michaelc
06-03-12, 17:47
hey guys/girls im a 24 year old male about 5'9 140lbs ish and im pretty new to what i can only assume is the start of my health anxiety in a chronic form. Previous to this i have always suffered from anxiety since a bad time with cannabis and i would google everything but only recently(1month) has it got to the point were im actually fearing for my life for probably no reason at all but i can seem to shake it no matter how hard i try, i have a good few hours or days were i think i might be past it then wham hits me again and it feels like each time it happens the hole im in is that bit deeper than before, this is my story in as short form as possible :)
Basically as i mentioned earlier i got in to the habit of googling everything, so one day i got out of the gym and was topless infront of a mirror and i just happened to notice i could see very faintly some light blue veins across my chest i mean it was a strain to see them but i did(im fairly thin and pale so makes sense right). so i googled this and with some digging came across ehler danlos syndrome of which thin skin and visible veins across chest is part of the vascular form the worst kind lol as always straight into the worst scenario even though i have no other symptoms of this at all just one was enough. over the course of the next few days i found that it can cause sudden death with this type usually due to an aneurysm from a genetic weakness in the structure, so i then had to google that no matter how hard i tried to resist and the symptom of my abdominal pulse came up everywhere as a marker for it so i checked min, bingo i have it and its fairly prominent to touch and the eye(iam thin build) and then this is were things went from anxiety to just hell on earth.
I was falling asleep and i can only assume currently this was my first ever real panic attack, from nowhere my heart hit the roof at about 160bpm and i got this cold rush all through out my body as if blood was draining from me and i thought an aneurysm had ruptured and i was about to die so i rushed into my parents room and they took me to the ER were i was hooked up and blood was taken they didnt seem to worried about the pulsing, from then on that day i was in hospital i kept getting reccurent attacks were i thought i was a goner. 3 doctors checked me out by prodding around my abdomen the first, a young doctor said it was abnormal to see it and looked fairly worried and went and got the a senior doctor who then went digging around my mid section to come up with the conclusion i had mild gastro enteritis?i think and he looked calm, i then had another huge panic attack when another tall male doctor came to calm me down and he felt around and said its very common in young thin men to be able to feel and see it and he also can and that my chances of having this were next to nil and that he couldnt feel an aneurysm and he didnt think i had a connective tissue disorder, fast forward a month to today and i just cant shake this pulsing out of my mind its there 24/7 and its turning me into a reck, i dont want to exercise or even move to fast incase i rupture something even though i told i was ok, its completly ruining me and i can feel it spiralling into a real problem for me. ive read so many posts on the net and many people seem to having the pulsing but i guess its the problem to think well maybes mine is the real deal you know, i think only an ultrasound would calm me but im scared to go back to a doctor asking for it just because i can see my pulse. Sorry its alot longer than i thought it would be i just got on a roll and ended up typing it all nearly but im just sick to my core thinking at any moment i will die and then i get close to a panic attack and that cold rush and impending doom feeling thinking ok this is it this time, hope somebody can help me out abit i feel quite vulnerable opening up like this even on a forum my family and friends dont have a clue they think im happy but im far from it.:unsure:
Basically as i mentioned earlier i got in to the habit of googling everything, so one day i got out of the gym and was topless infront of a mirror and i just happened to notice i could see very faintly some light blue veins across my chest i mean it was a strain to see them but i did(im fairly thin and pale so makes sense right). so i googled this and with some digging came across ehler danlos syndrome of which thin skin and visible veins across chest is part of the vascular form the worst kind lol as always straight into the worst scenario even though i have no other symptoms of this at all just one was enough. over the course of the next few days i found that it can cause sudden death with this type usually due to an aneurysm from a genetic weakness in the structure, so i then had to google that no matter how hard i tried to resist and the symptom of my abdominal pulse came up everywhere as a marker for it so i checked min, bingo i have it and its fairly prominent to touch and the eye(iam thin build) and then this is were things went from anxiety to just hell on earth.
I was falling asleep and i can only assume currently this was my first ever real panic attack, from nowhere my heart hit the roof at about 160bpm and i got this cold rush all through out my body as if blood was draining from me and i thought an aneurysm had ruptured and i was about to die so i rushed into my parents room and they took me to the ER were i was hooked up and blood was taken they didnt seem to worried about the pulsing, from then on that day i was in hospital i kept getting reccurent attacks were i thought i was a goner. 3 doctors checked me out by prodding around my abdomen the first, a young doctor said it was abnormal to see it and looked fairly worried and went and got the a senior doctor who then went digging around my mid section to come up with the conclusion i had mild gastro enteritis?i think and he looked calm, i then had another huge panic attack when another tall male doctor came to calm me down and he felt around and said its very common in young thin men to be able to feel and see it and he also can and that my chances of having this were next to nil and that he couldnt feel an aneurysm and he didnt think i had a connective tissue disorder, fast forward a month to today and i just cant shake this pulsing out of my mind its there 24/7 and its turning me into a reck, i dont want to exercise or even move to fast incase i rupture something even though i told i was ok, its completly ruining me and i can feel it spiralling into a real problem for me. ive read so many posts on the net and many people seem to having the pulsing but i guess its the problem to think well maybes mine is the real deal you know, i think only an ultrasound would calm me but im scared to go back to a doctor asking for it just because i can see my pulse. Sorry its alot longer than i thought it would be i just got on a roll and ended up typing it all nearly but im just sick to my core thinking at any moment i will die and then i get close to a panic attack and that cold rush and impending doom feeling thinking ok this is it this time, hope somebody can help me out abit i feel quite vulnerable opening up like this even on a forum my family and friends dont have a clue they think im happy but im far from it.:unsure: