View Full Version : My dairy of battling my agrophobia and panic attacks!!
So the past few months my agrophobia and panic attacks have reared their ugly heads...Plus my OCD so as you can imagne I've been pretty much house bound since December unless some one has been with me or been able to get a taxi there in front and pick me up outside the door...
Anyway I had a baby on the 20th of Feb and I decided enough was enough.. My Ocd has got ALOT worse during this time I obbsess I don't love my daughter even though I do and that sets of panic attacks then panic attacks set of agrophobia :doh: I get very nervous when I need to go out and plan how to get there days before and who's taking me and my escape route... like I couldn't walk down the town centre if i was further then 2 mins away from the bus stop
So everyday I've been trying to get out today I managed to go out on my own with my baby and actually sat in a cafe and had a drink and fed the baby!! And walked around the supermarket that is the first time I have been that far on my own since December and even more stressful with a newborn!!!
I'm going to update my progress every day and let you know where I go :roflmao:
Good for you you done very well keep it going it will do your confidance good :D
I get very nervous when I need to go out and plan how to get there days before and who's taking me and my escape route...
So everyday I've been trying to get out today I managed to go out on my own with my baby and actually sat in a cafe and had a drink and fed the baby!! And walked around the supermarket that is the first time I have been that far on my own since December and even more stressful with a newborn!!!
I'm going to update my progress every day and let you know where I go :roflmao:
Thats absoloutely brilliant news Katie....you should be so proud of what you have achieved :yesyes:
I got that 'planning' thing going on before I go anywhere too so I understand how hard this must be for you. You seem to have gained a strength since having your baby and that is deff a positive. Keep working at it, good luck and most of all well done you :yahoo:
Does anyone want to join me in trying to beat it? Atleast when we have a day where we are not doing good we have each other!
I know the only way to get over them is to go out and let the symptoms be there... I really wanted to turn round and run home and when I seen it in the distance I thought OMG i have to go all the way there then in there and wanted to run back home... but I just went NO you have to do it a panic attack is not going to kill you.... yes I felt light headed and like I was going to pass out but I kept at it... I even hyperventilated on the way up I burp in air and breathe in really deeply....
I know I need to get a grip on it now I have a baby it's not fair on her to be stuck in 4 walls.. I'd rather have a million panic attacks then let her suffer in any way shape of form...
The planning thing is stupid when it is really bad and I have to go out I plan what route to walk round a shop and just go into a blind panic and forget half of my things! How rubbish is panic attacks and anxitey? It's stupid... xx
Mountainclimber
06-03-12, 18:41
Thats great news, well done, treat yourself to something, stay focused and positive:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Totally agree, panic attacks and anxiety are rubbish lol. But you seem to have the right attitude and that's half the battle won. That planning thing...same for me, I spent all day a couple of weeks ago planning how I could get to small local supermarket, just a short distance away, only needed bread & cigs lol but took me all day to finally convince myself I could do it, so stupid :doh: I'm already with you in trying to beat it, and you're so right, there are some great supportive people here to help us on our journey.
So the past few months my agrophobia and panic attacks have reared their ugly heads...Plus my OCD so as you can imagne I've been pretty much house bound since December unless some one has been with me or been able to get a taxi there in front and pick me up outside the door...
Anyway I had a baby on the 20th of Feb and I decided enough was enough.. My Ocd has got ALOT worse during this time I obbsess I don't love my daughter even though I do and that sets of panic attacks then panic attacks set of agrophobia :doh: I get very nervous when I need to go out and plan how to get there days before and who's taking me and my escape route... like I couldn't walk down the town centre if i was further then 2 mins away from the bus stop
So everyday I've been trying to get out today I managed to go out on my own with my baby and actually sat in a cafe and had a drink and fed the baby!! And walked around the supermarket that is the first time I have been that far on my own since December and even more stressful with a newborn!!!
I'm going to update my progress every day and let you know where I go :roflmao:
I have agoraphobia and i get panic attacks, i managed to go to Birmingham today on the train. But beforehand i was panicking on the bus :scared15:
So glad I found this thread - and well done OP! You should be really proud of yourself :)
So, I have panic and anxiety too, and had a really bed experience last november when quite far from home. Since then, I haven't left my local area at all, and can just about manage to get to work which is a 15 minute walk away.
Anyway tomorrow, I have to drive 18 miles to an appointment and I'm so scared. I have to go to this appointment and I don't know if I will be able to cope. My mum and my partner are coming with me, and I have propranolol and diazepam if I need it. Still worried though, that I might have huge panic attack and not be able to function. My partner will be able to drive if I get bad, which is good.
I have such a phobia of vomiting and being confined which is affecting my life severely, and so badly want to be normal
So glad I found this thread - and well done OP! You should be really proud of yourself :)
So, I have panic and anxiety too, and had a really bed experience last november when quite far from home. Since then, I haven't left my local area at all, and can just about manage to get to work which is a 15 minute walk away.
Anyway tomorrow, I have to drive 18 miles to an appointment and I'm so scared. I have to go to this appointment and I don't know if I will be able to cope. My mum and my partner are coming with me, and I have propranolol and diazepam if I need it. Still worried though, that I might have huge panic attack and not be able to function. My partner will be able to drive if I get bad, which is good.
I have such a phobia of vomiting and being confined which is affecting my life severely, and so badly want to be normal
Hey, You know what to do remember the tablets are there and if you need to take them they are there but knowing they are there should be enough... try to ride through the anxitey.. I just tell myself 'this is panic attack, It's not going to hurt me and let the feelings be there... sometimes it does get too much though and I do turn back home.. but knowing I tried to manage it helps!!
The best thing to do is keep exposing yourself... I know it's hard x
So I didn't manage to update yesterday with what I did!!... I never had time with a new born my days nappy changes and visiting people..
Well I managed to stay out from 1-6 pm that is pretty good for me. At one point I really really wanted to come home mainly due to my OCD and wanting to obbsess alone what is typical of me..we only went to oh's Mum's and Grans but his Gran's is quite far away so I did well to be that far away from home without making an excuse to not go... we then got back and just popped into asda and boots whats good for me I didn't run home when I had the chance and I did feel panicy in asda but I got on with it and just done what I needed to do......
So slowly getting there x
Well done Katie and to all of you, i know what you mean by being in a safe place etc or not being too far away from home.... sometimes we do have to push ourselves etc.... well done to all! you sound like your a great mum!
So then today I managed to stand in a queue! Go to tesco to take my tens machine back what I hate really big bright lights that make me feel light headed and too busy for me... and also to my mum's work and a pub! Don't get me wrong I found it difficult and did just want to go home but it's true what they say it does get easier each time you go out... once you realise you arne't going to die and panic attacks aren't going to kill you even though they are rank you just have to let them be there that way you are going to over come it.. you just have to be the stronger person in them... I know I get angry a bit now when I feel panicy about going out I just tell it to f off!!!
But as I am abit of a pessmist I know it could all come crashing back down with one huge panic attack so i'm enjoying it while i can xx
nice to hear your doing so well good on you :D
You are sounding so positive and achieving so much...WOW...well done, keep up the good work :yahoo:
Today was difficult... I woke up with the classic anticipation nerves as I knew I had to go in to Manchester city centre with Oh to his work.. And I hate it it is so big!!
So I got up felt really excited from the nervous energy... had the runs a few times hehe and just felt all over paniced....
We went to register Ivy's birth first and I felt anxious the whole way through it because I knew we had to go to manchester afterwards... I managed that Okayish but still had a huge anxitey about going to town...
So we get in to town and I start freaking out at Oh about how far he is parking from his work.. we then sit in the car for two mins while I sort out my hair.. god my body started freaking out I felt my knees lock and felt like I couldn't move at all... I got out of the car and thought oh im okay.... started walking to Oh's work adn he said lets go for a coffee first I was like omg I hated every min but I managed it.. then got to oh's work and freaked out had a mini panic attack but managed to stay at his work and just ride through it... so I did well in a way I guess I think it's too soon for me to be going in to a main town centre where it's extremely busy it will just knock my confidence...
I know I need to work on my Ocd thoughts aswell they cause the majorty of my panic attacks espcially the ones revolving around Ivy where I get thoughts like 'ifeel like she's not mine etc' x
You are still a very new Mum and all new mums are nervous and feel their baby is a little stranger at times. But as you bond with your baby as time goes by you will no longer feel she's not yours because she will be part of you.
I think you are doing well going out and trying to conquer your fears. Well done! My daughter is also nervous and has panic attacks (runs in the family) but she bravely pushes herself to overcome them. She hates flying and once ended up in hospital with her nerves in Spain but she persevered and has been to Florida and abroad many times since then.
She has her ups and downs as we all do but in many cases the anxiety and panic DOES go away!
I'm new to this website and I am so happy I found this thread! This pretty much sums up my daily life, as well...it's a constant struggle. Sometimes I feel so lost in my panic that I forget there are other people in the world who can relate to me. It's also really helpful to read about your progress because it gives me hope that I really can improve. Right now, I'm trying to get over the "stuck" feeling I get where I can't move in any direction on my way to school and end up calling a friend. It's a really bad habit and I know that if I push myself a little bit more, I will end up having a panic attack, which terrifies me.
That's the only way to get better though, isn't it? Sigh... best of luck to you and I look forward to hearing about your progress!
little wren
20-03-12, 10:30
Hi Katie, like LadyAnne I too find your posting helpful. It helps so much to hear of others who understand. Congrats. on your baby and look forward to hearing how you are doing x
Hi LadyAnne, I too feel stuck (I was doing really well with going out and then I let it lapse). I have to go out in a bit and I really don't relish it. I know I have to go otherwise it will be even harder the next time. x
SummerBaby
20-03-12, 10:40
I have such a phobia of vomiting
I can't remember who wrote this wee bit here, but i've not ever sen anybody who also suffers this too!! This is my phobia too hon, and its so annoying isn't it!!!! :weep: I have OCD too so its even worse as i'm paranoid about germs etc!!!
Katie, congrats on your wee one chick! Well done for your achievements!! You should feel extremely proud of yourself babes x
you doing great katie well done.... i have a diary on here somewhere and u sound very much like me apart from your doing such a better job of it then me!!! x
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