Everything is so still and quiet !!!!!!

[darkangel]

I dont normally start many threads but there is something I want to ask and see if anyone can relate to this.

I have had panic attacks and GAD and agoraphobia for a very long time but would say that over the past couple of years I have been recovering quite well and coping better.

I know how to handle the anxiety and when I am out I have tended to expect it so I deal with it.

However, today it was such a lovely sunny day and I drove to a local park and wandered around the gardens and sat on a bench for about an hour and I felt so still and peaceful with no anxious thoughts - my mind sort of went blank - I couldnt feel my heart beating and of course - I panicked.

Do you think if I have been anxious for a long time especially outdoor that maybe this is what relaxation feels like? I was sitting there enjoying the sunshine and watching everyone pass by but I was conscious I was still thinking What if something happens and I take ill? Do you just think it will take time for me to accept this new calm feeling?

Can someone reassure me on this - I always think my breathing will stop if I let myself get too calm - Ive just written this and think God how stupid but this is a big worry for me.

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

[bobsy]

Hi

I seem to be in a similar position to you.

when i get too relaxed i think something is going to happen to me too.

when i cant hear or feel my heart beating or dont feel anxious i then start to worry - dont no why

together we will get there.

bobsy

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Darkangel,

I do not think your post is stupid, I do think it will take some time to get used to not being so anxious. You did mention, however, that when you are out you expect anxiety so you deal with it. Quite possibly you were relaxing and weren't used to it so you started to panic over it or were waiting unconsciously to start panicking. I think you have made huge steps towards your recovery and need to just accept these new feelings. You will not stop breathing, you know this logically, but when has anxiety ever been logical eh?

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[Daisybun]

Well done darkangel, it really sounds so encouraging to hear that you are doing so well. I thikn is belle is right, when we have suffered so long and expect panic we can expect panic to turn up, that's what we're used to. I know when i feel OK I stop and think I'm not worrying, there must be something wrong, it is so much a part of me, I am trying to accept that things can be OK, and look at positives rather than negatives. It's great that you could relax like that and wow you've come really far! You must be so pleased.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[sophieunderscore]

I can completely relate to this, I use my anxiety as almost a defence mechanism... if I don't feel anxious something will happen because it would be ironic or I tempted fate.

I also find it very difficult to relax because, like you, I get scared that my heart will give out or my longs aren't working properly. I also get worried when I get sleepy because i'm convinced i'm ill and just gonna fade away [:I]

Tha is what relaxation feels like, and keep practising! Just accept that you're relaxing and it's good for you :)

[bobsy]

when i go for massages reiki etc i can never relax as im worried im never gonna wake up im on alert all the time lol. Think its because im not used to the feeling of relaxation. my other half can fall asleep anywhere and im always looking about or doing something - i think i also can feel quite quilty relaxing.

it is nice to feel relaxed though even if for a few mins

take care

bobsy

[heths]

Hi Darkangel,

I can relate to what you're saying.

A therapist once told me that even though I don't like to feel anxious, at the same time it makes me feel safe.

I think the more we learn to relax and get used to it, we'll get more comfortable with it. It's because we've got so used to the anxiety.

Take Care,
Heather x

[Shostakovich]

Hi Darkangel,

When I relax I have the same experience. I do not suffer from anxiety, but my partner has done so I can appreciate your dilema. When we relax, our body calms down, our heart rate lowers and our breathing slows. There is a very good reason for this, our bodies do not require the same amount of oxygen when we are in a relaxed state, so it adjusts accordingly. Our bodies also have an automated response, this keeps our hearts and lungs working, we cannot stop them. It's all very clever really. Maybe a way to become familiar with the relaxed sensation is to practise it little and often, and only as long as you are comfortable with it.

I hope this helps

S

Every journey starts with a single step.

[darkangel]

thanks for all your replies

it is good to know i am not alone in this

i have spent most of my life in an anxious state and it will just take time to adjust to.

take care everyone

darkangel x

........life is for living not just for surviving

[PUGLETMUM]

hello darkangel, like you i am very used to feeling anxious. by the way well done with going to the park and you must be virtually recovered. but we still get the what ifs? though don't we? but they take time to deal with and the more you do independantly or outside of your safety circle you are going to get the what if's? i think but you have to mentally , calmly deal with them, coz that's all they are, just frightening thoughts about what catastophe may happen. but it never does does it? that's what we're protecting ourselves from, but generally they don't happen.

this will just be a little blip, just carry on your way and forget it. keep going, emmas