Feeling Low But Don't Know Why

[Bakerboy3685]

Hi

Not posted on here for a while because I have suffered mainly from OCD and started CBT to help get over it. Pleased to say it has been going well but instead of being happy that my OCD is miles better, I feel really low.

Last 2 weeks by the afternoon I start to feel fed up and sad for no reason and last night I got really scared because I was having thoughts about jumping in front of a train. Even though it was not necessarily me in my thoughts and I don't feel suicidial, whenever I think about it now I get all worked up and in a big panic because I am scared I will want to do that one day.

I have taken Citalopram 20mg for 2 years now and I don't know whether it is enough anymore, but I was hoping to stop them soon rather than increase them. I have no reason in my life to be miserable but I am scared I am on a slippery slope going down. :weep:

[theharvestmouse]

What is your day to day life like? What is making you miserable? Can you pinpoint where that feeling is coming from?

The intrusive suicidal thoughts are quite common, I take Citalopram as well and I've had them, not sure if its the medication or me but I empathise with you on that.

Have you got a job? Do you do much exercise? Eat healthy?

Sorry for all the questions but it might help.

[Bakerboy3685]

That's ok nice to have someone to talk to about it. I admit there have been some problems of late but I thought I was getting over them.

I do have a good job but I am looking to leave and although I do not hate it here, I do want a new challenge.

I suffered from loneliness in the past but I have a girlfriend now who I have lived with for over a year. However biggest revelation was a few weeks ago when I found out she cheated on me. We are still together as I still love her and decided to forgive her, things have been good since but maybe there is underlying worry, though I don't really feel like there is.

I got a new car yesterday and was buzzing, but today instead of feeling pleased I feel not bothered about anything and just down. Also so tired, can't stop yawaning.

[bignik]

maybe just a little blip and will get over it in the next few days , if problems persist and intrusive thoughts perhaps your medication being upped a little might help , I was on mirtazipine 45mg max dose for 7 months and then all of a sudden felt falling down the slippery slope of despair , was very suicidal one week , had actually gone as far as planning it etc , but I poulled back and spoke to my shrink , she then started me on citalopram 20mg and told me to take on top of my mirtazipine , and within a couple of weeks I was back to normal.

So I guess what Im saying although you feel suicidal and feel no reason for it , it may just be your meds falling a little short for you to keep you on that even keel. Dont think about it too much just speak to your Doctor about it and straight away if of serious concern.

[Bakerboy3685]

Thanks for the replies, I just get in a panic when I start to feel low because I worry that I'm going to go downhill. I know I am having a blip sometimes but when you are having that so called blip you worry it will be constant.

I have only just seen the doc other week and just got same prescription as usual, but maybe now it is not enough.

[theharvestmouse]

Bakerboy, I don't know but finding out about you girlfriend cheating is a pretty hard thing to come to terms with and that could well be causing some underlying anxiety and making you feel a bit down. Maybe you should actually really think about whether its had a negative impact on you.

[Bakerboy3685]

Yeah it is hard to take and at one point I thought we were going to split up, but when I thought how I felt if we broke up it made me feel even worse, so I believed I did not want that to happen.

I have tried not to think about it since but maybe it is hanging over me without realising.