son just upset me over anxiety

[tricia56]

hi posted on here for a while now and have had anxiety for about 4yrs now as usall it was quite bad at first but im still leaning to overcome it and exept it and the last few days have been bad and i did post on here yesterday because i had to go to town on my own and i felt really bad , and today been really anxiouse and kept thinking about how i felt when i went out yesterday and thought about not going out again , and i needed to talk to some one so i asked my son for abit advice about my anxiety and when i asked him for his advice about anxiety he blentanly told me that im always going on about my anxiety and blaming it for everything as ive had it for a few yrs and for me to just stop going on about it andthinking about all the time because thats all i do and he said im not helping myself because im always up the doc wont take any medication he gives me for symtoms and that the anxiety wont kill me and to just forget about the anxiety and just get on with being normal like going out and doing the normal stuff people doing instead of always thinking about anxiety and the way i feel all the time and that i dont listen to wat the doc has said or any one else ive seen over anxiety. he made me feel bad about myself and got me thinking that i am not helping myself and that all my family and even my gp thinks im not helping myself and that im just doing it for pity , and that he right in wat he saying. all i want is some one to talk to when im bad with it and to help me over come it as i dont have help from no one and feel every one has given up on me even my gp and sick of hearing me going on about ANXIETY. so am i really keeping my anxiety going keep talking about it and useing it as a exuse for not doing things, SO WOULD LIKE SOME FFED BACK OF FELLOW SUFFERS IF THEY CAN PLEASE THK YOU

[Stormsky]

hi
It is hard i guess for non sufferers to understand what its like...but im sorry its upset you...that doesnt help you either..
I read the below quote from an article though, and there is something to be said for it-

Another important step is that you need to stop reading and researching your condition. Once you figure out whats going on and learn what you need to do about it then leave it at that. One of the key elements to defeating anxiety is to forget it even exists. The more you think about it the more it will grow and control your life. You need to understand whats happening so you can stop an attack in progress but don’t spend your whole day thinking about anxiety. Don’t talk to other people about anxiety more than you have to either. Replace the time you would normally be thinking about it with a hobby or anything really that keeps you distracted. The more time you don’t think about it the farther away in your mind it will be. Then when it pops up you say “its just a feeling and nothing is wrong” and your anxiety will creep back out of your mind. Practice this long enough and it will lower your overall anxiety levels back to normal.

[Mindful]

He is right, but oh how easy it is to say ''Just get on with it'' when it isnt you going through it. I think for people who havent been there its incredibly hard to hear someone repeat the same old problems over and over, with no real signs of improvement. Its frustrating for them because they cannot help you, the doctors cannot help you, they can offer you pills and therapys and tell you its anxiety, books and forums and blogs can tell you the same, they can advice and offer support but they cannot help you.

YOU have to help YOU.. and this is why its so so hard. We search and search for the answer, for someone to show us how, and we can find helpful tips and understanding along the way but still at the end of the day when we queue up in that shop or stand beside the front door preparing to step out side, we are alone with our mind and our fears. The racing heart, the shaking legs, the spinning head, the dry mouth, the inability to swallow, the sweating, the blurred vision, the dodgy feeling in the stomach, the need for the toilet, the breathlessness, the feeling of doom.. this we have to believe in that moment is just anxiety.. thats why its so so hard and only we know this feeling of pure horror and are expected to work, to shop, to carry on, pull ourselves together and so on...

I feel for you on this because you just want to talk about what you worry about, who doesnt? Facing this every day is not something people can just brush off, but there has to come a point when the talking turns into action. There is only one true way to over come all of the above and that is to face, accept and pass through until it no longer matters... getting there is the tricky part. x