True or false? And explain..... [Archive]

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jca

09-03-12, 06:00

I have a friend who is DESTINED to be a inspirational speaker. She is only 21 and only has great views on life. Fortunate for her. I sometimes think she is faking it. Anyway. She has a sign above her front door...

"Happiness is a choice"

She is always reminding me of her slogan any time we talk. Is happiness a choice? I don't think that I CHOOSE to be sad or depressed. There are so many things (from the past) that I hold on to and use to direct how I will feel. So, I am making myself sad? Are we just supposed to FORGET the bad things that made us the way we are, or think we are? Does letting the past effect our today really hurt who we want it to hurt? I feel like if I forget how people have hurt me, they win. But, I'm the one who is sad and bothered. So, no one wins?

So. True or false

Happiness is a choice.

PanchoGoz

09-03-12, 11:01

Abstract; you don't choose how you feel, but you can choose what you do or not do to feel that way. ie. you can choose to get help or choose to stumble on. If I saw that sign I wouldn't think "Oh so that's where I went wrong all these years silly me I'll be happy now".
Also, I swear some people are eternally happy all the time. This annoys me.

eeyorelover

09-03-12, 16:04

I can't give a true or false for this question because it really does depend on the individual.

If the person is clinically depressed then it's a matter of brain chemicals not choosing whether to be happy or not.

Putting that aside, a person who doesn't suffer from depression does make choices when it comes to happiness.
I've come to the conclusion, in my life, that it's no one's responsibility to make me happy or sad. That is up to me.
The past doesn't define me, my present, or my future.
I don't forget about what happened, but I don't let it consume me.
That may not be the key to happiness, but it is my way of moving forward and not dwelling on what happened back then.

jca

09-03-12, 21:08

Great responses, guys, thanks!

ShazyA

10-03-12, 10:39

Definately false, we do have a certain amount of control but we are not resposible for any outside influences in our lives, and its these that usually contribute to depression/anxiety ect.
We interact with different people on a daily basis and their actions obviously have an impact on our emotions, thats just human nature.
Anyone who is "happy" all of the time is either a liar or devoid of emotion. You would also have to be a selfish person to only consider your own happiness and disregard others feelings inorder to achieve it.
Great thread, really got me thinking, thanks.

xfilme

10-03-12, 17:53

dolittle

10-03-12, 20:41

if i had the choice id take being happy over not....so no i would say its not a choice

ShazyA

10-03-12, 23:22

I used to say it was false. Until I tried not being unhappy. Now I believe it to be true. I choose not to be happy. As a result of this choice, I can happily say, I left my Clinical Depression in 2002, and it has not returned since.
So in the last 10 years you have been totally happy? No1 has caused you to feel sad, angry or any other emotion except for happy?
No1 chooses to be depressed/anxious or whatever, we can however choose to overcome these issues with strength, support and a great deal of willpower.

Pipkin

10-03-12, 23:46

True and false. Anxiety and depression are beyond your control but you can choose to stay positive and keep fighting them. It takes real effort but we're still here because we're strong enough to keep trying.

Pip x

xfilme

11-03-12, 15:14

So in the last 10 years you have been totally happy? No1 has caused you to feel sad, angry or any other emotion except for happy?
No1 chooses to be depressed/anxious or whatever, we can however choose to overcome these issues with strength, support and a great deal of willpower.

Of course I feel emotions other than happiness. Im not a robot. I have sad days, but thats normal. Depression is not simply having a sad day. My depression lasted from childhood until I was 24. I tried therapy and medication for years. I would cry every single day because I felt so low... so I can honestly say that in the last ten years, Ive at worst felt one day in every six months thay I might feel sad, but not depressed. Ive not felt depressed at all in ten years,

I do firmly believe, that for ME, happiness is a choice. I have my share of difficulties. I suffer with two long term anxiety conditions. But Im happy 99% of the time, and have been for the last decade. That is because I choose to be happy despite my setbacks.

I am not implying happiness is a choice for everyojne. I can only speak of my own experience. There is no correct answer to this debate, only a collection of opinions. In my opinion, happiness is a choice. But I do not suffer from a clinical problem whereby my seratonin levels are imbalanced, as those do with some depression disorders. For those people, happiness is not a choice.

ShazyA

11-03-12, 16:00

Of course I feel emotions other than happiness. Im not a robot. I have sad days, but thats normal. Depression is not simply having a sad day. My depression lasted from childhood until I was 24. I tried therapy and medication for years. I would cry every single day because I felt so low... so I can honestly say that in the last ten years, Ive at worst felt one day in every six months thay I might feel sad, but not depressed. Ive not felt depressed at all in ten years,

I do firmly believe, that for ME, happiness is a choice. I have my share of difficulties. I suffer with two long term anxiety conditions. But Im happy 99% of the time, and have been for the last decade. That is because I choose to be happy despite my setbacks.

I am not implying happiness is a choice for everyojne. I can only speak of my own experience. There is no correct answer to this debate, only a collection of opinions. In my opinion, happiness is a choice. But I do not suffer from a clinical problem whereby my seratonin levels are imbalanced, as those do with some depression disorders. For those people, happiness is not a choice.

I never meant to imply you were a robot... The origional post implied that her friend was constantly upbeat and happy, which in my opinion is impossible. I have my issues but am not unhhappy, i have a happy homelife, and life in general is good except for the anxiety which I have learned to live with inorder to prevent the depression I previously suffered.

jca

11-03-12, 16:19

Sometimes I think that my friend IS a robot. I think she chooses to be happy on the outside. But I doubt she is happy on the inside all the time, and I don't think that THAT part is a choice.

Carys

11-03-12, 17:04

Sometimes I think that my friend IS a robot. I think she chooses to be happy on the outside. But I doubt she is happy on the inside all the time, and I don't think that THAT part is a choice.

Ah, you see that is interesting.......I don't believe anyone can be happy all the time, that isn't human. If people appear happy the whole time then they are putting a front up.

Stormsky

11-03-12, 18:19

I say true... only we control our happiness... you choose your mood by the thoughts you choose to have.... i know depression is chemical and people will say you have no choice in that case...by i suffer depression, and make myself be happy whether im really down or not.... i do things that i know make me happy....i think happy... but this is all my personnal opinion....

PanchoGoz

11-03-12, 21:44

In Russia, the happiness feels YOU.

jca

12-03-12, 06:12

haha I'm not sure what that means, PanchoGoz. But it's funny you said that. I have been obsessed with Russian for a few years. Reading about the culture and history. When I first read it, I thought "there's my sign! I should really go". =)

robinbrum

12-03-12, 20:02

"Happiness is a choice."

Now I've seen the light:yesyes:...I shall repeat this every day until I believe it to be true....It's right up there with "Pull yourself together" and "Cheer up, it might never happen."

Gave me a good laugh I must say, although worryingly some people on here seem to think this statement actually has some merit....although, maybe it does?

Discuss...

eeyorelover

12-03-12, 20:25

I absolutely think that it has merit.
The way I see it, if I am coming down with a cold and I keep telling myself how sick I feel, it only makes me feel worse.
If I lay in bed all day (which has happened!) and keep telling myself how unhappy I am with my anxiety...the symptoms, etc...it makes me feel worse than if I get up and do some busy-work to take my mind off of things.

Negativity only breeds more negativity in my opinion.

robinbrum

12-03-12, 20:57

Yes, that is true on a very simplistic level and there will always be those who like to wallow in self-pity. But you're on very dodgy ground if you start comparing conditions like clinical depression with the common cold....the mind just doesn't work that way.

12-03-12, 21:49

I would agree with the above , what I believe is we cannot change the past if we could I m sure each and every one of us would , but we can look to the future you are the only one who can control your life , my belief is to forgive those that hurt you ,it makes you the better person Xx
Zoe.

jca

13-03-12, 00:33

A friend and I discussed this a little at lunch today. I'm on the fence about it... I can argue both sides and in all sorts of ways... I'll never decide which side I'm on. She was completelyon the false side. She compared it to many things. She said calling happiness a choice is like calling obesity or homosexuality a choice. She was so annoyed by the conversation that she wanted to deface my other friends sign.

I didn't realize it could strike up such debate.

I don't think I choose to be depressed when I am. I just am. And yes, I can choose to stay in bed all day or get up and do something. If I do something, it does take my mind off the depression, but because I am focused on doing something, not because I am not depressed while active. Once I am finished doing whatever it was, 8 times out of 10 I wish I had just stayed in bed.

eeyorelover

13-03-12, 02:40

The first post I did I said clinical depression is a whole other issue entirely.
We aren't talking about clinical depression.
Simplistic or not, in my opinion, optimism is it's own reward.
Negativity is a cancer and it blacks the soul.

little wren

13-03-12, 12:32

What a great philosophical question!

Happiness is a choice? Well both yes and no! I agree with everyone who separates clinical depression from the argument (but I would also include severe anxiety problems which result from low serotonin or other biological factors). We need a certain level of functioning to begin with. Serotonin has a very real effect (I don't know if research has shown if levels can be increased by positive thought/action alone). However, as we 'get better' (probably via meds) then I feel we can more readily start to think positively about the situation (cbt uses this). For the non-clinical population or for those on the road to recovery from depression/anxiety then yes I do believe postive thought helps a lot. I believe (just like with Pavlovs dogs) that we do build new neural pathways and condition ourselves (sometimes inadvertently) to following a certain pathway of thought rather than another.
As you get older you realise life is not black and white and lots of things do not fit so easily into boxes (even though it would make life a lot simpler if they did). x

Lynnann

13-03-12, 23:48

I have to admit this has sparked an interest in me, great debate and very interesting conversation. jca you have naturally put in place CBT therapies doing things that take your mind off the depression.

Little wren I have chosen the path of non clinical treatment, my choice :) and I truly believe positive thought helps so much, I will say it is difficult to find at times but well worth the effort believe me takes soo much effort sometimes). In fairness when we were young we all thought we knew it all, time life and experience taught us that we had much to learn :) It would definitely make life easier if we could compartmentalise everything and box it away :). works until something unsettles the filing system :)

Lynnann:flowers:

little wren

14-03-12, 12:10

What a great philosophical question!

Just a last thought, I was genuinely surprised that your friend who is only 21 feels they know enough about life experiences to make a sweeping generalisation about happiness. As you get older you realise life is not black and white and lots of things do not fit so easily into boxes (even though it would make our life a lot simpler if they did). x

Lol! Lynnan, yeh just re-read the above and it sounds like no-one under the age of x is allowed an opinion :blush:. I think I was in rave mode when I wrote that :doh: take care x

soulcrosses

15-03-12, 00:17

I beliebe that the choice is not to be happy or sad, or everyone would be happy. The choice is between having a will to be happy or not. There is a difference.*One requires work.*We all want to be happy but only a few are willing to put in the work. If you want to golf like Tiger Woods, you must eat, sleep, shit golf. If you want to be Stephen King, you must eat, sleep, shit stories. Happiness is not a choice. It is a process. It requires patience, persistance, and lots and lots of practice. You want happiness? Eat, sleep, and shit happy. That said, where mental illnesses ate concerned, that's a little different. We're like big balls of chemicals. Things go wrong, it effects how we feel. Aim to be happy.

:)

eeyorelover

15-03-12, 04:34