want to get out of this body!

[RavenLight]

i feel like i'm at that point where i don't trust my thinking nor my body. i had been doing really well for awhile but now it's all on my again. the daily anxiety, the up and down panic. it feels like no matter what i do, whether i'm eating right, sleeping right, whatever, i still feel like poop.
i keep getting that feeling that nothing is real. it's not complete depersonalization/derealization, but it's close to it. that feeling of nothing matters. who cares? depression? probably. i posted earlier about how separating from my partner has been really tough. we're still living together but will not be very soon. i keep hoping that once it's totally over and i'm able to heal away from him, that i will feel better. but, there's that fear that it's just me and well, wherever you go, there you are.
i know stress isn't good for us. especially us. not sure what i can do now to not feel it.
anyone else feel betrayed by their body and mind? anything help? i feel so distant from myself. like i'm in this foreign container and i want to get out! keep thinking, if it weren't for this stupid body i'd be free. i'd be fine. and then that gets me scared because i think, what if i really try to do something to "get out?"
thanks, guys, for reading. sometimes it feels so lonely and it feels like it's going to be this way forever. somewhere i know this isn't true. but, mostly it's what's in front of me.

[PanchoGoz]

Firstly, dp is horrid. It is completely in your mind however and your body and reality is always still there for you, no matter what. It feels like you are going to float off into the abyss at any moment but it will never happen. It's just another symptom after all, although we generally agree it is the most frightening of them all. I would have a palpitation any day compared to depersonalization.
Now brace yourself for some Jungian mumbo...deep breath.
You hate your body. Your mind is not in a good relationship with your body. Think of your mind and body as people - you have an overactive mind which is constantly watching and analyzing your body and causing it strange flight or fight symptoms and your body has to cope with this all the time. It is your mind that is the problem and your body does not how to deal with the abuse it gets from your thoughts! And after your mind is causing your body all this panic to which it obediantly reacts to as it thinks it is in danger, you treat it with hatred! If you were your body you would go on strike!
How are you really physically? Aside from feeling gross and icky. Are you in good genuine health? Good heart? Lungs? Strong legs? If you were thankful to your body for processing your food, coping with your stress, carrying you around all your life and coping by itself when you are asleep, maybe, just maybe, it would start to feel better. If you were to spend ten minutes working your way around you body and thanking each little part for what it does for you in life, touching it and getting back in contact with it, you would feel a humongous difference.

You won't feel this way forever, the sun is always behind that cloud. One day you will break through and feel it's warmth on your face :)

[RavenLight]

thank you so much for that. i really needed that. i'm thinking maybe i will take some time and really thank my body. i seriously got teary reading that thinking about how terrible my body must feel.
part of it is also the idea that i thought i was past this. i had been doing so well. so for it to come back felt like a betrayal.
just wish everyone, body and mind, would shake hands and get along! :)

[PanchoGoz]

Yeah thats the spirit, good stuff! I find it so interesting how body and mind are connected. Remember it's not betrayal, its just a set back to test your ability to cope in the future :)
I hope you feel better soon, keep active and occupied, it all helps. :D