Is this still Panic? Or something else..

[TillySm]

Hello,

I posted about a month ago I think asking for advice and now I am after more advice.

I am still in the midst of a mental health crisis that is hard to get out of. If you recall I suffer from OCD/panic disorder/anxiety complicated by sleep apnea.

I am now on 100mg of Zoloft and have been on it for about 2 months. The problem is that it is not helping and I am starting to think this is more than panic/anxiety. The reason is - the anxiety *feels* like it has gone, just the physical effects of it but the mental effects remain.

I just wanted to share the extra symptoms - And my question is - is it still panic\anxiety. Constant racing thoughts throughout the day, sometimes of bizarre images or thoughts. I hear fragmented sound bites of conversations I have had 5 minutes ago in my mind (not actually hear them, only in my mind). Constant need to try and find a solution what is wrong, and when I feel a bit positive it only lasts for one hour and I am doubting the positivity. Strange automatic thoughts that analize my memories and my concept of time, it makes me feel so strange and I have an instant worry pang (this happens all day). NO DISTRACTION works my mind is always racing.. sometimes when I am walking it feels like I am not moving but the world is moving under me (I hate that). Sometimes I look at objects and my mind says what it is - like magazine, book, chair.. this is distracting and makes me worry. Unability to handle stressfull situations, things that normally wouldn't worry me do now.. extreme suggestability that is close to delusion like - I read about the exorcism of emily rose and started to panic that I am perhaps possessed and this is spiritual.. I keep telling myself NO it's BS but I worry about it anyway. Then I will automatically scratch myself or something (like a normal automatic response that is almost not conscious) and I freak out that it wasn't me that caused me to scratch when I know deep down that it was me. Sometimes all most believing delusions that god is mad with me and I am stuffed etc. My mind is fragmented - doesn't feel like it is connected. Constant negative intrusive thoughts. I have severe feelings of unreality sometimes. Feelings of time distortion. Loss of appetite, can't relax and enjoy things I used to, feelings of hopelessness. Awareness flicking in and out of my mind. "intuitive functioning" is gone, I question everything automatically.

Phew, that is alot of symptoms but I got the gist out there too you.

What worries me is that I think the Zoloft has controlled the physical feelings of anxiety but I have all this mental crap. Is it still just anxiety fooling me?

What do you guys think? Still panic or some sort of sleep deprived psychosis?

[Tero]

Sounds like your mind is not able to foucs on things. Are you able to carry out tasks that require concentration?

[lindor]

I think you should go back to your doctor. It could be this medication is the wrong one for you. Some meds can make your symptoms worse instead of better, I have read. So go back and explain this to your doctor. It could be you also need CBT to control your thoughts

[Carys]

I agree with Lindor, I would certainly go back and ask for some more advice on your mental health and the symptoms you are experiencing. It doesn't sound as if the medication is really working for you, it has removed the 'panic attack' part but all the other symptoms of anxiety remain.

[racdun]

Hi i had similar experience when I was at the height of my anxiety. I wasnt on medication so my way of explanation is that your brain is like a circuit board and when we are anxious it can misfire and throw all sorts of physical and mental complaints at us. I remember a time when I was full of physical symptoms and then as I became less afraid of them because I began to accept it as anxiety and not some major illness coming over me. The physical side eased off and for ages after I was left with the mental side of anxiety - like constantly thinking about what was making me anxious and how I would solve it. Because my mind was so focused on that all day every day it became habit after a while so I could never relax mentally. Then i started to worry about being mentally ill and what it meant and it was just one big cycle of worry.
So to start giving your mind a break begin a 10 minute session of relaxation two or three times a day. You can download some off the internet (i dont have any site names to hand) or maybe look in your local health store for guided relaxation cds. It will be hard starting off to get your mind to switch off and listen to whats on the cd but give it a good week and see how much better you will feel at the end of it. After a while of doing this your brain will begin to accept the new norm of slowing down its thought process and you will feel more relaxed. Also some camomile tea throughout the day is very relaxing. Hope some of this helps.

[the railway cat]

HI TillSm,... I tend to think and agree with Racdun's idea that the brain is misfiring signals, I know mine is from time to time. Although I am sick and tired of the attacks as long as I know it is just adrenaline and not me going mad, then I tend to accept it. You're not going crazy for sure and your doctor will certainly notice any signs if you were. We all have internal dialogue so don't worry. Just think of yourself as being Hyper alert! after all this would have made us survivors in the early days of cave men I imagine... hope this helps

[zavo]

Don't let these thoughts, because that's all they are, ruin your life. We have all been where you are to a certain degree. Do get a hold of Claire Weekes' excellent books in which she will confirm to you that what you are going through is pure nervous exhaustion and that there is hope and a way out. Hang in there!!