AaronB
11-03-12, 10:57
Hi Everyone,
I'm not sure if this is in the right section, but I need some advice.
My girlfriend has been showing some anxiety and depression symptoms. She has had a bit of a rough childhood, a rocky relationship with her mum, and was given (forced to have) a lot of responsibility as a child.
Her mum showed her almost no affection, thought it was funny to 'pick on her' about her weight when she was growing up, and in a nutshell was just a bad mum.
My girlfriend is 18 now, and has been attending CBT to try and resolve some issues and this has worked well so far. She has been able to finally speak to her mum and express how she feels and basically ask for change. And so far, so good.
However, she still has almost zero self confidence and self esteem. She was overweight as a child and then lost a fair bit, now she is a size 12/14 and beautiful. However she still thinks she is fat, grossly fat to be honest.
It seems that when she lost a lot of weight the bit that remained was her belly, it overhangs a bit and to her it's a constant reminder of how she used to be and there are times where she gets so agitated that she is literally squeezing it as hard as she can and digging her nails into it as she is so frustrated with it.
Her sex drive has now become nil. At the beginning of our relationship it was good but now non existant. She has said it is because she feels so ugly and hates her body.
I'm happy to wait and try to help her, but I don't think I can do enough. I tell her that she is beautiful to me, I tell her she is perfect even but I'm guessing she is just thinking "well you have to say that" kind of thing.
I really don't know what to do. It just seems like she will never change the way she feels about herself.
I've probably left loads out so feel free to ask anything, but does anyone have any advice on what I can do to help her? I hate seeing her like this.
Her counsellor has extended her sessions now to try and deal with her self esteem so at the moment all our hopes are pinned on that.
I'm not sure if this is in the right section, but I need some advice.
My girlfriend has been showing some anxiety and depression symptoms. She has had a bit of a rough childhood, a rocky relationship with her mum, and was given (forced to have) a lot of responsibility as a child.
Her mum showed her almost no affection, thought it was funny to 'pick on her' about her weight when she was growing up, and in a nutshell was just a bad mum.
My girlfriend is 18 now, and has been attending CBT to try and resolve some issues and this has worked well so far. She has been able to finally speak to her mum and express how she feels and basically ask for change. And so far, so good.
However, she still has almost zero self confidence and self esteem. She was overweight as a child and then lost a fair bit, now she is a size 12/14 and beautiful. However she still thinks she is fat, grossly fat to be honest.
It seems that when she lost a lot of weight the bit that remained was her belly, it overhangs a bit and to her it's a constant reminder of how she used to be and there are times where she gets so agitated that she is literally squeezing it as hard as she can and digging her nails into it as she is so frustrated with it.
Her sex drive has now become nil. At the beginning of our relationship it was good but now non existant. She has said it is because she feels so ugly and hates her body.
I'm happy to wait and try to help her, but I don't think I can do enough. I tell her that she is beautiful to me, I tell her she is perfect even but I'm guessing she is just thinking "well you have to say that" kind of thing.
I really don't know what to do. It just seems like she will never change the way she feels about herself.
I've probably left loads out so feel free to ask anything, but does anyone have any advice on what I can do to help her? I hate seeing her like this.
Her counsellor has extended her sessions now to try and deal with her self esteem so at the moment all our hopes are pinned on that.