Hi there

[suzymbates]

I've joined up as my husband has been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for 4 years now and things seem to be getting worse than ever.

I know the problem is down to running his own business, working long hours, doing physically demanding work day in and out. He is currently of setraline (is that correct 100mg). He's had every blood test going - which show up no irregularities but he still thinks he's going die from cancer/heart attack. Despite being on these tablets and being told by the doctor to stop smoking and cut down on alcohol he is still smoking during the day and drinks on ave about 4 tins of lager a night.

Over the period of 4 years he has seen a private counsellor and an NHS counsellor.

He will not pack the business in and go back to working for somebody else.

Tonight he has come home doing the usual exagerated breathing and grunting and clearing his throat. He has been pacing about the house in a state and has gone for a lie down - hence whilst I am on this website.

We have 2 young boys ages 7 and 2, I have suffered depression too and I am like him are sick of this.

I have done all I can over the past few years to help him and I know it is down to him.

Have made yet another appointment at the doctors for him on Thursday.

Feel as though everything is going round in circles and am getting more and wound up by the minute.

Susan
xx

susan

[chucklehound]

Hi Susan and welcome to NMP:D You will get lots of support here and make friends too.

I hope your husband starts to feel better soon

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[suzymbates]

Hi there Chuckle - nice to meet you.

I wish I could wave a magic wand.

Susan
xx

susan

[polly daydream]

Hi Susan, and welcome to the forum. Sorry to here that you are going through a bad time at the mo, I'm no doctor or anything but it sounds to me that your husband is suffering from stress = anxiety, why will he not give up the business if it is causing his health to suffer? perhaps you both need to sit down together and weigh up the pros and cons. My partner and I had similar problems two years ago whilst running our business, we decided it was'nt worth putting our health at risk and now my partner is back working for someone else again and is ten times happier. Is it pride with your husband? if so it really is'nt worth it.

Best wishes,

Polly

[chucklehound]

Don't we all hun?:D
It will get easier for your husband soon I hope

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[suzymbates]

Hi
Pretty sure it's pride. We've had numerous chats and rows over the years, me threatening to leave etc. He said he'd sooner go on the Dole than work for anybody else - pretty immature/proud statement.

I can understand he likes his work, is very good at what he does as his company's work is of a high standard. He cannot understand why he gets like this as he reckons he is not stressed.

I am pretty sure there are very few people running their own business who are not stressed.

Thinking of hypnotherapy next as this is one thing he hasn't tried.

I think he takes after his mother as she is one of those people who cannot sit still for more than 5 minutes and has to be doing something. He just can't relax.

I would do anything to sort this out - if only for the boys.

Susan
xx

susan

[polly daydream]

Well I hope that you both eventually sort it out, keep your chin up.

Polly

[giddy]

Hi Susan and welcome to the forum
Love Helen

[suzymbates]

Hi Helen (Giddy)

Thanks for the welcome.

Susan
xx

susan

[Daisybun]

Hi Susan and welcome. You'll find lots of help and support her. Keep us posted about how it goes at the doctor's on Thursday.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[hayles]

Hi Suz,

Welcome to the Forum.
Have you thought about showing your husband this website.
It did a real ggod job of reassuring me that i was not alone, maybe it will be just what he needs?

Maybe you should show it to him - Good luck

xx

Hay x

[trac67]

Hi Susan,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.
Have you shown the site to your husband, as there are some very good coping techinques on here. Below are the links to some of them:

Strategies for coping (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2680)
Some of my symptoms and explinations. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4495)
very strange panic attack symptoms (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5071)
Actute Anxiety,given ZISPIN ???? HELP (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6054)
bowels (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6941)
Since the dentist (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6924)
You can overcome this! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7017)
What to Say when you Talk to Yourself! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6478)
THE FINAL STEP TO RECOVERY (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7120)

Hope they are of some help.

Take care
Trac xx


'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[suzymbates]

Thank you all for your kind words, help and welcomes. I think this site will be be a regular one for me.

Susan
xxx

susan

[PUGLETMUM]

hello susan, also wlecome. does your husband do any sports? as i am the sufferer in my family and i find that it helps with relaxing, you'd think it was opposite that you would have to lie down and do deep breathing etc - but when you've got alot of tension inside doing an hour of hard aerobic exercise can totally calm you down. just a thought, it HAS helped me, good luck and you will get reasurance that your not alone here, emmas

[jackie]

suzy would he consider coming on here himself as i know it would help

also has he ever read a book called " self help for your nerves " by claire weekes . a classic book second to none in my eyes and would really explain alot to both you and him

so good you care

jackie

[suzymbates]

Hi

Emmas - no he doesn't have any interest in exercise. He used to go the gym once a week until 3 yrs ago then he described it as a chore. He does like swimming - but uses the old chestnut about there not being enough hrs in the day or he's too tired.

Jackie - will try and persuade him to come on this site. I have just ordered that book by Claire Weekes - as anything is worth a try.

Thank you all once again.

Susan
xx

susan

[PUGLETMUM]

hi susan, i totally understand about him thinking he's too tired to go swimming, now i don't know how hard it is to own your own business so i won't go there!
but anxiety actually drains you of any real energy, the energy you've got is all adrenaline driven and has nothing to do with real energy where we are working and relaxing and exercising - when you have a good balance.

swimming is brilliant, i love it, and if he can do it (coz lots can't swim or not all that good at it) it's so relaxing and also gets rid of the adrenaline, which by the way causes fatigue.

i so understand his inability to get himself going if he's tired, but i can promise he will feel better.

can he go at weekend? emmas

[suzymbates]

Hi Emmas

Will mention swimming again. I know we are supposed to be going out for the day on Sunday - so hope he doesn't get too worked up about it.

Things have got to change before he has a real breakdown. Don't mean to be negative - but it's constantly on my mind.

Thanks for your support.

Susan
xx

susan

[nomorepanic]

Hi Susan

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here. Hope we can be of some help to your husband.

There are loads of great people on here and you will get all the support you need.

Nicola

[suzymbates]

Hi folks

Just letting you know that he did go to the Docs and saw the lady who sorted me out last year, but alas I think he expected her to wave a magic wand and sort it out. She listened, asked him about counselling - which he's already had, and prescribed him more tablets and gave him a mental health questionnaire to complete about how he feels over the next fortnight.

I have bought that book by the Australian lady that somebody recommended on a previous thread for him. I've been reading it and it's very interesting - just got to get him to read it. Oh and I got a free stress pig through the post today for him to squeeze when he feels anxious.

The past couple of days I have not noticed him have any funny moments when he's come home, but I live on edge waiting for the next event or moment.

Thanks for your kind words all - much appreciated.

Susan
xxxx

susan