A re-introduction

[Grumpy_guts]

Hi all,

I've posted here in the past but that was ages ago and my life and issues have moved on since then, so I though I'd re-introduce myself!

I'm a 35 year old web developer living in Hampshire with my gf.

I've suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for about 12 years now. I have health anxiety, mainly focusing on my heart and the possibility of having a heart attack.

I have some specific phobias, namely flying, dentists and vomiting. I also have a general traveling anxiety; I'm not good on trains, won't go near a plane and unfortunately, after being in a bad car accident just after Xmas, I now have problems with being a passenger in a car. Funnily enough, I don't have any issues with buses... Sometimes, I also suffer from depression too.

The only thing that really helps with the anxiety is Diazepam. I don't take many as I know how addictive they are and I'm paranoid about them reacting with alcohol if I do have a drink.

That said, I drink very little these days. Anything more that 3-4 pints will result in a panic attack in the middle of the night and my hangovers are unbearable these days. I still like a pint on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and I'll have 2-3 beers on a Friday or Saturday night but that's about it.

I've taken Paroxetine and Citalopram in the past. I took the Paroxetine ages ago and stopped as I thought I'd got better. I've taken Citalopram twice, once a long time ago and then again about 18 months ago. The second time, I only managed 10 days as the side effects were much worse than the first time I took them and I developed a horrible intolerance to even the smallest amount of alcohol.

I've had CBT a few times, most recently for about 10 sessions. I found it helpful for understanding my anxiety but not particularly useful for "curing" it.

I have a lot of problems with my stomach. I suffer from:


Heartburn
Indigestion
Stomach pains
Frequently urinating
Frequently passing stools (sometimes 5-6 times a day)
Loose stools
Rumbling stomach and gas
Bloating if I eat too much
Nausea + dizziness / light headedness.
Sharp pains in the rectum

I've had 2 endoscopes and have tried various acid suppressing medications, all to no avail.

I do however, have a hiatus hernia and the last endoscope only revealed gastritis.

I've recently starting losing weight unexpectedly although it could be because I've cut right back on the booze and don't eat as much as I used to. Large meals make me feel bloated and when I'm feeling nauseous, I don't really want to eat.

About 50% of mornings, I wake up feeling "rough". By that I mean I have headaches, little energy, a fuzzy head, nausea and dizziness / light headedness and generally feel under the weather.

Things are getting progressively worse and I'm starting to get to the end of my tether. I've not been able to find a doctor that I can build any kind of rapport with although I've recently been prescribed with sertraline anti depressents and propanalol beta blockers. I haven't got my prescription yet as I'm worried about the side effects of the ADs and a re-occurance of the nasty reaction with alcohol.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here at No More Panic. I feel very isolated as my partner doesn't understand what I'm going through and she doesn't know what to say or do. I don't really have any friends to talk to so I guess I'm just looking to talk to people who are going through the same things that I am...

Cheers,
GG

[diane07]

Hi Grumpy_guts

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Pipkin]

Hi there and :welcome: back!

Pip x

[lindor]

you poor thing, you really are suffering with so many anxieties! I feel for you I really do. I see you have been prescribed anti depressants and had CBT, none of which worked for you. Never had CBT myself but Citalopram helped a lot. I do know someone though who was having panic attacks 24/7 and CBT helped her.

I know it's hard but I have been trying to train my mind to think more positive thoughts and not dwell on the bad stuff. It really helps if you can focus on things that make you happy or brighten your day (there must be SOMETHING!). The more I think positively the more my panics fade.
Everything in our lives can trigger panic either at the time or months after. So something in your past has set you off on the road to this.
With me it was my son's death by suicide 6 yrs ago. I started getting terrible panicky guilty thoughts of eventsw going back 30 yrs. But I heard that this is what panic and depression does to you. It brings horrible thoughts out of the woodwork. It is trying to STOP those thoughts andn focus on other things that is the key.

[Grumpy_guts]

Thanks for the welcomes and thank you, Lindor for the kind words.

I think the shear volume of issues I have makes it very difficult to know where to start. My stomach problems are what's getting me down the most at the moment. They've been very bad for the last 3 days and there just seems to be no end.

No doctor seems to be able to help or make any kind of proper diagnosis and I feel like I've just been left to fend for myself.

I'm going to try the Sertraline but I'm very anxious about taking them which is just feeding back in to health anxiety and panic attacks.

Feeling very low at the moment :(

[william wallace]

Hiya Grumpyguts and:welcome:

Sertraline aint so bad, best to start low though:winks:

[Lainie1]

Hello Grumpy-guts,

You are having a rough time at the moment but being able to share your feelings on here will help I'm sure, you will definately get lots of support.

Many of the symptoms you are experiencing come from being anxious.

I was diagnosed with IBS and gastritis a few years ago and really feel for you as I know from experience that anxiety and stress makes these things far, far worse.

Keep in touch and let us know how things are going for you.

Lainie :)