richtaz33
12-03-12, 07:21
hi, Really had enough now with this consant battle with this and everything that goes with it. The automatic thoughts is the biggest killer which sucks me down, and the constant variations of how to stop them nothing seems to work. 2 years ago after being on one medication for 5 years i had to change because it had stopped working. For the last 2 years i have been depressed and been constantly changing drugs. I have 24/7 the thought and feeling that i dont love my fiancee anymore and that at the same time depresses and makes me sad. when i do the cbt about it it makes no difference, when i try to ignore them it makes no difference, i have tried all sorts and nothing. I am really fed up with just generaly feeling low and depressed and everything that goes with it. I dont care about my family and i have lost interest in my work and everything in general. last year for two months i had really good feelings etc i was back to normal had feelings for my fiancee and everything etc it was me again. Then it disapeared i think stress from work etc did it. anyway change of drug again recently and i am waiting for this nightmare to go away if it will. I am convinced but upset as well i dont love my fiancee any more, i keep jumping to the wrong assumptions over everything. i constantly feel like a grey cloud over my head and the thoughts are constantly niggling in the back ground just waiting to jump in when i am off guard or something. I have no feelings for anyone my family etc. I just dont care about anyone or anything but my fiancee issue is promenant and bothers me and upsets me at the same time. I hug i dont feel it, i kiss i dont feel it, i smile and dont feel it, i laugh dont feel it, I cry and feel sad.
If anyone is or has had the same experience and has got out and come out the other side especially with there other half like me. then please tell me and how did you do it etc. because this is killing me every day its like tourcher. And i dont want to break up in case its the wrong thing. we have broken up before over stupid things and it completly destroyed me i was so distraught i took time off work and didnt eat for days so there must be something burried inside me surely? Please help many thanks.
If anyone is or has had the same experience and has got out and come out the other side especially with there other half like me. then please tell me and how did you do it etc. because this is killing me every day its like tourcher. And i dont want to break up in case its the wrong thing. we have broken up before over stupid things and it completly destroyed me i was so distraught i took time off work and didnt eat for days so there must be something burried inside me surely? Please help many thanks.