Connor_cbt
12-03-12, 12:37
I've had a bit of experience with therapy (albeit a while ago now) and i'm
studying to be a counsellor myself so i thought, after reading through many
posts that seemed confused or disappointed in their their therapy experience,
it would be a good idea to write a post about what you can expect from
talking therapy.
Q: Does therapy work?
A: Putting it simply, the answer is yes. Every day therapists are helping
people come to terms with personal difficulties, relationship problems,
anxiety disorders, bereavement etc and in the majority of cases it works.
There are times when therapy wont work but that usually depends on other
factors for example, therapy can only work by consent so you cant force
someone to participate if they do not wish to, so therapy does require
consistant participation from the person seeking help (helpee) and the helpee
must have some trust in the therapeutic method for it to be truly effective.
Q: What do i look for in a therapist?
A: In the UK at this time there is NO regulation for counsellors so people do
need to beware a little of unqualified cowboy therapists. Counsellors on the
NHS should be well vetted and accredited but if you are looking for a private
therapist, look for BACP or BABCP accreditation initially and if you can get a
personal recommendation from friends or family that's great but always
make sure they have accreditation as well.
Q: Will i like my therapist?
A: Not always, like any other human being in the world some you will
connect with some easier than others, also therapists each can have differing
styles in the way they practice, they may prefer humanistic, gestalt, REBT
(behavioural therapy) amongst others and this may colour your relationship
as well. It is down to the person seeking help to decide if they can persist
and try to develop a relationship or to seek an alternative therapist.
Q: My therapist didn't fix anything, in fact i came out feeling worse than i did
when i went in!
A: A therapists primary role is to listen and to understand not to instruct
people how to live their lives. Much of the time when a person feels as
though they have really been heard they can unravel the unhelpful thoughts
from the healthy ones and start to see the solution to their own problems. If
not then therapists might prod you in the right direction a little but essentially
they are there to help guide you on a path that only you yourself can really
walk.
Whilst in therapy, aside from the anxiety of going in the first place the helpee
can sometimes confront some very horrible thoughts and memories and after
a session can feel a little low or exhausted, this is perfectly understandable
and part of the healing process and will improve over time.
Q: I dont feel that i got anything out of my therapy session, do i have a bad
therapist?
A: Not necessarily, Therapy has a cumulative effect the more sessions you
go to and the more effort you put in outside of the therapists office the
greater the effects will be. Therapists have studied human psychology and
are very good at understanding peoples thoughts and behaviour but they are
not psychic. The therapist can only work with what you give them, and initial
appointments are about reaching an in depth understanding of one another,
remember, they only have a relatively tiny amount of time to get to
understand your innermost thoughts and how you relate to them and
ultimately this can only be done at a pace the helpee dictates.
as a ROUGH guide 30% of your time with a counsellor should be spent
getting to know each other and exploring the difficulties, 50% on developing
an understanding of the cause and nature of the problem and 20% on
planning a course of action to help overcome the problem(s)
The key thing to any talking therapy is communication, for your therapist to
be most effective the helpee mut give enough information for the therapist to
fully grasp the problem and if the helpee feels that they are not satisfied, it
is ok to ask the therapist to explain the process to you and clarify what is
happening and if you still feel unsatisfied then you can ask for a different
therapist, I did that with the NHS so it shouldn't matter if you are private of
NHS treated
This is my understanding of the situation at least. If there is anything you
would like to add or correct please message me and I will edit it :)
Kind regards,
studying to be a counsellor myself so i thought, after reading through many
posts that seemed confused or disappointed in their their therapy experience,
it would be a good idea to write a post about what you can expect from
talking therapy.
Q: Does therapy work?
A: Putting it simply, the answer is yes. Every day therapists are helping
people come to terms with personal difficulties, relationship problems,
anxiety disorders, bereavement etc and in the majority of cases it works.
There are times when therapy wont work but that usually depends on other
factors for example, therapy can only work by consent so you cant force
someone to participate if they do not wish to, so therapy does require
consistant participation from the person seeking help (helpee) and the helpee
must have some trust in the therapeutic method for it to be truly effective.
Q: What do i look for in a therapist?
A: In the UK at this time there is NO regulation for counsellors so people do
need to beware a little of unqualified cowboy therapists. Counsellors on the
NHS should be well vetted and accredited but if you are looking for a private
therapist, look for BACP or BABCP accreditation initially and if you can get a
personal recommendation from friends or family that's great but always
make sure they have accreditation as well.
Q: Will i like my therapist?
A: Not always, like any other human being in the world some you will
connect with some easier than others, also therapists each can have differing
styles in the way they practice, they may prefer humanistic, gestalt, REBT
(behavioural therapy) amongst others and this may colour your relationship
as well. It is down to the person seeking help to decide if they can persist
and try to develop a relationship or to seek an alternative therapist.
Q: My therapist didn't fix anything, in fact i came out feeling worse than i did
when i went in!
A: A therapists primary role is to listen and to understand not to instruct
people how to live their lives. Much of the time when a person feels as
though they have really been heard they can unravel the unhelpful thoughts
from the healthy ones and start to see the solution to their own problems. If
not then therapists might prod you in the right direction a little but essentially
they are there to help guide you on a path that only you yourself can really
walk.
Whilst in therapy, aside from the anxiety of going in the first place the helpee
can sometimes confront some very horrible thoughts and memories and after
a session can feel a little low or exhausted, this is perfectly understandable
and part of the healing process and will improve over time.
Q: I dont feel that i got anything out of my therapy session, do i have a bad
therapist?
A: Not necessarily, Therapy has a cumulative effect the more sessions you
go to and the more effort you put in outside of the therapists office the
greater the effects will be. Therapists have studied human psychology and
are very good at understanding peoples thoughts and behaviour but they are
not psychic. The therapist can only work with what you give them, and initial
appointments are about reaching an in depth understanding of one another,
remember, they only have a relatively tiny amount of time to get to
understand your innermost thoughts and how you relate to them and
ultimately this can only be done at a pace the helpee dictates.
as a ROUGH guide 30% of your time with a counsellor should be spent
getting to know each other and exploring the difficulties, 50% on developing
an understanding of the cause and nature of the problem and 20% on
planning a course of action to help overcome the problem(s)
The key thing to any talking therapy is communication, for your therapist to
be most effective the helpee mut give enough information for the therapist to
fully grasp the problem and if the helpee feels that they are not satisfied, it
is ok to ask the therapist to explain the process to you and clarify what is
happening and if you still feel unsatisfied then you can ask for a different
therapist, I did that with the NHS so it shouldn't matter if you are private of
NHS treated
This is my understanding of the situation at least. If there is anything you
would like to add or correct please message me and I will edit it :)
Kind regards,