New to site

[Mary Kate]

Hey everyone, just thought I'd say hello. I'm new to this site and having had bouts of depression and panic attacks in the past which I thought I'd got over, I find myself slipping back down the road to hell!
I have had a pretty intense year and a half and thought that I was coping well when suddenly out of the blue I started having panic attacks,which have not been helped by my asthma. Last week the doctor prescribed Citalopram which I found terrible. I suffered severe panic attacks,sweating,nausea and the "shakes" so now she has put me back on good old Prozac ( fluoxetine). I am really upset that I have come back to this state but not surprised. The doctor has given me a line for work however Im reluctant to use it as I joined this company after I got on my feet from my last bout of ill health and wanted to keep a clean slate and start afresh, no-one knows about my previous health problems and I want to keep it like that. I'm hoping that I won't get such severe side affects from Prozac and be able to function at work. Look forward to being able to pick up tips and advice from fellow sufferers. Xxx

[diane07]

Hi Mary Kate

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[ShazyA]

Hi Mary Kate :welcome:..... Dont be too hard on yourself for your recent relapse, use the fact that you have beaten it once to help you get back on your feet again. Be proud of yourself and dont dwell on the fact that you have hit a bad patch.
continuing work is admirable but dont push yourself too hard, if you feel you need some time away to recover then take it, theres no reason why your work collegues would know why you are off.

[Mary Kate]

Thanks for the welcome.! I'm sitting here wondering if I should call work and say I'm coming in tomorrow or I've got a weeks line ?? Part of me doesn't want to get the " fear " of going to work as this happened before and I took considerable time off which eventually led to me leaving as I couldn't face going back. This time I have been at this job for 3 years and give the impression that I am capable and reliable, I'm in line for promotion so don't want to jepordise my future. I was off for 3 weeks when my mum died and 2 weeks after a neck op and everyone said wow how well I was coping. Sometimes I think I coped too well! This is probably what has led to this blip! So do I give in or plod on ?? This decision is just adding to my anxiety. I'm trying to use every method I learned at CBT to get through it but it's difficult. Xx

[ShazyA]

If you can plod on and go to work then I think that is the route I would take, simply because I know only too well how easy it is to start avoiding places/situations through fear of going down the "same old road". But obviously it is your choice as only you know how you are feeling and if you can cope with work.
I think you are right you probably did "cope too well' and maybe didnt grieve properly and/or recover from your surgery mentaly.
You seem to be taking all the right steps, using CBT techniques ect. I think the fear of going back to square one is a major issue and may be escalating your anxiety, be proud of how far you ahve come and hopefully this is just a wee blip.
If I could take my own advice Id be sorted lol. Not that easy though.

[Mary Kate]

Yeah it would great if we could listen to ourselves! I can talk to anyone and give good advice but never seem to apply it to myself!
The drive to work is as much an issue as the work itself, I had a really bad panic attack on the way home one night and had to pull over on the dual carriageway. I wasn't sure if it was an asthma attack or a panic attack, think one may have triggered the other. Ever since its taken me every ounce of my resolve to get through the journey. I'm a bit of a mess right now,huh?! However I have decided to attempt to go in tomorrow,I might wake up feeling different but at the moment I feel if I don't go it'll only make me worse. I will beat myself up and feel guilty about letting the team down and that will lead to me feeling depressed and worthless so I'm going to give myself a pep talk and try and work through this. Here's hoping! I'll let you know if I manage it. Fingers crossed x

[ShazyA]

Lol oh I can give myself a good talking to also, and a telling off too. will keep everything crossed for you and do let me know how you get on.
Its easy to get into a rut, I had a huge panic attack in a supermarket 2 years ago and havent been anywere near since, I wish I had taken the bull by the horns and gone back sooner as the longer Iv left it the more difficult is has been.
How about you try the journey tomorrow and I will try the super market?? Maybe a little healthy competiton will give us an extra push. ( I must be feeling brave at the moment hahahah)

[Mary Kate]

Lol ShazyA sounds like a plan! Supermarkets can be quite overwhelming,all the noise and busyness and don't get me started on self scan checkouts! Take it easy, good luck xxx

[william wallace]

Mary Kate, from another Scot:welcome:

[Pipkin]

Hi there and a big, warm :welcome:

I know you'll find lots of people here who share your experiences and that you'll also be able to give a lot to others.

Take care and keep posting

Pip xx

[Mary Kate]

Hi everyone ! I did it !! Yes I made it in to work and got through the day. Felt a bit shaky a few times and the drive home was a bit nervy but I did it ! Everyday is a battle but I'm going to win. It took all my CBT practises to get me through.
Hope everyone else has had not too bad a day. :yesyes: