My world is uside down

[donatella]

Hi Guys

I come from the most dysfunctional background imginable and you name it I've been there. I had always prided myself on being able to bounce back, yet last year when I moved away to uni as a mature student the anxiety and panic attacks started and haven't stopped.

I feel like my life is upside down, and is dictated by, "am i going to get scared today". I just feel like I wasted a good portion of my life and feel guilty for two things in my life. I feel like I don't have the right to enjoy myself anymore, and any time I come close to doing so, I get guilty and think God will pay me back for being a prat. I left uni quickly and have cocooned myself in my flat. I don't have any friends, don't see my family and keep my head down when i'm out. I hate myself and feel ashamed.

Before Christmas, my doctor referred me to a cpn but inspite of me telling her how bad i feel, she just told me to be positive. All I want to do is get on with my life, without being afraid of my own shadow anymore.

[Jo]

Hi Donatella - my anxiety/panic started as a result of university too! Just want to say...you are really not alone, the majority of us here have and still do experience similar feelings.

I think you really need to visit your local G.P again Donatella, just tell him/her what you have told us. Are you on medications?

Keep posting your feelings Donatella...you are not alone, trust me!!

Jo xx

[Meg]

Hi Donatella,

You are certainly not alone

Have you read First Steps yet on either the home pages to this site or in the introduction section.


Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[donatella]

sorry me again...was started on beta blockers not sure how it's going ...the doctor in the hospital listened and it helped. keepin it brief today as i am still wacked out

thanks to everyone, good luck, speak to you soon

[Meg]

Hi ,
Glad you've got some help both in betablocker and by seeing some one at a hospital - did your GP refer you ?

Hope you get some rest . Hear from you soon.





Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[stimpy]

Same old same old, isn't it mate.

Everytime I told some one how ill I felt all I ever heard was "Be Positive!"
It got to the stage where I just wanted to smack them in the mouth - lol

It is hard to be positive when you feel as if your whole life has been taken away from you and you feel ashamed and full of self loathing.

I had a chat to my husband this afternoon about the way I felt.
I felt as if I wasn't here anymore. Here was someone in my place, who looked like me, talked liked me, but was just an empty shell.
I had done something terrible, and I was being punished for it, but at the same time, I had no idea what it was I had done to deserve something this terrible.

Try to forget about the positive, just for the time being, as that will return when it is ready. Just concentrate on getting well.
Do little things everyday. Wash the dishes, clean the floor and take it from there.

Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.


Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[donatella]

Hi guys, I actually went to the hospital as I got a sudden migraine and felt unwell. They measured my blood pressure which was high and because of medical history and my family's, said I may be having a brain haemorrage ( I can't spell). Anyway, during the night I was given painkillers and got my CT scan the following morning. Thankfully everything was normal inspite of the fact I was very suprised to discover I actually had a brain. The doctor came to see me and we only talked about my evil headaches and that I was worried I'd get sick like one of my parents. This doctor was so lovely, he went through my notes and said it would be a good idea to start me on betablockers to control migraines. This would also drop my blood pressure and lower my pulse.

It was a big relief as this is part of my anxiety as I watched my mom have a stroke in front of me...blah blah, anyhow, I went to bed that night when I got out of hospital and slept the entire night!

Yes I am still anxious, but if my health settles, I think it will make a big difference to me, like a weight is coming off my shoulders. I think it will all take a while. I went to the shops today but had to come home because I was shaking.

Will it settle and will I have ever have a normal life again?

Guys thanks for your support because I have no-one else to turn to.

see ya

[imported_n/a]

HI THERE KARIN,,HEY when i first started having panic and anxiety i also hid myself away and avoided the places ,,situatios where i had ,,had them,,big mistake i made myself agraphobic ,,so please dont shut yourself away from other people,,since i found this site only 1 month ago i have made so many wonderful friends ,,and i have so much support here and also i try to give support,,so please feel more than welcome to mail me anytime you want to chat ok,,chin up karin okxxxxx darrenxx

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""