miniholly
14-03-12, 17:34
Hi everyone,
I'm on Citalopram 20mg atm and have been for almost 2 months.
They worked fine at first but now I'm finding it incredibly hard to cope again, I was originally put on them for Health Anxiety as I was finding it very hard to cope and gave up trying to fight it without any help.
I was doing great and enjoying everything I loved doing again, but the past week or so its really hit me again and its hit me the worst its been in a long time, to the point where I'm googling how much citalopram it would take to kill me. I don't think I would ever commit suicide as I'm too cowardly but I can't help but feel I have absolutely no purpose in life.
Me and my Mum are getting thrown out of our house soon as the landlady put the house on the market and my mum can't afford to move anywhere else at the minute, I'm just in general feeling very low and I'm having to save up £200 for my make-up course in September, I find it very hard to save up money and it really does annoy me, but I hate not spending it because I love treating myself and other people and its starting to stress me out.
I then have to get my qualifications for Maths and English for when I start college and I'm just so nervous about that.
I haven't been sleeping right either of late and my doctor has given me a few days worth of sleeping tablets to get me on track.
Today I found out my boyfriend of 2 and a half years might be moving away and I just feel like s**t about it. I can't say anything because I want him to be happy but I'm so miserable I don't think I can do anything without him.
I recently cut ties with my best friend as she was treating me awful, I was always a last resort to her so I had to cut ties and I felt better for it, but at the same time I have no friends. My boyfriend works full time and I see him once a week, most of my time is spent at home if I'm not at college. I have friends at college but they're leaving soon as they've finished everything they need to do, I feel so lonely.
Another thing thats bothering me is the fact people keep saying I look about 12 - 14 years old. I'm 18 and it really bothers me and it kills my self esteem levels and does make me feel very low, I know it might be considered a good thing when I grow older lol, but at the minute I want to look my age and not be compared to a child. I have slight Body Dysmorphic Disorder too and it sometimes triggers it off, I know people don't know that but I just wish they'd shut up and say something nice instead of making me feel like crap by saying I look 12! I know it sounds like nothing but it really does bother me.
I don't really have any questions, just a rant really :\ Thank you if you read I know its very lengthy lol xo
I'm on Citalopram 20mg atm and have been for almost 2 months.
They worked fine at first but now I'm finding it incredibly hard to cope again, I was originally put on them for Health Anxiety as I was finding it very hard to cope and gave up trying to fight it without any help.
I was doing great and enjoying everything I loved doing again, but the past week or so its really hit me again and its hit me the worst its been in a long time, to the point where I'm googling how much citalopram it would take to kill me. I don't think I would ever commit suicide as I'm too cowardly but I can't help but feel I have absolutely no purpose in life.
Me and my Mum are getting thrown out of our house soon as the landlady put the house on the market and my mum can't afford to move anywhere else at the minute, I'm just in general feeling very low and I'm having to save up £200 for my make-up course in September, I find it very hard to save up money and it really does annoy me, but I hate not spending it because I love treating myself and other people and its starting to stress me out.
I then have to get my qualifications for Maths and English for when I start college and I'm just so nervous about that.
I haven't been sleeping right either of late and my doctor has given me a few days worth of sleeping tablets to get me on track.
Today I found out my boyfriend of 2 and a half years might be moving away and I just feel like s**t about it. I can't say anything because I want him to be happy but I'm so miserable I don't think I can do anything without him.
I recently cut ties with my best friend as she was treating me awful, I was always a last resort to her so I had to cut ties and I felt better for it, but at the same time I have no friends. My boyfriend works full time and I see him once a week, most of my time is spent at home if I'm not at college. I have friends at college but they're leaving soon as they've finished everything they need to do, I feel so lonely.
Another thing thats bothering me is the fact people keep saying I look about 12 - 14 years old. I'm 18 and it really bothers me and it kills my self esteem levels and does make me feel very low, I know it might be considered a good thing when I grow older lol, but at the minute I want to look my age and not be compared to a child. I have slight Body Dysmorphic Disorder too and it sometimes triggers it off, I know people don't know that but I just wish they'd shut up and say something nice instead of making me feel like crap by saying I look 12! I know it sounds like nothing but it really does bother me.
I don't really have any questions, just a rant really :\ Thank you if you read I know its very lengthy lol xo