lost it this morning :(

[pearl79]

Woke this morning in complete panic... its a shame cuz i thought i was doing really well and had a few really good nights.
I feel so scared and all over the place, head filled with dread and doom.. i will always worry but i really had managed to stop the freaking out, but here i am back to square one... So making a docs appointment for this morning to off load troubles...
I tell everyone on here, to trust the docs, dont worry, let the docs worry.. but i cant do it myself. well i forced myself to forget and it worked for a while, but i just cant keep it up, its exhausting..
These last 3 days ive suffered really bad with ibs, dont normally suffer this bad, my tummy filled up like a balloon and (TMI) my gas is awfull..
Also i just cannot get the blood in my wee out of my head cuz i dont know where its coming from. The only thing that makes me feel better is that its so minute.
Ive still got on going lower back ache, its like my lower muscles are really tight but really hurt when i bend or twist (everyday, some are better than other s tho)
Ive also got this horrible on going cough, my throat is so dry and makes me gag.. just hoping its a virus going round but it is lingering a lot.

Well ive off loaded my worries....

What an awful day :(

[crystal17]

Oh Pearl thinking of you :hugs: There's always going to be setbacks, just try to look after yourself if you can and hope you get on ok at docs.

[pearl79]

cant get docs appt til tomorrow ... great:weep:

---------- Post added at 10:12 ---------- Previous post was at 09:53 ----------

oh god, i did a wee stick that showed large amount of white cells and one plus of blood :( oh great :( have done another since and was all clear, except 2 tiny micrscopic dots of green on the blood square...
Dont get it x

[macc noodle]

For goodness sake Pearl - these wee sticks are just making you more anxious - just stop using them please.

If you have to do it - just once a day - I simply do not understand why a doctor has given you these if they know you suffer HA - they are just feeding your fear - it is inexcusable.

Please do not waste your life thinking you have something wrong with you and then you will wake up one day and, surprise surprise, you will have something wrong with you - look at me !!!! Although what I have is not the end of the world it is still something real and tangible that I have to deal with instead of imagining that I have an illness.

Not wishing to be harsh but your posts are consistently along the same theme and your doctors just do not seem to be helping you address your HA which is clearly out of control and I feel so sorry for you and just wish that they would give you some help instead of a pack of wee sticks with which to scare yourself with even more.

Hope you are feeling better than this morning.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jaynehal]

Hi pearl
Oh hope you have a better day tomorrow, I started out having a good day now feel depressed again, you really need to throw them sticks away, they make you worse and keep the circle of anxiety going I'm sure your fine is there anything what makes you feel better or good about yourself?
Love
Jayne xx