Please tell me I am not alone!

[short-stuff]

Hi all.

I'm a 31 year old male. I've had anxiety, low self esteem which leads to stress and depression for a long time now.

It's mainly work related - I'm fine in social situations, stuff like that. It's usually down to responsibility, stuff I don't know, tasks I'm unsure of - I fall to pieces, think about it constantly which then leads to me thinking about bad stuff, like the past, bad experiences, things like that.

On the outside I'm fairly confident. I'm going to be best man 3 times, I love a laugh. But on the inside I'm a mess. I recently was seeing a girl that made me feel great - when I jumped in too quickly and realised it wasn't going to happen I got the common feeling of rejection which brought on a lot of anxiety which has affected everything this last couple of months.

I wake up a zombie, not myself, cloudy head - sometimes I can go a day at work and not remember anything I've done by the evening. I'm hardly successful, living at a parents due to lack of money and splitting with my ex late last year.

I've always tried to avoid responsibility, challenges etc - all that scares me - though I do have it inside me, I know there is a great guy that could be a successful if I just slowed down, took my time, woke up, be positive - I just find it very difficult.

I think that talking about it with like minded people will help. I'm also going for hypnotherapy tomorrow - I think that'll really help.

Looking forward to meeting new people!

Short stuff

[diane07]

Hi short-stuff

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Veronica H]

:welcome:to NMP. Glad that you have found us.

Vx

[Patrick Michael]

Welcxome short stuff.

Going through so e similar unpleasantness at the moment

Best to both of us

Patrick

[Pipkin]

Hi there and a big, warm :welcome:

I know you'll find lots of people here who share your experiences and that you'll also be able to give a lot to others.

Take care and keep posting

Pip x

[pinkdove]

:welcome: to nmp, i hope your session of hypnotherapy helps you, you are not alone here xx

[DellyRodge]

You are definatley not alone!! xx

[Tattooz]

All the best with your course of action and I really hopes it work were all in the same boat here and everyone seems really friendy on here your in the right place good luck mate:yesyes:

[aix123]

Hi Short Stuff,

I identify with a lot of what you're saying having experienced a lot of it myself. I'm also fine in most social situations, but I do have a generalised anxiety disorder - not all day, but most intensely in the mornings. I also have a panic disorder and while I do go out I often don't enjoy the experience, especially for the first few hours, or longer in fact.

I've had this for about 18 months (but now recognise certain experiences and incidents that lead up to it as panic and anxiety). I too relate my current situation to self-esteem. And I too have always shied away from taking on responsibilities.
I am still working on it, but it is difficult when one feels doing a job is virtually impossible. A big question-mark seems to hang over the future for me, despite being a positive person on the whole.

What I would say, is that don't punish yourself thinking you should be like this or like that. I know it is easy for me to say and I don't wish to sound like some Americans evangelist or whoever, but it is worth recognising the positive in who you are already, and that to say you could be 'successful' and could be a great guy, can be counter-productive. It is assessing yourself according to others' standards. I know you want to be different. I do too. All I'm saying is that it is not all black and white, and in many ways what has happened to you, how you feel, is there because you are likely to be a more sensitive person than many other people. No one wants to wake up a 'zombie' as you say (neither do I and believe me I have known what that is like). I am simply saying try to look at things another way: that you have positive aspects to your personality. I am not just saying this to attempt to make you feel happy (I wouldn't be so vain), and I am not denying that things could be better for you. I am only saying do not assess yourself too harshly. Who can wake up and decide to be positive, to change what we are completely. It is surely not possible. Maybe in small steps, which is better than expecting to wish a new version of you or I into existence.