Hi, i need your help.

[N206]

Hi,
im new to the board and i live in devon,came across it in my desperation for help.
I first started to get panic attacks when i was 14, just out of the blue. i coped on and off with it after having to leave school and working from home with tutor to do my gcses. During the summer after that i seemed to recover and returned in the sept to college. That was the best year ive had since all this started. I then got into a bad relationship aged 17/18, and all the panic and anxiety came back. i started staying at home all the time again,and lost appitite,causing me too loose weight.
Ive not been right since then,but i coped. i went onto ciprimil,and had a few counselling sessions. I was still suffering from odd panic attacks but i was still living my life, part time job and going out etc.
In January 2004 i decided to come off the medication. decided that i was still panicing and i didnt see it was doing alot so why take drugs for no reason. I had also just been made redundant from my parttime job-this was keeping me on board,as it was routine.
i was taking 10mg,then cut down to 5mg for a few days then stopped them dead. i know this is a really really bad way to stop and i should have weaned myself a bit better, but i just wanted off.i suffered terrible wihdrawl.
Ive now been off the tablets for 9weeks and its been the worst 9 weeks of my life. i feel like im never going to change and im stuck like this forever. Im panicing now just sitting in my house! i wake up in the night 2 or 3 times in a hot sweat and panicing. my stomach is constantly upset and i have no appitite. i dont want to eat in fear of it upsetting my tummy. im 5ft 5 and nearly down to 7stone, i look dreadful.
The thought of having to go out or to make an appointment sends me into an uncontrollable frenzy of rushed breathing sweating,dizziness,gagging as if i need to be sick, clenched fists and i cant cope with it any more. i find myself screaming out for help.
i went back to my dr and he gave me back my meds.. i took one,and it made me 10 times worse so i was scared to take any more.
i cut myself once at the very beginning of coming of meds, but im never doing that again.. i was trying to transfer the pain.
im trapped in my room most of the time and im so depandant on my mum. if she goes out my panic is worse.. i need her with me all the time for constant reassurance. i feel so stupid and pathetic relying on my mum still at 20 years old.
im just so scared im down a hole and i cant get out. some one please help??
:(:(

[Meg]

Hello N206 ,

Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time.

You can get better from this. It will not be an overnight cure and will take effort but it can be done.

Please visit the introduction section of this forum or the home pages and read First Steps .

We'll be here with you whilst you take those steps .

Good luck



Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[N206]

thanks for replying.
ive read it through,and i just dont know where to start!
where do you think would be the best place for me to start,what to concentrate on the most?
[:I]

Your stronger than you'll ever know,you control your own world.

[imported_n/a]

hey n206,,hope you are feeling a little better just for posting,,i did,,i have only been here 3 weeks myself and i never told anyone the way i was feeling and i am 33 ,since being here i have met so many wonderful poeple ,,you will certainatly find help here and your most welcome ,,please come in the chatroom you will make some great friends and never forget we are all in the same boat as you,,ok,,you will learn to relax here,so i do look forward to speaking to you in the chatroom okxxxchin up,,darrenxxx

[N206]

hi darren
thanks for the reassurance. ive got an appointment tomorrow for hypnotherapy. not sure if its going to work but im willing to try anything. i dont even know if im gona be calm enough to let it work!
when do people go into the chat room? ive tried twice today and i was the only one there,so turned it off!?

Your stronger than you'll ever know,you control your own world.

[Meg]

Hi N206

Look at the lifestyle style first . Eating/ drinking/ exercise / relaxation and start your journal Today.

Then move on bit by bit.



Meg

'There can only be true courage when first there is genuine fear'

Dr.David Livingstone

[mico]

Hi N

Welcome to the site, and do keep coming back, people here are very helpful.

Sounds like you've been having a rough time, like Meg said though you can get better, you just need to learn how. I agree with Meg about where you should start, Exercise is great for burning off excess adrenalin and I believe that relaxation of some kind is essential. As well as that, you should try to learn as much as you can, knowledge is power, learn about your anxiety and you will become better equipped to control it. If you have questions then don't hesitate to post them on the boards, like I said before people here are great and will always offer you support.

I don't usually use the chatroom much but I think everyone normally goes in there about 9pm.

mico

[Panikki]

Hi N206,
Dont worry you are not alone! I understand exactly what you are going through and am experiencing exactly the same thing at the moment!
I've came off meds recently (seroxat) but done a very slow withdrawal- for me this was no help the withdrawal symptoms were still horrid all the way through! I have now been completely off the meds for 2 months and i'm a wreack! Everything you have described i am suffering from too the only difference is your 20 and feel you have to depend on your mother still - i'm 36 and if i did'nt have my 17 yr old daughter at home with me at present i dont know how i'd cope! HOW SAD IS THAT!
I dont think that doctors appreciate that these new meds SSRI'S can create huge probs for some (not all)people when they come off them. The doc's like to believe in these new wonder drugs, which are helpful when taking them but create havoc when you stop! It's like diazipam scenario , years ago they were the best thing for anxiety and emotional probs and were given out like smarties it took a long time for the truth behind these pills and their withdrawal to come out, unfortunately i think the same will go for these latest drugs! If you look around on the net you will find that there are many people that find their problems worsen when they try coming off the meds maybe this is the time for you to get councelling (if you aint already)! Doc's will try to put you back on drugs, for some to go back on them and slowly withdraw can make things easier but dont invest all your hopes in this the drugs only mask our problems they dont cure us.
I hope things get better for you soon, take care , Jodie .

J Baker

[sal]

Hi N206

Sorry to see you are having such a rough time at the moment, but this site will really help you. I hope you were calm enough for your hypnotherapy and it has helped you. You will have to let me know how it went. Most people go into the chat room on an evening. So try again tonight. Take care.

Love Sal x

[victoria]

Hi N

As long as you remember you are never alone and there will always be someone to help you throught this. It feels so scary at the time but believe me somehow you just seem to deal with it and then it slowly gets better, i hope this does happen in your case i am sure it will. Keep thinking positive and don't let it beat you then it has won so stay strong and belive in yourself. I find meditating really good just for 5 minutes shuting of your mind. Hope this helps.

Love Victoria x

[sweetwater]

Yes Victoria- meditation is really helpful, i liked what you said..and to N - I relate to what you are going through, I never found any pill that could `fix' me, and they all indeed made me feel worse, or if one did work, it worked too well to the point where i became very spaced out and stop caring about everything except the drug and just wanting to prolong the feeling...and i believe that the reason why i never found anything that worked for me is because i never verbalised the core of my issues...i let them only see the surface layers, more the symptoms of the problem, rather than what is underneath them...and for that your mind makes you pay...because you are essetially placing a band-aid on an infected wound which needs an antibiotic to heal...i still believe that there is a definite place for antidepressants and anxiolytics, but if it is used to replace talking, and keeps you bottled up, then you have to really weigh it up...also, even if it is only one person who you can really talk to and bare your soul to, and know that they are there for you unconditionally, that's all you need...i believe Nicola sums it up very well somewhere in this site...and it was beautifully expressed...

[paniccomesandgoes]

Hi N206

Brings back some memories for me, cos your situation was like mine when I first started to have anxitey attacks. I spent most of my time in the house in bed with my Mum looking after me - god knows what would of happened if she hadn't been there! Hang on in there, you will get through it,and you'll probably be alot stronger for it too!

Take Care

Ish

[Jules31]

Hi N

How did the hypotherapy going. How are you doing generally. We all know how you feel.

Take care
Jules

[N206]

hi everyone!
not been hypnotised yet! the lady came to my house and we talked about what was going to happen,and how she can help me. im going on thursday. im a bit nervous.but she is really confident she can turn me around,and make me better!
ive not been too bad since tuesday.. the panic attacks have been very infrequent and ive been eating alot better too. Still not ventured to far,but i dont want to push it. i feel like ive got a little bit of control now..whereas 2 weeks ago i was just panicking because i was awake!
Lets see what thursday brings! i think the sunshines helping too.. get out in the garden and get some natural seratonin ;)
N x

Your stronger than you'll ever know,you control your own world.

[imported_n/a]

heey "n" mmm i tried hypnotism ,,this was at the height of my anxiety he came to my home cause i couldnt get there and he said i was too anxious to be hypnotised ,,and he did the E,F,T, with me that certainatly did help initially and now i feel as thou i dont want to try hypnotism ,,although so many people have said it has turned there world round for the better ,,i mean if these guys can stop you smoking which is a physical dependancy and more addictive than heroin then surely they can stop panic and anxiety???good luck for thursday mate ok you will have to let us know how it goes ok,,,P.S boy does the sun help gives you a real lift ,,chin up "N"xxxdarrenxx

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""

[seh1980]

Hello there!!

Welcome to the site! I'm pretty new here as well and it has made me feel better so I'm sure it will do the same for you.
I have been suffering from panic attacks for under a year and am on Cipralex. At first, I wasn't keen about taking medication either but then realised that I didn't really have much choice as there was no way I could cope without it. It's not nice having to depend on medication but most people who are on it don't realise how much it is helping them. I know that I couldn't go wothout it at the moment!! There's nothing wrong with needing to be on meds; some people are on it for life and that's ok if it makes them be happier. Maybe going back on it would be the best thing for you for a while and when you feel ready you could slowly start to come off it.
Most people log into the chat room at 9pm so join us there sometime!!
Take care.
Sarah (seh1980)

[me]

hello and welcome to the site, its wonderful, you will meet so many lovely people x have you had your hypnothreapy yet? when i first got the horrible panics i went it was really wierd but im sure it helped me,i hope it goes well for you too take care love from mary x

[N206]

hiya
well i made it to the hypnotherapists!
was a bit worked up when i got there.. but she made me relaxed and comfortable. i went with an open mind that i had nothing to loose.
It all went well and an hour later i left thinking about weather it had done anything.
today ive been shopping!!!! 1st time ive gone out on my own in ages!maybe its working. going again next week.. so il keep you posted!
n x

Your stronger than you'll ever know,you control your own world.

[sarah]

Hi there

Great news!!!! youve been shopping alone?? I bet you feel great about it dont you?
Im so pleased for you. Are you going to go to the hypnotherapists again?
keep up the good work and keep us posted on how you are doing..we love to hear good news :)

love sarah
xx


we arent mad, just the next stage of evolution :)