MissMagoo
19-03-12, 11:32
Morning all,
Well where to start....
I am 30 years old and have been suffering with anxiety for the first time in my life since mid-January, before then I had always been a tough-cookie and never had any issues coping with anything life threw at me.
Before Christmas a few major things happened in my life, my (Now-ex) partners brother died in October, he was 32 and went to A&E as he had a really high temperature and felt awful. 24 hours later he was dead.
The first week of January my Mum got rushed into hospital to have an emergency operation as she had a pelvic hernia and it had become strangulated.
2 weeks after that my (now-ex) partners father also died. He had terminal brain cancer, so although it was kind of expected it was still very sad.
Needless to say I was a tad stressed out, wasn't sleeping well, my (now ex) partner and I split up because we were just both so stressed out with everything that had happened. One morning I woke up for work as normal and felt a little funny, thought nothing of it and got in the shower, got out of the shower and was shaking, then within the space of 5 minutes I had a full-blown panic attack.
I had never had one before and was alone at home and thought I was having a heart attack or a really bad asthma attack, after not being able to get my breathing under control after several blasts on my salbutamol inhaler I called 999 and 5 minutes later the paramedics arrived. Buy this time I was convinced I was having both an asthma attack AND a heart attack. My muscles all went into spasm and my hands were all curled up and I couldn't move them. It was pretty terrifying!
The paramedics, put me on an ECG machine and told me that I was having a panic attack and that it would soon pass and that I needed to concentrate on breathing in and OUT - easy for him to say.
I didn't make it into work that day as I was exhausted after having the panic attack and rang and booked an appointment with the doctor for the Monday.
On Monday I went into work and as I was walking through the door I felt that same funny feeling, by the time I had made it up the 3 flights of stairs to my floor I was having another full blown panic attack. I went into my office and my boss came in saw the state of me and took me straight to my GP's surgery which was around the corner.
They saw me within minutes and once the attack had somewhat subsided I explained all the things that had been going on and he signed me off of work and prescribed me Diazepam to take (10mg three times daily) and arranged for me o see a CBT counsellor.
I went home and took the first one and slept for 15 hours straight, whether it was the exhaustion from such a prolonged panic attack or the Diazepam I don't know but I slept for England that day.
I went back to the Doctors the following Monday and explained that I wanted to go back to work, the Doctor advised that he didn't think that it was a good idea, signed me off for a further week, he took me off of the Diazepam as I felt like it was turning me into a sleep-crazed zombie. He switched me on to 20mg Citalopram and 10mg Amytriptyline to aid sleep.
I was told that it could take a while for the Citalopram to get into my system but the Amytriptyline would work pretty much straight away to make me sleep. I also started my counselling. My counsellor is really good and I am glad that I opened up to her as much as I did as I am not famed for "letting people in" I like to keep my private life very private and am not much of a talker when it comes to how I am. I am usually the person that people go to when they have a problem and I'm not so sure I like it the other way round. Nevertheless she is helping.
I had had approximately 15-20 panic attacks per week since that first one, some of them are awful and some I am able to get through quite quickly. The bit that bugs me is that sometimes they come on for just no apparent reason, the worst ones are the ones where I have a nightmare and then wake up and immediately start panicking, not a great way to start the day.
I have been back to the Doctor today and following me having 5 attacks in one day on Friday last week I have been given another tablet to take. 1mg Flupentixol. Apparently this will start to work within days and will take the edge off of my anxiety..... let's hope so!
Since January my life has completely changed. I am no longer the outgoing, confident, assertive person I used to be. I find that I am shying away more and more from social situations as I really don't want to have an attack in public, I am avoiding certain situations for fear of having a panic attack. I have gone back to work but they have taken all managerial responsibility off of me at the moment so I feel like a spare wheel at work, I am also having to train someone else up to do my job so that if I am off then someone else can take over, which then leads me to think they are trying to get rid of me, which makes me worry, which leads to an attack...... and the circle continues!
I just want my life back and have come here looking for inspiration, tips on how to cope when I do have an attack and how to deal with some of the side-effects I am getting from the various pills I am popping. :wacko:
Kate
Well where to start....
I am 30 years old and have been suffering with anxiety for the first time in my life since mid-January, before then I had always been a tough-cookie and never had any issues coping with anything life threw at me.
Before Christmas a few major things happened in my life, my (Now-ex) partners brother died in October, he was 32 and went to A&E as he had a really high temperature and felt awful. 24 hours later he was dead.
The first week of January my Mum got rushed into hospital to have an emergency operation as she had a pelvic hernia and it had become strangulated.
2 weeks after that my (now-ex) partners father also died. He had terminal brain cancer, so although it was kind of expected it was still very sad.
Needless to say I was a tad stressed out, wasn't sleeping well, my (now ex) partner and I split up because we were just both so stressed out with everything that had happened. One morning I woke up for work as normal and felt a little funny, thought nothing of it and got in the shower, got out of the shower and was shaking, then within the space of 5 minutes I had a full-blown panic attack.
I had never had one before and was alone at home and thought I was having a heart attack or a really bad asthma attack, after not being able to get my breathing under control after several blasts on my salbutamol inhaler I called 999 and 5 minutes later the paramedics arrived. Buy this time I was convinced I was having both an asthma attack AND a heart attack. My muscles all went into spasm and my hands were all curled up and I couldn't move them. It was pretty terrifying!
The paramedics, put me on an ECG machine and told me that I was having a panic attack and that it would soon pass and that I needed to concentrate on breathing in and OUT - easy for him to say.
I didn't make it into work that day as I was exhausted after having the panic attack and rang and booked an appointment with the doctor for the Monday.
On Monday I went into work and as I was walking through the door I felt that same funny feeling, by the time I had made it up the 3 flights of stairs to my floor I was having another full blown panic attack. I went into my office and my boss came in saw the state of me and took me straight to my GP's surgery which was around the corner.
They saw me within minutes and once the attack had somewhat subsided I explained all the things that had been going on and he signed me off of work and prescribed me Diazepam to take (10mg three times daily) and arranged for me o see a CBT counsellor.
I went home and took the first one and slept for 15 hours straight, whether it was the exhaustion from such a prolonged panic attack or the Diazepam I don't know but I slept for England that day.
I went back to the Doctors the following Monday and explained that I wanted to go back to work, the Doctor advised that he didn't think that it was a good idea, signed me off for a further week, he took me off of the Diazepam as I felt like it was turning me into a sleep-crazed zombie. He switched me on to 20mg Citalopram and 10mg Amytriptyline to aid sleep.
I was told that it could take a while for the Citalopram to get into my system but the Amytriptyline would work pretty much straight away to make me sleep. I also started my counselling. My counsellor is really good and I am glad that I opened up to her as much as I did as I am not famed for "letting people in" I like to keep my private life very private and am not much of a talker when it comes to how I am. I am usually the person that people go to when they have a problem and I'm not so sure I like it the other way round. Nevertheless she is helping.
I had had approximately 15-20 panic attacks per week since that first one, some of them are awful and some I am able to get through quite quickly. The bit that bugs me is that sometimes they come on for just no apparent reason, the worst ones are the ones where I have a nightmare and then wake up and immediately start panicking, not a great way to start the day.
I have been back to the Doctor today and following me having 5 attacks in one day on Friday last week I have been given another tablet to take. 1mg Flupentixol. Apparently this will start to work within days and will take the edge off of my anxiety..... let's hope so!
Since January my life has completely changed. I am no longer the outgoing, confident, assertive person I used to be. I find that I am shying away more and more from social situations as I really don't want to have an attack in public, I am avoiding certain situations for fear of having a panic attack. I have gone back to work but they have taken all managerial responsibility off of me at the moment so I feel like a spare wheel at work, I am also having to train someone else up to do my job so that if I am off then someone else can take over, which then leads me to think they are trying to get rid of me, which makes me worry, which leads to an attack...... and the circle continues!
I just want my life back and have come here looking for inspiration, tips on how to cope when I do have an attack and how to deal with some of the side-effects I am getting from the various pills I am popping. :wacko:
Kate