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Emilysdad
19-03-12, 12:39
Did anyone else catch the interview on Jeremy Vine BBC Radio 2 with Mark Rice-Oxley? Mark has written a book called Underneath the Lemon Tree; A Memoir of Depression and Recovery, and although I've not read it yet myself, from the radio interview it discusses how the pressures of parenthood and being a breadwinner can lead a bloke to depression.

The symptoms that Mark described, along with several of the men who 'phoned in, mirrored my own down to the letter and as with all these things it's always comforting to hear your own symptoms described by other people.

They did read out one email, from a lady in her 70's I believe, who said something along the lines of "What a complete load of nonsense; in my day there was never anything like this and people just got on with it". I must admit I couldn't think of a response to that. How did people cope with anxiety and depression when talkiing about your feelings was frowned upon, the 'stiff upper lip' prevailed, and there was no talking therapy or medication?

I've checked on Jeremy's website but unfortunately that particular interview is not available on the BBC iplayer, although the book itself is available from online bookstores.

snowgoose
19-03-12, 16:09
HI emilysdad

Didnt hear the interview but have often pondered on how past generations coped with anxiety and depression Good topic to discuss here.
A few random thoughts from me are that anxiety and depression were as rife then as now.
Guess distraction and necessity re work played a huge part in coping with it .
As it does now .
There was more local family support maybe and life had rules that one followed without thought... like church on Sunday etc. Routine is safe and understood . All your neighbours were living same life and had same fears . less competition . No designer trainers that plagued the life out of me when kids small . :mad:
Mothers isolated at home had their "little helper pills "
Men had the pub after work sometimes or the allotment .
And there was always someone who was called fragile in whispers nearby .
I am sure there were a lot of very unhappy people who suffered so much .
it just wasnt talked about was it ?

Todays world for me is too full of choice and trying to keep up on the hamster wheel . We cannot get off even when we want to live a simpler life .
To me it confuses and makes life very scary .
But at least today we can be more open about how we feel ....but Emilysdad I still think it is very very hard for men to be open and say they have anxiety issues . So unfair .

Our grandparents suffered no doubt ............I wish they had the chance to get help like us and talk about it .
If my mother had had support then ...I would not be typing now . Her suicide attempts and coldness affected my sister and I deeply . and a life without joy for her .

Take care father to Emily xxxx:hugs:
and keep talking .

snow

haz
19-03-12, 19:05
Good post Snowgoose. :hugs:

Haz. x

committeddoxy
27-03-12, 00:35
Ah well,
'girls' like me were 'put away' for becoming pregnant at such a young age. They are still there now, but elderly. The father would arrange for the girl to be certified 'insane' or 'insensible' and send her off for the nuns to look after. No-one would ask questions as to who had caused the pregnancy or in what circumstances, and he certainly suffered no social consequences.

Or a man with PSTD in the war (Shellshock) would perhaps be shot for cowardice.

So I guess I'm lucky.
I'm taking anti-depressants, have intrusive thoughts, jump out of my skin when a door slams, but I have my freedom at least.

Ah, those were the good old days eh?

I expect my disastrous childhood was probably due to my mother being depressed and not having the skills to look after us, or perhaps she was nacissistic, not sure. But she sure as hell wasn't well, and it's led to three damaged offspring.

But hey, those we're the days.

When the kids ran safely in the streets....heck as like they did, all kinds of dangerous people about, but all brushed under the carpet.

My sibling had eating disorders before we knew what they were.

Denial is a very powerful thing.