View Full Version : Cant take nomore
i suffer from panic attacks and cant go anywere alone !! i have to relay on my fiance to take me everywere..now its got to the point were he feels his life is dead now he cant do anything wivout me...He's wanting to go ova to his family about 30mins away on train and go out to pub wiv his brother only prob is if he goes i cant b alone in house ill panic really bad...i normaly stay wiv my mum n dad but at the mo they have no room..i feel its my fault he no life.. i wish i had a life away from my fella but there noone i can turn to... i feel really bad about all this i dont know wot 2 do !! i cant take anymore of this !
hey hun.
im sorry things r so bad for u at the mo!!
Could u go over to his families house and mayb stay there while he goes out with his bro?
its not ur fault at all, the only other thing i can suggest is facin ur panic head on! i know this is very hard to do but mayb its a good idea to start being left for a few hours and mayb u will get to a point where u feel safe at home!! I know how hard things r for u hun!!
Ammegxxxx
chucklehound
28-06-06, 13:15
When I suffered really bad with monophobia I was exactly the same as you, terrified of being in alone. The first time it happened that I was in alone, I spent the whole day talking to people on MSN from this forum.
Although it's not the same as having someone there with you it really helped me so maybe it could help you too.
Also trying to keep busy helps too.
One of the reasons I didn't split up with my husband sooner was because I was scared of being home alone, apart from the kids. My eldest is at school and my youngest goes to nursery twice a week and I really look forward to trhe break.
hope it goes well for you hun:D
Take care
Chuckle
xxxx
things r not going too well.. im sat ere crying...as we just had words..he says his life is ova now i told him i got chest pains n feel like im gonna have a panic attack but he did nothing...why is he being so hard on me and dont help me its my fault for suffering..he says he dont want me 2 go wiv him as that will spoil his day...i said u dont think of me at all...he says all i think of his me but ive told him im not stopping him from going.. i told him i mite pack a few things and go stay wiv my mum he said go giv us sum space i cant belive he said that im so hurt and upset i cant take nomore !!!!
Aww Nicki, I'm so sorry. It is so difficult for people who have never had panic and anxiety to understand how fearful we can be. I know you feel hurt but he probably is feeling lost and doesn't know what to do help you, which makes him frustrated as he wants to help you because he cares about you.
Take care
Daisybun
'This too will pass'
Nikki, sometimes our partners have to be cruel to be kind. I know we don't like to hear "pull yourself together", but we have to try and face our fears. Unless you have personally suffered from anxiety/panic you will never understand. My mum was a non-believer until she was 50. She didn't give me any support at all, I was a mess, but when my dad left her, I was the supporter then and she was so upset that for years she didn't believe that there was anything wrong with me. I know its going to be hard for you, but you have to take one step at a time. Why don't you let him go, stay at home for a bit and if you feel too scared then go to your family or a friend. Your partner needs his space, and a night off so he can go and spend time with his family will do him the world of good and if he comes home and sees that you have coped, he will be really proud of what you've achieved. You CAN do it, if I can do it anyone can, and believe me, it does get easier.
Hope it goes OK for you.
Les
Hi there, am so sory you feel so awful. As has been said, unless you have 'suffered' a panic attack, i truly don't think you can understand how awful it is. I believe partners sometimes just don't know what to say or do, i know my hubby still doesn't after all these years. I used to hate being 'home alone', now i relish in the peace and quiet and 'me' time. I used to make sure i was able to contact someone if i really needed to, i used to switch every light/tv/radio etc. on...i used to come to this website, print off anything that helped me, have a bath/shower, just used to distract myself read/cook absolutely anything. And i was ok. I had panics wth people or alone and survived them all! JUST!!!! Can you imagine how proud both you and your partner will feel if all goes well.. take care and keep in touch xx
sometimes the fear of being alone is far worse than actually doing it. Break the time down into bite size pieces. Wow I've done a whole 30 mins I must be able to do the next now. I remember many a time when my kids were little pleading with my husband not to go to work. Are you getting any outside help like counselling or medication?
big hug
Mandy
sometimes the fear of being alone is far worse than actually doing it. Break the time down into bite size pieces. Wow I've done a whole 30 mins I must be able to do the next now. I remember many a time when my kids were little pleading with my husband not to go to work. Are you getting any outside help like counselling or medication?
big hug
Mandy
thanks for the replys guys....
IM not getting any counselling or medication....im hoping to try getting back to see my doctor...i onced had my name down for counselling but never heard anything back this was a few yr ago now
You do need to get some help. The medication can help you to get your life back on track and then you can gradually come off it. There is no shame in it at all.
Mandy
im just at the end of my wits end..i just feel things will never get better...i just wish my partner would help me get through it b by my side wen i panic he is ere 4 me 24-7 which is gr8 and does help me...he does tend to snap at me wish i think is my fault wiv my probs getting on top of him and us seeing each other 24-7...i do not stop him staying nites at his family i dont go ofter as i feel like a tag along wen i go which does upset me as i love his family to bits...i just wish i could get the right support off him that i want !!
please see your doctor even if you have to drag a friend along. You can get help and it will get better. If you see your doctor your partner might realise how serious things are and be a bit more supportive. YOu can climb out of that black hole with a little help. hugs
Mandy
april tones
30-06-06, 12:26
Hi nikki,from experience you need to slowly stop relying on your partner to stay with you all time as you need to get out of that habit?
Im not being harsh as i get panic attacks but it starts phobias and will make you worse not better
I used to suffer health anxiety and constantly seek reassurance, my partner was brill but i relyed on this! it will make you worse not better!
hope that makes sense, if you want to talk im here xxx
fibrochat) http://apriltones.proboards54.com
thanks for the advice... i just feel so low and cant take nomore of wot i go through...im having attacks a lot i just want help wen i have attack need someone to hold me get me through it !!!
i feel like i want to get drunk to help me through it all as i cant take nomore !!!!!!
That's really not the answer. Sometimes alcohol can make it worse. Get that doctor's appointment and things will look up from there. This thing is maybe too big for you to cope with alone.
Keep the chin up
Mandy
bless nikki
i had monophobia also & its a terrible anxiety to have, as much as u want people around u also want to be on ur own. i remember being left & i used to ring my dad on the phone to come home from work...... i felt like running down the road screaming so someone would take me away & put me in hospital least there i would be safe :(
ur anxiety levels must be so high at the moment..try some relaxtion as much as possible it will help u reduce ur anxiety & then maybe u can start to reason with urself a lot more.. i also used to play games on the pc & chat, anything to keep my mind active.
it puts a terrible strain on relationships, no one understands until its happened to u & he probably feels ur illness is affecting him as much as it is u.
have u got a really good friend that u feel comfy with? i had trouble with this & still do, some people i felt fine with, others i jsut didnt :(
get them to come over for a bit & remember a panic attack will never kill u.
when u get a fleeting moment of normality it will feel like u have won the lottery, when u get to spend some time on ur own it will feel amazing :)
it will happen honey xx
i was where u are now & i thougth that i didnt have any life. i was paralysed with fear, but u will get thru it
if u have to ring the samaritans or anyone to talk to, a neighbour a family member anyone at first, get used to being with different people then u will venture onto being alone
my heart goes out to u
hugs
michelle
xx
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