Please, my son needs help!

[snowwhite]

Hello everyone........

Well, this is a bit urgent! ...


About 10 days ago, or so....our 27 yr. old son (who lives in the renovated upstairs apt. from us) came downstairs and told me that his upper right quadrant abdomen was hurting, under the breast,,now immed. I thought..gallbladder! We spent hours researching this, and he just paced and paced, holding his upper right abdomen..it wasn't BAD pain, ;but it was pain nonethless...now, a little while later, it moved down farther into the lower abdomen....which I thought would be strange for gallbladder. Then it began to "burn"....he could only drink water, that seemed to relieve it. For the next few days, this "pain", burning , and aching went on and off ..... he started not sleeping well at all....he also felt hungry,but was to afraid to eat,,,I don't blame him. Fast forward to last Wed. (one week ago today)...he finally decided to go to the ER, we went with him of course, and after an exam, and blood work, they decided it was PROBABLY IBS related, and gave him Bentyl and some other med. (I forgot the name) for nausea.....

Well........that wasn't the end of the story, and somehow that night, I knew it wouldn't be. Sure enough, the NEXT DAY, here we go again! But, THIS TIME IT WAS MUCH WORSE! However, now, the pain was more central mid abdomen, sort of around the belly button, and also down farther as well..........oh, and also over to the right, lower. At this point, he was visibly shaken (as was I) and he laid on our couch here, in PAIN .... he described it as being a 10..on a scale of 1-10 .... he said he would get spasms in there too .... with some burning and acid reflux, and nausea.
He had taken the Benryl, but had little effect. So, finally around 3pm, he decided to go BACK to the ER again.........well, after a lovely hour and a half wait in the waiting room....we were finally brought into an examining room.......where we proceeded to wait ANOTHER 2 hrs. before a dr. was available....he laid there in bad pain! My heart broke. They had started an IV drip of saline, because he hadn't been able to eat or drink......finally, they gave him MORPHINE for the pain....then, blood work, urinalysis, an upper chest x-ray, and a CT scan..........all came back fine!......so, the dr. (who was really a very nice and very intelligent woman) said she thought it MIGHT be either a virus or some kind of bacteria! When I asked her wouldn't that show up in the blood or urine, she said no...not necessarily! So, wow...i didn't know that.


Okay, end of long long story......... finally, after 9 hrs. in the ER, he was released.....she gave him Lortabs for the pain, and more of that nausea med...and prevacid RX..............she knew he already had the Bentyl at home......now, the next day (6 days ago), he seemed better! WHAT A RELIEF....no real pain, just soreness in the guts. OK, fine. But, as you might expect.....THAT DIDN'T LAST! I had a feeling about that. So, by the next day again..............here we go with the pain again! .... it hasn't migrated back up to the upper right (under the right breast)....it is mainly, in the central to lower abdomen.....and somewhat over to the right.
Once again, it's none of his organs, which we found out in the CT scan, and chest x-ray...........(and blood work).......

Now, this is when it began to dawn on me.......MAYBE THIS IS ANXIETY!

He has LOTS of anxiety...like myself. He is a very sensitive person, and holds a lot in.....he alwasy has. He harbors a lot of resentment towards his dad (my husb.) and his younger brother......he is actaully a very outgoing and personable guy, very smiley, very funny and friendly...but, this masks what's really going on inside....he has told me that himself.
He has NOT been able to keep a job in a number of years now, due to SEVERE ANXIETY RELATED SYMPTOMS, such as ....BAD headaches, nausea, intestinal problems by the truckload...., all kinds of BAD pains and aches all over his body (which is like me), ... lightheadedness, off balance feelings (also like me!).....yeah, he cannot keep a job! So, this has made him feel very worthless and bad about himself........but, I 've told him so many times over the years, how much we love him, and how important he is to us and our family! Our sons have always gotten a TREMENDOUS amt of love and hugs and kisses from me...I am that type...I was raised like that too, so it's just natural for me........they have NEVER gone a day of their life, without hugs and kisses, and me telling them how great they are ... and they are...they are very sweet, gentle, and caring young men........

But, about a year ago........his girlfriend of 5 yrs. decided, she didn't want to "do this anymore".....now, that nearly killed him. She just stopped talking to him, she didn't ans. her phone, didn't email him, didn't text him....NOTHING! Yes, she DID tell him once, that she was to overwhelmed by her life (she has definate emotional issues, very bad actually.....and he was always there for her, always her support!) .... and she needed an INDEFINATE break......she didn't know for how long, and IF, she'd even come back to him! Well, I can tell you all, that was a bad bad blow!
He did his usual, and kept it all in! I kept trying to talk to him about it, and we can always talk....and we did.......but, even still, it was killing him!
He went through all the phases....anger, resentment, terrible hurt and saddness, disbelief, ANXIETY, panic....you name it......that was last april.
During this last 11 months, he emailed her and she never wrote back......he didn't bombard her, this was just once and a while.......he did text her once, a few months ago.......no response. However, just a few days ago, out of the blue, in the middle of all this horrible abd. pain stuff and ER visits...lo and behold, she sent him an email! (he hadn't written her about the ER visits beforehand at all) ....for some reason, she emailed him. NOthing big, just saying hello, and causal conversation......he said it sounded cold and distant. On one hand he was glad to hear from her, and on the other, he didn't really know what to make of it....she sounded cold.

So........there we are. I tried to give you some history there...bec. I think that has a lot to do with all of this..................

If anyone her can shed some light on this, please do! I am so nervous about this, he is still in pain today, mid central to lower abd....he says it spasms, or just plain hurts...........he has no problem urinating, but I don't believe he's had a BM in days....well, he's NOT EATING! He's lost a good amt. of weight too...which in one way was good, he was a little over weight..... but he is really suffering here, and I don't know what to do....

If this sounds like anxiety related, let me know..........if anyone has anything similar, please, please, please.........post!.....

thank you all so much!

[mashedbanana]

Hi Snowwhite

This really does sound like anxiety. Stress gave my mum a tumour in her neck that nearly paralyzed her. Anxiety can cause really scary physical symptoms so it sounds like your son needs to address all of his issues before he can relax and let go.

I'm not an expert but I'm sure that pain like this snowballs - pain, anxiety about the pain, more pain, etc. I'm sure the docs would have found something if it was there otherwise.

I don't know what to suggest except ride it through, start letting go of what's in his head.

It's great that your so supportive and loving but when I'm depressed or anxious, no amount of love from my family helps at all! When you're in there you feel all alone. Your son has to start looking at what he is holding in before he does himself more damage.

Good luck xx

[MidnightCalm]

You are very supportive, I wish my mum was like you.
I think it does sound very anxiety. I hope he feels better soon.
He should maybe just get it all out, talk it through with you, holding onto things really isn't healthy in the long run =(

[Mo B]

Snow White

I think also that this is anxiety related as all tests have been negative. About 6yrs ago I had something similar , pain in the upper right quadrant which moved all over the place, I ended up having pain if I just put food up to my mouth! I was in a terrible state and lost 2 stone in weight in a matter of weeks. Eventually I went on to an antidepressant Citalopram which eventually did the trick and helped with my awful anxiety symptoms. I was then pain free for years, until now when ive agin developed a pain from anxiety. This time it is a different symptom but the pattern is the same and worsens with anxiety. I am now again having to start and anti d and am upset about this but hope it will work as last time. Has your son had any CBT or counselling for his anxiety? Has he talked this over with his doctor, who should be able to help.

Hope he feels better soon and finds a solution.

:hugs:

[Lizziesaurus]

bar what he was given at hospital, is he on any other meds?
I was put on some pain killers a few months back and within days I was in agony, my stomach was in spasm etc but got told it was constipation which I knew it wasn't but by that point I was so exhausted I said right ok and left.
It does sound anxiety related, I've suffered odd pains etc because of it, and then the more you worry the more it hurts but luckily I've learnt to block it out most of the time!

Maybe it is something food related? I get terrible spasms if I've eaten the wrong food which is more than likely ibs (not even bothered wasting docs time with that one!) so maybe look into that? I'd definitely get him to see a doctor who isn't in a busy emergency room who can sit and listen to everything, maybe go with him as he doesn't sound like one to talk alot, like most guys really.

[Darrenb74]

Hello snow white. I'm not a professional at all but i'm gonna go against what the others have said. I get like trapped wind sensations and the odd imaginary pains. But not pain and burning sensations to that extreme. I'm not saying that others don't and i'm not sure about the HA sufferers on here because from what i have heard is they have extreme pain when they know deep down there is nothing wrong with them. So i would say it doesn't sound like GAD but could be HA. But if that come on me all of a sudden then i would look more at the physical avenues first. Could be a blockage or twist of some sort. But has i say i am not a professional and maybe the above comments are correct and i'm totally wrong. If it was me i just think i would explore about the abdominal side more firstly. Hope i haven't upset anyone by going against what they've said? It's only my opinion.
I wish your son well and good luck with the diagnosis.

Darren :)

[Carys]

If it was me i just think i would explore about the abdominal side more firstly

No, I agree with you Darren. I think if someone is in enough pain to need morphine and is placing the pain as a '10' the highest they could imagine, then that is outside the usual pain of anxiety symptoms. I know there are many things like IBS, acid reflux and so on that can be very painful, but this sounds like a step far beyond. I think I would be requiring more investigation.

[LuSmith]

I agree with the last two commenters. I've had anxiety for years and years and despite suffering acid reflux, IBS, and costochondrotis I have never had pain which reached a 10 on the scale and where I needed morphine. Hell I had surgery and didn't need morphine and I'm the biggest wimp going!

If he continues to complain, perhaps it's a blockage or something? Or a twist as someone said? I'm not a doctor obviously and I don't know much about the body but maybe get a second opinion if it doesn't get better, as not eating will not do his body any good.

I hope you figure this out and that he gets relief soon x

[snowwhite]

Hello everyone, and thank you for your replies! Well, when he said he felt as though it was a "10" on a scale of 1-10, that was that ONE night in the hosp....since then, it has decreased, thank God!....but, when we were in the ER that night, I know he said it felt like a "10", and I do know he's good at acting "casual" as best as he can..but to me, he DID look like he was in pain, that's for sure, but it didn't appear to be unbearable, another word he used....now, I'm not saying he was lying, or exagerating on purpose,,,,of course not ....and I do think that to HIM, it was BAD pain, that's for sure..........BUT, usually when you see someone in "unbearable" pain, you see them nearly screaming, or writhing around on the bed, or ....well, whatever, you know what i mean.......when we were waiting in the ER waiting room for an hour and a half, I could tell he was in BAD pain, he kept going up to the desk and asking if they could give him something bec. he really didn't think he'd make it .... and of course, true to form, they said they couldn't.....that he'd have to just wait! how nice!....so, yes, I could see he was in BAD pain.......and when we were finally put in a room, and he was laying down, again, he was in pretty BAD pain..that was obvious. He had to continually rub his stomach, he would groan a bit every now and then, and for him, that's a lot .... he keeps everything in, so, it's hard to tell........however, to ME, it didn't seem like a "10".....it seemed more like an "8" lets say....but then again, how can you really tell what the other person is truly feeling, and like I said, he DOES keep a lot in ..........................

So, having said that, yes, I also was surprised when they came in with morphine .... but, it worked. I think the dr. felt sorry for him, she knew he had been in pain all that time in the waiting room, and THEN STILL waiting another hour or so in the ER exam room...so, I think she just wanted to really knock the pain out, and I'm thankful for that.

Now, on the CT scan, blood work, urinalysis and upper chest x-ray, they found nothing...she said, everything looked 'fine"......so, if there WAS some kind of blockage or inflamation, they would've seen it ........so, we don't know what to think.

She suggested, perhaps a virus, or bacteria. WEll, that may very well be true, I don't know.........but I do think, his anxiety plays a very big role. For instance, when this all began, and he came downstairs that FIRST night (as explained in my original post above) and complained of pains around the liver area, under the right breast....Icould see he was in pain...not BAD pain, but pain enough!.....now, I gave him a xanax.......well, in a little while I asked how he was doing, and if the xanax had helped, and he said YES ....it hadn't taken it all away, unfortunately, but he said it definately helped! Now, that told me something.

As of today, it's been 2 weeks since he's eaten!!!! Which, is getting me worried. He can drink water, and he's to afraid to even drink anything else, such as perhaps, some of that vitamin water they sell, so at least he'd get some kind of nutrition.......but I don't blame him for being scared, he's to scared it'll start up that bad pain again. Right now, (and yest. and the day before) he is just sort of wandering around the house, trying to keep his mind off it,...he messages his abdomen, tries to watch T.V....etc....but, it's hard, bec. he's so darn hungry! This is awful!

Like I said, he's had IBS for a few years now....never truly "diagnosed" but it's easy to see......I have a bit of that myself. He is a very sensitive person, all our sons are, really. But, he has always tried to be smiley, funny, and act as if nothing is bothering him....and it's usually those people (I myself spent my life doing that too!), who end up with lousy physical problems, bec. they keep it all in, and try to be "nice" etc.....

Now, what he's done today, is dissolved a anti-stress type of pill under his tongue, I bought it at the health food store, and he said it did help a little......... interesting.
I mean, if this were some sort of virus, or bacteria, or who knows what.....I don't think that an anti-stress pill would help with the pain, right? I also advised him to email his EX girlfriend, and really get things out .......... bec. I asked him, if when he wrote her the last time, a few days ago, and told her about his whole ER thing, and what's happening to him physically, did he feel better, and he said yes....not MUCH better, but better. So............again, that told me something. So, I suggested, for him to do that again, really let it all out, tell her how you feel, and how she's broken your heart, and so forth.....don't keep this in! He has agreed to do so, but I don't know when.......

In the meantime, all we can do is love him, support him, and see if maybe he can start ot drink those vitamin waters little by little.......... I would so appreciate it, if everyone would keep him in your prayers, and please, if there is anyone else here who maybe has had similar experiences ..... please post!

Thank you so much to everyone who already has! It means a great deal to know you're not alone, and have support!!!! thank you!

[Adrian Hart]

hello snowwhite all medical advise should be found by your gp and any advice sort on hear is only a recomendation please consult with your gp before taking any advise.

is the pain just bellow the central point of the rib cage. ie dudenum is the the pain like a contraction ie pulsing to a peak then off . after then pain has eased is your son fealing very very lathargic .
and finnaly the day after is your son either constipated or very loose. if so i know what it is . let me know. but please cheak with your doc aswell before taking my word.

[Out_To_Lunch]

Hi snowwhite, I am sorry to hear about your son. I know they have run a lot of test on him. But have they check him for any kind of parasites? I have read that some people have them for quit sometime and do not know it. Just a thought on my part. To me it does not sound like anxiety.

I have severe chronic PTSD (from Vietnam) It's like GAD on steroids, plus some other stuff. I do at times get some bad pain in my stomach, but it does not last very long. With me I think it's my muscles just getting tense. On other days the pain moves somewhere else. To me some of the symptoms of GAD are always changing in some new way.

I do hope you find the answer to whats going on with your son.

Praying for an answer.

J R

[snowwhite]

Okay, I just posted about my son, it's more of an update, but I'll write it here too ...

Well, after we had been to the hosp. that day, and they did the CT scan and all ..ok, they found nothing! We came home, and it took about a week for him to be able to eat simple foods again,...then, he SLOWLY worked his way back up to eating CAREFULLY, because he still didn't feel quite right in there, and every once and a while he'd have a "bad" day with the intestines,,,,,he was getting better, or so it SEEMED.....UNTIL about a week ago, when things started up again!

Thank God he is NOT in such bad pain again, but his abdomen does hurt/ache .... not half as bad as the day we went to the ER, but it's still there, and like I said it started up again about a week ago......he hasn't been able to eat since, he can take cold water however so he can at least stay hydrated .... but, no food for the last week, he just lies on the couch, feeling very weak (of course!) with his intestines very tender and sore ... he HAS thrown up a few times over the last few days, but not very much, and it is either clear, or bile ...... it seems as though he dry heaves, as if there are spasms happening, and then his intestines become very sore, naturally.

This is just awful!~ I don't know what to do here, they took a CT scan and found nothing...blood, urine, exam...nothing! This is why I had thought.....anxiety!

I know anxiey can do unbelieveable things! ( he can urinate, he has no fever at all, he hasn't had a BM in about 5 days but then again, no food!) .....

[oldnews]

what did it turn out to be?