please help...convinced I am dying of cancer

[emeraldgirl]

I feel like I just can't carry on and if i wasn't so scared of not succeeding have thought of ending it all. I started at Christmas with a really basd sinus infection that lasted 3 weeks then felt well for about 2 weeks then got a tickly cough that I still have for about 6 weeks now. Also every 2-3 weeks fro about 2 months now i have bouts of diarrhoea. I am driven into the ground, can't go to work, keep crying. I have been to docs and told him I was worried about bowel cancer and he felt everything and didn't seem concerned. I am afraid to eat, afraid to sleep in case I am ill in the night and just generally not functioning. I a no longer able to work out how much of it is the actual physical symptoms and how much is my mental state - pleas ecan anyone help

[swgrl09]

If you had bowel cancer, your diarrhea would not come and go every few weeks. When my mom had a tumor in her colon, she had constant diarrhea non-stop with no breaks and excrutiating pain so bad that she had to go to the ER. Not just normal cramping.

I know how hard it is to trust your doctor. If you are this worried you should go back and speak with him - not because I think it is something serious, but just to get this all off your chest. If you aren't able to work, you maybe could use some counseling.

You'll get through it, we've all been in that state and gotten through the darkest parts. Juts hang in there.

[emeraldgirl]

Thank you for reading and for your reassurance about the diarrhoea - i do keep trying to believe that it would be more constant without good days in between and have made another appointment to go back to doc. I am just so tired of living with all this anxiety and have had enough

[carmen2012]

I understand exactly how your feeling. I have been suffering with HA for a year now I have had everything, breast cancer the mammogram showed negative, brain tumor, mouth cancer the list is endless. One Dr at my practise was very sympathetic & arranged a full series of blood tests that all came back normal it convinced me for a week but then I was back at square one. I like you have had enough & can't recognise what is anxiety or reality as HA come's with real pain. At the moment I have Diaherrea every morning it used to be 2-3 time's in a space of half an hour it has now reduced to once when I wake up. My motions are never formed. I saw a differet Dr a couple of wks ago she said it was anxiety & maybe I have IBS so to keep a food diary & she also prescribed Amitriptyline 10mg. When I got home I researched these pills & decided that I don't want to go down that rd. I am worried sick at the moment about what is causing this daily diaherrea I don't have any sort of pain or cramping with it.I have just started CBT for my anxiety but have an appt at the DR's next week I'm going to ask for aome blood tests I'm tired of it all & the anxiety make's it worse. I hope that you feel better soon hun & your not alone :-)

[emeraldgirl]

sorry you are feeling like this too..no-one who hasn't actually experienced this can know what it is like and knowing someone understands does make a difference. I have tried all kinds of counselling/therapy/medication - like you the only thing that reassures me is the doctor or some tests and then like you...one week and its something else. i wish i could get off this roundabout

[emeraldgirl]

So, I have been to the doctor today about my bowel cancer symptoms - he examined me and could find nothing, said he could tell I wasn't anaemic, I haven't passed any noticeable blood and haven't lost or gained weight. he said he feels sure its IBS/anxiety but has really freaked me out as he wants to test a sample- he says to see if there is an infection but i know its to look for blood. I just don't know how to get through the next day or the next. As I am now in my fifties I find my health anxiety is just getting out of control and I don't know how to manage it at all

[xvolatileheart]

I know exactly how you feel. Today I've convinced myself I have brain cancer, lung cancer, then I thought "what if it's spread throughout my body?" It's such a horrible feeling, but you have to remind yourself that it's irrational. Symptoms wouldn't come and go and diarrhea is a normal symptom of anxiety anyway. There are always simpler and more likely explanations for your symptoms, so try to remind yourself that it's nothing serious.

[emeraldgirl]

Thanks for your support and encouragement. Health anxiety is so horrid - I can really identify with your thoughts of 'what if its spread throughout my body'. I can go from a monir twinge somewhere to having that thought in seconds. I try the self talk and sometimes I can talk myself down but sometimes, like now, it all spirals out of control

[xvolatileheart]

Health anxiety really is horrible. I've had it since I can remember. I had hives as a little girl and hid it from my mom because I was so scared it meant I was dying.

It sounds silly, but sometimes I have to remind myself to give my body more credit. All I think about is the little aches and strange sensations and convince myself that my body is falling apart, but actually my body is doing so many good, healthy things all the time, I'm just not paying attention to them.

I hope you feel better soon!

[macc noodle]

So, I have been to the doctor today about my bowel cancer symptoms - he examined me and could find nothing, said he could tell I wasn't anaemic, I haven't passed any noticeable blood and haven't lost or gained weight. he said he feels sure its IBS/anxiety but has really freaked me out as he wants to test a sample- he says to see if there is an infection but i know its to look for blood. I just don't know how to get through the next day or the next. As I am now in my fifties I find my health anxiety is just getting out of control and I don't know how to manage it at all

Do you mind me asking? Are you post or pre menopausal?

A lot of your symptoms sound very familiar to me and I am pre-menopause (or peri-menopause) - have had an absolutely rubbish last 3 years with massive increase in health anx and really grotty poor health feeling - although all my results come back clear.

I think that it is great that the doc is checking a sample - it will just help put your mind at rest.

:hugs:

[Julianne]

So, I have been to the doctor today about my bowel cancer symptoms - he examined me and could find nothing, said he could tell I wasn't anaemic, I haven't passed any noticeable blood and haven't lost or gained weight. he said he feels sure its IBS/anxiety but has really freaked me out as he wants to test a sample- he says to see if there is an infection but i know its to look for blood. I just don't know how to get through the next day or the next. As I am now in my fifties I find my health anxiety is just getting out of control and I don't know how to manage it at all

This (your comment above) should reassure you, but the anxiety problem you have will probably not allow it to.

It is a terrible shame that your doctor has not been more helpful in treating your anxiety since you really do need help for it.

Try to relax and know that you haven't got cancer. You are not alone with your health anxiety and you have come to the right place to realise that there are so many others with this problem, take comfort from this and the knowing that eventually you will overcome it.

You will get better, it just takes time, time and lot of patience and understanding from those around you.

with warm wishes

[emeraldgirl]

I think I am just about through the menopause but still get hot flushes that make me feel awful and definitely add to the anxiety as I think I have an unexplained fever. Like you the last three years have been hell with one thing after another and now this latest scare has just snowballed. Usually the doctor is able to reassure me but this time sadly not.

[Mick081081]

Hi everyone, I'm in the same boat also but have been able to control it till Christmas just gone as was dealing with a lot of stress which amplified HA to a new level. I started on Citalopram a week ago after being on Prozac for a month prior to this which gave me every side effect on the sheet and made my health anxiety even worse- which convinced me I had a brain tumour! My anxiety got so bad I ended up with depersonalisation which I've still got which in turn made the health anxiety even worse (vicious cycle). Since being on Citalopram I seem to slowly but surely calming down slightly. I've never been so scared in my whole life do really feel for everyone who is suffering. I spent 5 weeks solid in bed thinking this is the end but I forced myself back to work for a few hours a day this week and it seemed to help although it was the worst week of working ever. I find that if I try to keep myself busy reading etc then the brain is concentrating on whatever you are doing and gradually I can feel it dispersing little by little every day. I know it's hard to start doing things while you feel this way but take baby steps do small things and eventually I hope that I'll be able to get back to functioning normally! This is a terrible state to be in and I hope everyone manages to feel slightly better as time goes by. Wish I had a magic wand that would rid everyone of this problem- where's Harry Potter when you need him??? It's easier said than done but keep off the Internet those symptom checking websites and some forums are terrible if I believed them then I'd have every illness under the sun. If anyone wants to chat my email is on my profile or write back on here. Take care everyone and think positive and that you can beat this illness.

[milicent]

When I was going through the menopause all of a sudden I changed into this person who was terrified of everything.Not only did I have the feelings of ants crawling under my skin -which is quite common apparently-but this sudden fear (came out of the blue) of being in the sun I would go to work early(sun was weaker) and make sure I always walked in the shade if no shade available panic would set in.
Went to Drs after about 2 weeks of this and was put on HRT -within a couple of days ants gone and no more panic about sun--so must be hormonal-hope you feel better soon

[emeraldgirl]

Thank you for your reassurance. Tests were all negative but something else has taken over (see post on chronic kidney disease) I am feeling so low that I feel like am losing it completely. I am crying all the time and unable to see anything positive at the moment. I really do find a lot of support from reading your messages and from realising I am not the only one. thank you everyone