Should I try therapy?

[monika]

Hey all,
I've posted on NMP for a few years. Anxiety, ocd, dp was pretty bad a few years back, then just kind of went of away and I felt 100% back to normal for that time. In the past month and a bit it has gotten bad again, just like it was those years back. I feel like it's all repeating. I know I can get better and I have been doing well since I had a panic attack in February that triggered this all again. The thing is, I feel like it came back because I never truly dealt with it before. Never saw a therapist, never took meds or anything like that. I read some books and eventually I just got distracted with life and moved on. I thought I grew out of it and if I ever got any of those ocd weird thoughts they wouldn't effect me.
I think what this means is I never dealt with my anxiety in a constructive way and that is why it came back. I wasn't truly cured, just got distracted, yet all the potential for it to come back was still there.

I hope that all makes sense, and basically I've been considering therapy, but I'm REALLY apprehensive about doing it. I've heard so many stories about people going from therapist to therapist who didn't really understand, or therapy has made them worse, or only helped marginally etc etc. I've read on CBT and applied some of the exercise and it did help, but I'm just really nervous about diving into the world of therapy. I've always been a silent sufferer. No one in my life really knows how bad it is, they just think I suffer from the odd panic attack.

I feel like a mess, lol. But I'm so prepared and ready to tackle this and I've made a lot of progress myself but I feel like I need a professional to help me through this more, mostly with my pure-o - intrusive and obsessive thoughts and my GAD.

Sorry for the long post, I just don't even know where to start with therapy and was wondering if anyone could give me advice. It would be much appreciated. :blush:

Monika

[kittikat]

Hi Monika, it looks like you done really well last time you had issues and you have to be proud of yourself for battling it alone. Now those old feelings are coming back do you feel you have the inner strength to do it by yourself again? Therapy is not for everyone, I know, but I found it really helpful in the past and I have just started again after having a relapse. I think you are being very hard on yourself by not sharing your worries and symptoms with others although I understand the reasons behind this. I was the same before but the support I have received from others since being more open about my problem has helped me no end. I hope you can have the courage to share your problems with those close to you. They may not fully understand what you are going through, but they will try and I really think this will help you. They say nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I truly believe you have nothing to lose by having a chat with your GP with regard to referal for some therapy. I am feeling optimistic now, even after I have only just had my first session. I hope you reach the right decision for you but honestly, I found it very helpful. You are not alone in your anxieties. Good luck. Kitti :) x

[monika]

I do feel I have the inner strength to deal with this myself again, but the thing that is making it harder this time is my thinking that maybe I didn't do it right last time and that is why it came back. Like if I do get over this blip once again, will it come back years later again? I don't know how many times in my life I can go through these cycles lol! That's why I am thinking maybe if I try CBT or something that I will gain skills in keeping this under control for the long-term.
I'm apprehensive about telling those around me. Don't know how they'd all react if I said I sometimes fear knives because I think I might stab someone, or that I have an intense fear of becoming schizophrenic or whatever. They'd a) think I am crazy or b) laugh and think I am over-reacting.
I wish I could just know what would be right for me :mad:

[kittikat]

Oh Monika, you are in a dilemma hun....you don't have to tell them everything. As for the therapy, as I said, I had a good result about 6 years ago, then relativley anx/panic free all that time so I too thought I'd cracked it. Then BAM!! It hit me bad about 5 months ago, hence where I am now. I really don't know if it ever goes away, maybe there are 'triggers' that you need to explore and therapy would probably help with this aspect.

[monika]

Hmm, it's a tough decision. I think I'm going to wait it out for a month and see how I feel :/ I know maybe that's not the smartest thing but I'm afraid of the unknown aha! I'm finding a really hard time making up my mind about this whole thing, especially cuz my days are so back and forth..some I feel normal, others horrible :(

[Lindy]

The two things that spring to mind when I read your posts are

1. You don't have to do this alone. Although therapy can be very challenging, opening up old wounds before you can heal, you will have someone there for you to help guide you through it. Things often get worse before they get better, but the result is that they do stand a good chance of getting significantly better!

2. Doing nothing will result in no change in your current status. Whilst that's reassuring in the sense that you can predict how you will feel, these things don't very often go away by themselves. Nnothing worthwhile was ever easy!

I really hope that you find something that helps you, days are long and hard when they are filled with anxiety or depression. Good luck x

[CoWL]

wow i am in the same exact situation as you. i have only recently found out that i am not the only one suffering from these "pure o" intrusive thoughts. i finally broke down about 2 months ago and told my mom a little bit of what was bothering me and i started taking 25 mg of sertraline and up until a few days ago i was feeling SO much better. I am considering therapy too and I wish it was easier to talk to people about how I'm feeling but I'm like you and so scared of their reactions to my obsessions because they even frightened me (still do most days)...so how on earth would someone I care about be able to understand that pure o isn't something I'm making up?? Ah such a tough thing to be going through but i'm glad i can come to this sight and see others dealing with the same, even though I would never wish this on ANYONE.

Anyway...how are you doing now?