My son's anxiety

[scatty_cat]

Hi

Do any of your children suffer from anxiety?

MY youngest son is 11 and he has ADD, Dyspraxia and Hypermobility. He quite understandably gets very down sometimes because he feels he is different to other children.

School is a big problem as his anxieties make him want to stay at home with me although I know he can't keep missing school. This morning he is having another bad day. We had a talk and he said that he's scared that his friends will stop liking him and gang up on him. Also he told me that he thinks they're talking about him sometimes and he hides away from them.

That really struck a chord with me as that is exactly how I feel sometimes. If I hear people laughing, I think they're laughing at me. I've never told him this but I'm worried that all my anxiety problems are having an effect on him.

I just don't know what the best thing to do is when he scared of going to school. Do I force him to go in?

Rachel

[carol1969]

We had exactly the same problem with my daughter when she was 13. We kept taking her everyday and she would cry and be anxious but we stayed consistant in taking her everyday and eventually after months and months of heartache she started going on her own and now shes 16 confident (too much confidence sometimes). Stay consistant even though its heartbreaking seeing your child that upset. I used to come home and cry my eyes out when i left her at school that upset but it paid off in the end.

Good luck
Carol x

[chedda]

Hia scatty_cat
its not nice when our children have fear and anxiety and i can sympathise with you on this.Totally diffrent situation but my son has perthes disease basically his hip crumbled away ,he had to wear a double leg brace and face his classmates he was so upset and frightened and didnt want to go but like carol we forced him ,it upset me many times but when he came out of school it wasnt quite as bad as he thought.He did have rubbish days but i think because we talked about it and how he felt it seemed to help a bit,hes now at secondary school still has problems with his hip but not like he did and he has got a bit more confidence now.Hope fully you will find comfort that these things can be overcome although its really hard and upsetting at the time
take care cheryl xx

[scatty_cat]

Hi again

Thanks for your replies. I've just been to see my son's headmaster and he was actually very helpful and understanding. He said that he sees anxiety as an illness which was reassuring. He's going to make sure that his teachers are more aware of his problems. They've said that if things get on top of him too much he can go and take some time out somewhere quiet.

I think I may need to start his Psychologist sessions again. We finished them a few weeks ago but we never really dealt with his anxiety issues.

It's a very difficult call to make as to whether you keep them off school or not. I try to get him in as much as possible - sometimes we just go in a bit later in the morning or even lunchtime. But somedays I let him stay off if he's really bad.

I don't feel comfortable forcing him to go in - if he's that upset then I just feel that it's going to make things worse. I think that sometimes children get a raw deal if they have anxiety issues - as adults it's more acceptable to take time off work with anxiety etc.

I think I'm not strong enough emotionally at the moment to cope with making him go in. I've had several panic attacks in the last few weeks and I'm suffering from depression.

Carol - I'm glad you and your daughter have got through her tough times. You're right - it does break your heart when they're upset.

Cheryl - that must have been really hard for you and your son. Thanks for your encouragement.

Lucy - thanks for the offer. I will get in touch soon.

Rachel

[chucklehound]

:DHi Rachel and welcome to the forum:D

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[chedda]

Hia Rachel glad that you have been to the school and got a supportive headmaster that understands :D
Hopefully this will make it easier for you and your son
take care cheryl xx

[april tones]

Hi, i can only sympathise
I worry of this with my son, but kids dont always pick up on your own anxieties
My son is very clever and cute and knows if im down as he says your quiet! He is only 2 and half!
I worry about him but he is happy,clever,forward,confident and chatty!
The only thing i worry is he likes no mess, cleanliness like me! hope my ocd not rubbed off on him
He also faffs abpout his nails if they are too long or anything he picks them! now that worries me, not sure if thats just a toddler thing! hope so xx

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