W.I.F.T.S.
29-06-06, 12:56
When I'm in social situations I feel like I really have to watch my behaviour because in the past I have got really drunk, done drugs and been obnoxious, pessimistic, judgemental, egotistical and dismissive of people.
I don't really get drunk anymore because I suffer terrible panic, depression and anxiety with a hangover (the depressant qualities of alcohol) and because I also felt so much shame, embarrasment and guilt.
But then I can't really enjoy myself on nights out because I feel so inhibited and tense in case I do or say something wrong.
I know that not really liking myself very much is faulty thinking and that using substances to help me to relax has actually made the problem worse. I'm glad that I don't drink so much now and I haven't taken drugs for about 4 years (and don't intend to again either). I just wish that I could let go, not be so tense and serious and enjoy myself.
I'm trying to get into the habit of sorting problems out for myself, so I'll have a go:
Tension: I am making efforts to relax generally with daily jacuzzi, swimming and sauna sessions. I am playing sport and hopefully I will soon be taking up Yoga too. There is no need to be defensive with people, they are as insecure as I am, I just need to open up, relax and be myself. I need to accept myself as a normal 'flawed' human being and to accept others.
Confidence: I am pushing my comfort zone with my voluntary work and I'm organising a stag do. Pushing through fear is the best confidence-booster going.
Negativity: Very often in the past I have looked forward to things with a sense of dread and I've just wanted them to be over. I'm changing my thinking and trying to look forward to things positively- it is hard, as I'm responsible, but at the end of the day we will all be grown ups and if things go slightly wrong that can be funny and add to the sense of adventure. I don't want to try and control everything too much, I want to go with the flow, be in the moment and enjoy the experience.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
I don't really get drunk anymore because I suffer terrible panic, depression and anxiety with a hangover (the depressant qualities of alcohol) and because I also felt so much shame, embarrasment and guilt.
But then I can't really enjoy myself on nights out because I feel so inhibited and tense in case I do or say something wrong.
I know that not really liking myself very much is faulty thinking and that using substances to help me to relax has actually made the problem worse. I'm glad that I don't drink so much now and I haven't taken drugs for about 4 years (and don't intend to again either). I just wish that I could let go, not be so tense and serious and enjoy myself.
I'm trying to get into the habit of sorting problems out for myself, so I'll have a go:
Tension: I am making efforts to relax generally with daily jacuzzi, swimming and sauna sessions. I am playing sport and hopefully I will soon be taking up Yoga too. There is no need to be defensive with people, they are as insecure as I am, I just need to open up, relax and be myself. I need to accept myself as a normal 'flawed' human being and to accept others.
Confidence: I am pushing my comfort zone with my voluntary work and I'm organising a stag do. Pushing through fear is the best confidence-booster going.
Negativity: Very often in the past I have looked forward to things with a sense of dread and I've just wanted them to be over. I'm changing my thinking and trying to look forward to things positively- it is hard, as I'm responsible, but at the end of the day we will all be grown ups and if things go slightly wrong that can be funny and add to the sense of adventure. I don't want to try and control everything too much, I want to go with the flow, be in the moment and enjoy the experience.
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.