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W.I.F.T.S.
29-06-06, 13:36
I've always been fine travelling round England and wales and even enjoyed it. The thought of going to Scotland made me feel uneasy because I had the image in my head of travelling 'up' the world and I might fall back.

I've been to Ireland, France, Spain, Holland and Belgium and felt great, really free.

I just can't seem to get my head round the world being this huge rock spinning round in space and we're all these tiny little specks on it's surface. I never even used to think about it, I never questioned what was beneath my feet and I was 'ok'. I think that is how you have to be really. You just have to get on with it and just take the things that you actually 'see' at face value. More often that not I think fear is about things that you can't see.

I really would love to travel the world, that is my great ambition. I'm petrified of large bodies of water and long haul travelling (being on the other side of the world) is one of my biggest nightmares, so if I ever get to America, China or Australia I've really done something amazing.

I know I can do it and I know that it is something that I have built up in my mind. Even in the early days of my illness I was still thinking of trips abroad, so I know that it is something that I could enjoy and look forward to.

I think a big part of my depression is feeling that I'm trapped in this tiny little part of the world when there is so much that I want to see and do.

I would love to go to all the major cities of Europe.

i just have to have faith that gravity won't fail- that is me worrying that I'll fall down the world. How irrational, how preposterous. the world has been like this for millions of years and even if gravity did fail I would float off, not drop down.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

polly daydream
29-06-06, 22:15
Hi and im sure that one day you will visit those much wanted places.

Good luck,

Polly

brenda
30-06-06, 10:27
Coo I wish I could have done what you have done. I cant even travel round England at the moment. I feel trapped in my home

Look at all the things you have done and give yourself a pat on the back

Hugs
Pam

W.I.F.T.S.
03-07-06, 09:20
I've always wanted to travel and see places and feeling that I can't do them because I'm too scared makes me feel really depressed.

Just before I became ill I was probably at my most confident ever. I drove from London, through Belgium to Amsterdam and had no problems at all.

I know what I have to do is to do it and then I will feel all this fear and depression lift from my shoulders and I will feel free, happy and relaxed.

I'm not scared of the places as such, I'm scared of feelings or thoughts that I might have. That I might feel sick with nerves or panic there. That I might feel completely disorientated or that I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

It's one of those lose-lose situations for me. If I'm agorophobic and can't leave my small town I'm going to feel very depressed, bored and limited, but if I go out of town I'm going to feel scared, panicky and anxious.

I need to turn that into a win-win situation. WHEN I leave town I'm going to be expanding my comfort zone and confronting my fear, which is going to be good for my confidence, so I win. And the more time I spend in my small town the more opportunity I have of making new friends and feeling closer to my family, so I win again there.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

brenda
03-07-06, 10:14
Hi
I've just been reading a Claire Weekes book and it tells you all about how to deal with the feelings/fear of symptoms
You have to face the fear and go through it and the more you do it the less symptoms you will get.

Just accept that the symptoms will not harm you and try and accept them and let them do their worst.

Its the fear of the symptoms that is the worst thing for me.
Dont know if I have explained that very well but I am finding that her tapes and books are helping me understand what is going on in my body and how to cope with it

Hope that helps a bit
Pam

Coyote
04-07-06, 03:07
I understand those feelings of dred, but its amazing what you can do with the right motivation. If you ever did plan a trip up to Scotland, as a stepping stone to further away, consider letting me know, I'd be happy to meet up and show you some places if you were nearby, that would be an 'exercise' for me too, and it might also help if you know there are people around who really do understand.

Maybe a lot of us from the area could get together, have a wacky day out for the mentally anguished? Sounds fun! :D ... but seriously, there are options where gatherings of people from areas local to them might be able to benefit each other - a good day out, consisting of people who normally have trouble going out. Same problems, same type of people, a fine day for a change!

Hmm ... <brain starts ticking...>