I really really need some support right now. Please anyone.

[dying inside]

I am in a really bad way. My life has just rocketed through the ground. I can't do this. Please i just need some one. Anyone. I have no friends and i need some support. PLEASE.

[bottleblond]

Hi there and welcome to NMP :flowers:

Can you maybe give us some details so we can try to help?.

Lisa

[dying inside]

My life is just over. I am at rock bottom. I have been dumped by my partner so so suddenly, i am numb and in total total shock. I am crying my eyes out and breaking down in front of my kids. I am taking anti depressant, and diazapam to try to calm myself down, and i am drinking. I adore him, he is half of me, he is my life and everything has been wonderful, just perfect for four years, and suddenly out of nowhere, he has left me. He has gone. I can't do this.

[Stormsky]

Im sorry to hear this... I recall my ex (this was 11yrs ago now) he came home one day and announced he was IN LOVE, with a girl at work!! complete shock, we had been together 4yrs at that time.... i went into shock as well... but there were reasons behind it all... i take some of the blame...
Surely you know why he left?
Drinking wont help, not with meds too... not without meds either!
Have you contacted him to talk through whats happened?

[bottleblond]

I am so sorry to hear this. You poor thing. :hugs:

You know, i recon the way you are feeling is pretty normal after a shock like this as you said it was sudden. Something similar happened to me in my last serious relationship and i ended up on my own with a baby. I know you think that you can't cope and that you will never get over this but i promise you, you can and you will. I know you're hurting like hell and can see no way forward but you are a person in your own rights and you have to live for yourself hun.

Your kiddies need you too just like my son needed me when it happened to me, and trust me, the very last thing i felt like doing was thinking of and having to care for someone else when i was falling apart inside but step by step, week by week, things do get better.

We'll help you too.
You're definately not on your own.
:bighug1:

Lisa

[dying inside]

Im sorry to hear this... I recall my ex (this was 11yrs ago now) he came home one day and announced he was IN LOVE, with a girl at work!! complete shock, we had been together 4yrs at that time.... i went into shock as well... but there were reasons behind it all... i take some of the blame...
Surely you know why he left?
Drinking wont help, not with meds too... not without meds either!
Have you contacted him to talk through whats happened?


I spent last night with him, he didn't want to and said he felt bullied in to it but every person is different and i needed a night with him. I spent all night awake and holding him. People will say it was the wrong thing to do and screwed up my head and emotiions, but i needed to spend a bit of time with him after he dumped me. He doesn't want me any more because he has aspergers and is very depressed after resigning from his job last august. I spoilt him, and did everything for him, he was - he IS my world, but he wants a life alone. We were wonderful together, and we made eachother so happy. Four years. Now, he's gone. i can't do this.

[Stormsky]

Perhaps when he has had a bit of time to himself, he will realise what you 2 have together... perhaps you didnt do him any favours by doing everything for him, and he feels he needs to be independent and try doing stuff for himself... If your relationship is that strong, like you say, then its very possible he will miss the connection he has with you too... you say hes depressed too, which can make someone want to be alone and isolate themselves.. has he been to gp for depression?

[dying inside]

I am so sorry to hear this. You poor thing. :hugs:

You know, i recon the way you are feeling is pretty normal after a shock like this as you said it was sudden. Something similar happened to me in my last serious relationship and i ended up on my own with a baby. I know you think that you can't cope and that you will never get over this but i promise you, you can and you will. I know you're hurting like hell and can see no way forward but you are a person in your own rights and you have to live for yourself hun.

Your kiddies need you too just like my son needed me when it happened to me, and trust me, the very last thing i felt like doing was thinking of and having to care for someone else when i was falling apart inside but step by step, week by week, things do get better.

We'll help you too.
You're definately not on your own.
:bighug1:

Lisa


Lisa
That is the most lovely reply. And on top of all my crying that has made me cry even more. You are wonderful. x

---------- Post added at 20:48 ---------- Previous post was at 20:27 ----------


Perhaps when he has had a bit of time to himself, he will realise what you 2 have together... perhaps you didnt do him any favours by doing everything for him, and he feels he needs to be independent and try doing stuff for himself... If your relationship is that strong, like you say, then its very possible he will miss the connection he has with you too... you say hes depressed too, which can make someone want to be alone and isolate themselves.. has he been to gp for depression?


No, he would never go to a gp. I wouldn't even suggest it to him. In his little world that is beneath him and he knows what he is doing. He wants to be alone. The thing is he has Aspergers and is on the autistic spectrum, which really doesn't help, and is probably where all this stems from. There is nothing i can do. I feel so numb. If i'd had an affair or something i could beg forgiveness and say sorry and plead and beg. But i've done nothing wrong. He has just decided to drop me from his world. He is half of me and i can't do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I adore him. Four long years of busily doing wonderful things - i know this sounds bad but i *know* i made him happy, then suddenly he wants me gone, no contact, nothing.
He would never change his mind or say he was wrong - his personality he is too proud and too stubborn. Once he's made a decision that's it. I just can't face the fact i will not see his face again. I love him with every thing i have. How do i do this. I am stuggling to just breath in and out.

[bottleblond]

Crying is never a bad thing hun. :hugs:

Also, you are not weak by any means, you have came here and asked for advice and that makes you a damn strong person so don't forget that.

The rest will take a little longer but we are a friendly bunch and we will help you through those tears. We may even manage a wee smile soon. :flowers:

Lisa
xx

[JoniEdwards]

Oh dear, im so so sorry, I cant even imagine this. Sending positive thoughts your way. Big big hugs.

[Em84]

Yes....def cry it all out! I love a good cry, I feel like ive just lost all those emotions!

Do you know what, before my husband I was with an ex for 5 years, we were in abnad together, had same friends because of this....he one day said he wanted a break...I don't do breaks so left him to it obv upset.
I booked a trip to America for a few days...off I went...when I came back he was there wanting to try again a few days later....

Then 2 years after that he broke everything off, the band, the relationship! It made me stronger and as happy as I thought I was I then met my husband a few months later..

6 years on, two kids...the point I'm trying to make is that everything happens for a reason....be strong, not just for you but the kids....

Xxxx

[AnxiousAnnie18]

Sorry to hear this, I have no experience with relationships etc but can imagine it would be absolutely heart breaking and terrifying. Just remember you have kids that I'm sure adore you and need you, they will always be there so never think your alone... big hugs x

[ACT]

Hello
I hope this helps.....
15 months ago, out of the blue I began to have panic attacks. After months of psychiatrists, changing medication, CBT, etc etc the attacks were downgraded to severe anxiety and with CBT, I was slowly trying to get control of the symptoms and get my life back. I had a number of set backs, having to start a new job, moving to another state where I didn’t know anyone, dealing with a horrific co worker, death of my pet, etc (all within twelve months.) I loved my partner dearly, we’ve been friends for fourteen years and together for eight. He announced on new years day this year that he no longer wanted to be together. I was devastated. I was completely useless for a good two weeks. I have been slowly putting things back together since then. The most helpful place I got help was firstly, googling the grief process. I found grief information about the grief cycle and helped me accept that pretty much everything was out of my control for a while. It’s like having someone dies but worse because it’s their choice. I also went to see my gp. Whilst there’s not much they can do she helped with reinforcement that it was ok to have to focus on just getting up out of bed for a few weeks. And then that it was ok to just focus on going to work. I found I just had to let everything go that wasn’t absolutely necessary. Ie. House cleaning, straightening my hair, cutting my nails, making the bed. It also set my anxiety off big time and my whole body shook for a long time. A couple of months later she also helped with general blood tests (I hadn’t been looking after myself properly.) It took three months before I managed to leave the house for an unnecessary errand. I also highly recommend speaking to a counsellor. With the panic attacks and anxiety I’ve been trying to cope with I couldn’t control my thoughts they were racing around. I found a telephone counselling company so when I needed to talk to someone I could that day. I also have no friends and no family to help and having my partner ‘abandon’ me was just hitting at my weakest spot. It also made it really difficult to fight the ‘i’m all alone’ thoughts that triggers my anxiety, particularly because I am. It’s going to feel really bad for a long time. Your feelings are going to go every which way for a while, but it will slowly slow down. I also watched a lot of comedies and don’t watch anything that might tip me over a bit (even the news.) I also found that I needed Valerian to sleep each night and I have constant dreams and nightmares. The hardest thing is having to remain amicable with the person who tore your heart out because you’ll have ongoing contact because of your kids. We ended up making an agreement that we both would tell the truth at all times and not see anyone else for three months. That took the worst of it out because I wasn’t sitting there imagining that he was seeing someone else during the worst time.
Sorry to put the warning out there but: Whilst some people say drinking doesn’t help it’s a fairly usual reaction. Try to limit the glasses and drink them slowly. Mixing them with medications is dangerous and most accidental deaths due to overdose occur with a mixture of alcohol with at least two medications. I freely admit my alcohol intake has gone up. To keep it down I fill a large glass full of ice and then add the usual standard scotch and water. Holding the cold glass is a great distraction and comfort and feels like I’m drinking but bysipping slowly whilst the ice melts it keeps my intake down. Then I allow myself some wine once a week as a treat, but not more because it slips down quickly.

---------- Post added at 12:29 ---------- Previous post was at 12:19 ----------

oops, forgot the most important thing! lots of cuddles with my dog and cat.