anyone who worries abnormally about their children

[Linny]

is anyone the same as me?
i so worry about something happening to my kids that it gets in the way of enjoying life!
for example, we are all invited out to a barbeque/party at the weekend. i would love to go and enjoy myself, have a few drinks but i know i won't. my kids are 7 and 10, so not babies. i have had to stop and ask myself what exactly it is that worries me but sometimes i don't even know! i guess i think that drinking might cloud my judgement should they be ill or that my partner won't be able to drive them to hospital.
my eldest is off school poorly today and i am a nervous wreck!

i could go out with my partner, my mum would babsit but i won't leave them.
school trips are also a problem.

most of it doesn't make sense, it's just a feeling in me. but i have spent the last 10 years avoiding friends and parties etc and i am sick of it. noone understands, not even me!

[Southern_Belle]

Linny,

I understand as this is anxiety. I also suffer from probably a mild form of OCD but have been diagnosed with it. I feel like I wanted to constantly control the environment for my children who are now 21 and 14. I wanted them in a safety bubble so nothing bad would ever happen to them and still do. My poor oldest son never really got to do anything until I was put on medication for anxiety and OCD. My youngest son is living a much different childhood. I still worry mind you, but it doesn't control my life. I'm not saying that medication is the answer for you, I also have had counseling but you need help as your children will not have a normal childhood if this continues and I know deep down you don't wish that. You will also be such a happier person if you don't obsess about this, believe me I know. Please go see your doctor or a therapist regarding this, it will help.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[april tones]

Hi linny!
I have been like that since my son was born, it gets better but when stressed like now it is worse!
i also suffer ocd but havent been diagnosed"
The doctor wouldnt listen as he said i dont repeatedly wash my hands" very silly man
the counceller said i have it and gave me tips!
Hi bel also xx

fibrochat) http://apriltones.proboards54.com

[Linny]

have you ever taken anidepressants for it? if so did they work?
my son who has real bad hayfever is now coughing alot and although he says he feels fine i am scared he is going to have an asthma attack. he does have mild asthma but never had an attack as such but here i go again...worry...worry...worry

[carlin]

Hi there, sorry you feel so worried about your kids all the time. Firstly, ALL parents worry about their children, that is perfectly natural! Try to break it down a little, go to the BBQ, don't drink (too) much, have a cab number for back-up, the kids will love it and so will you and your partner, if anything were to happen, I can assure you through experience, that auto-pilot will kick in and you will cope! If not other people will be there to assist. Nothing bad will happen though, enjoy yourselfs, one day at a time, they are going to be fine. Then, when you get home, you can all snuggle up and have a giggle at all the 'goings-ons" at the BBQ have fun xxx

[Jenny]

I worried more when my daughter went to senior school than I ever did when she was small. I suppose it was the fact that she was growing up.
As she got older I felt more uneasy when she went out with the girls than I did if her boyfriend was with her. She turned out fine. All that worrying for nothing. Now at 28 she is getting married next year, and we are having fun going round all the bridal shops looking for that very special dress. She moved away from home 4 years ago, but I know she only a phone call away.

Jenny xxxxx

[darkangel]

hi linny

i am the same, i wouldnt let my daughter stay overnight with anyone (not even grandparents) I was so obsessed that something may happen to her. She is now 15 and has been living with her dad 4 nights a week since last year and I am having to learn to let the ties go. It is so difficult as I worry about her. She is going on holiday to greece next week with her dad and his girlfriend who is a doctor but I am still so concerened. Its like will she remember to put on enough sun screen and drink plenty fluids !!!!!! She is looking forward to going away to get some peace from me - I must try to stop protecting her so much but for her own sake and mental wellbeing give her that bit more space.

Its about letting go and the only way our children can grow is to give them the space to achieve this.

Darkangel




........life is for living not just for surviving

[Linny]

thanx for all the replies. glad to know others are the same. i try my best not to project it onto my kids.
i have had my kids wanting to sleepover at grannies and avoided it as much as i can. trouble is my mum thinks it's because i don't trust her! as does the teacher because i don't like school trips either.
well, i have got ready, going to the bbq in an hour. i won't drink much and i'll come home if my kids aren't happy coz it's in a garden and they get very bad hayfever.
thanx again everyone.

[scatty_cat]

Hi Linny

How did the BBQ go? I hope you enjoyed it.

I worry about my boys so much - they're 11 and 13. The oldest one has started high school and I think it's since then that my anxiety has got worse. He goes out more with his friends now and I'm panicking if he's late home. I hate anyone else driving them around - I'd rather do it myself.

This awful fear is what finally made me go and see the GP and get some help. As much as I'd like to, I know I can't keep them with me forever and I've got to learn to cope with letting them go. It's so hard though.

Have you been to your doctors about this?

Take care

Rachel

[Linny]

hi,
the bbq was really good. i really enjoyed myself. the only downfall was when i got home and found a rash on my son. it really looked like the meningitus rash and i was scared. my partner thought it was nothing as he was well in himself. he still has the rash today but isn't ill so i am trying not to panic about it.
i wish my partner could understand me though as he was annoyed with the way i was stressing about it.

scattycat, i went to the doctor a couple of years ago. i explained how i just couldn't stop worrying and she gave me betablockers. she also said that if i start to feel down and sad to come back. i didn't take the betablockers because a) i was scared of the side effects and b) didn't think they would stop my worrying thoughts.
i am considering asking for anti depressants but i'm not sure.
are you taking medication?

[scatty_cat]

Hi again Linny

I'm glad you went the BBQ - you probably would have felt really annoyed with yourself if you hadn't gone.

Maybe your sons rash was a bit of a heat rash? I know it's hard not to worry that they're ill but I'm sure he would have shown some other symptoms if he was poorly.

Yes, I've been on Citalopram for about 6 weeks now and I think it has helped both with the depression and the anxiety.

I decided to go and get help because I felt that this panic was controlling my life. Why not go back to your GP and see what they suggest.

Best wishes
Rachel

[carlin]

Hi there, am so happy you went to the bbq, I am more than certain your son will be fine, try not to examine them to much, you will only pass on your fears, as has been said, it could be a heat rash, give him a nice bath, tuck him up and enjoy the rest of the week-end. You did so well to go, you were so worried but you did it!!! Good for you mate. xx