feeling unbieliveably worthless and low

[br19893]

I realise this is a bit whiney but I need to get it out and this is the only place I can. I thought I was doing so well with recovery I listened to the counsellors advice on getting out more but iv been like this for so iv drifted apart from a lot of my old friends and now no one ever invites me anywhere anymore. Iv tried To arrange things but people are usually busy. Then my brother calls me lazy and worthless which makes me Feel even worse about myself.
Yesterday I had a uni interview and I got so nervous that I messed the whole thong up. Anxiety has ruined my life and even when I make the effort to get better the people around me just make me Feel bad again. I used to be confident and full of energy now I have no friends and zero self confidence. I don't see anything ever getting better, I keep having urges to end it because I don't see me ever being that person again :(

[mollymalloy]

Dearest, don't even consider that last part please, sounds like you are young since you talk about uni... your whole life is ahead of you. You will get better and you will make new friends, just hang in there. Brothers can say things that they don't really mean. Don't take it to heart.
YOU ARE WORTH IT, AND YOU MUST BELIEVE IT!

[Beckybooboo]

Hi Honey,

It seems as if you're going through a pretty tough time at the moment, don't apologize for being "whiney" because you're not, you're being honest with your present feelings and venting them which then prevents you from currently ruminating.

I'm going through the exact same thing as you at the moment, it's almost as if I don't remember my place in the world anymore, my favourite colour, what I like, what I don't like, ETC.

I tell you what always makes me feel good, ignore the phone, turn off the lights and hop under a massive duvet with lots of feel good films. Step Brothers is one of my favourites and it always seems to lighten me up.

Although I don't know how to eliminate anxiety, I do know how to make others feel better. Please don't let yourself down on this one, you've been happy before and you WILL be happy again. Life is a huuuuge roller coaster and we've got to go through it. Like I always say, wouldn't you prefer sunshine after the rain instead of calm before the storm?

Think about it. Take care, stay true to you.

[br19893]

Thanks for your kind words, I think wev all been here at one point. I just never thought recovery would be this hard :( I need to get away from my brother because he's the main reason I feel like this. He makes me feel bad for being bad, and I know that siblings always argue but this is different he's just a bully.
I would never harm myself or attempt anything but its worrying me how much I just want to give up recently. I just want to be back to normal but I still don't know exactly how to do that. Thanks Becky I'm going to try the bed and film idea now :)
Good luck to both of you aswell! X

---------- Post added at 20:06 ---------- Previous post was at 20:05 ----------

Feel bad for feeling bad*

[Beckybooboo]

Glad you feel as if you're getting there honey, it's always a positive sign!

Just keep in mind your progress, not your defeat. x