cheeky monkey
29-06-06, 15:49
Hi
I still seem to be struggling with home life still, I thought things would be ok when I gave up work, but even though I thought the finanical side was sorted it isn't, we had another letter today saying that the phone company is taking legal action against us. I thought my husband had sorted it. Even though it was him that told me to stop working he seems to be holding this against me, even though Im trying to get some money together through ebay, and Lea and I do a carboot when we can.
Lea says i have done well in the last few weeks as there have been a couple of occassions when I would of hurt myself, but I seemed to have controlled it.
My husband is still trying to get to me as one min he is ok, but then he turns funny and unhelpful, If I ask him to help he moans but then on the other hand he drops everything to help his mum. I don't know if he is slowly trying to turn me mad or make me hurt myself.
I have been trying to control my depression by other means, the swimming is working though sometimes when we are there I get real panicky especially if people come towards me this happened the other day when a group of friends started to come towards me, this made me feel hemmed in. We have also been doing a few dog shows which my dogs have done really well. Tomorrow is going to be a test, as me and Lea and 2 of the dogs are going to a dog display team meeting, as I feel I would like to have a go at this, its going to be in a village hall so I hope its not going to be too crowded.
We still haven't heard from my sister, which real upsets me, but I try and hide from Lea and Steve, as the dates are getting nearer.
I have been doing more of my artwork recently and I had a commission from someone in America. And Im still writing I found a site which lets you put your work on and professional writers comment on it. I have noticed that the last few articles ive written seem to be about life when I was a child and written as a childs view, even though my childhood wasn't good I can't understand why I should write like this. Before I got sectioned this is how I would write about things, my care worker at the time said I went like this before I did bad things, so sometimes I worry about it, in case its starting again, especially as I have those dates on my mind all the time.
Well thanks for listerning
Take Care
Susie
I still seem to be struggling with home life still, I thought things would be ok when I gave up work, but even though I thought the finanical side was sorted it isn't, we had another letter today saying that the phone company is taking legal action against us. I thought my husband had sorted it. Even though it was him that told me to stop working he seems to be holding this against me, even though Im trying to get some money together through ebay, and Lea and I do a carboot when we can.
Lea says i have done well in the last few weeks as there have been a couple of occassions when I would of hurt myself, but I seemed to have controlled it.
My husband is still trying to get to me as one min he is ok, but then he turns funny and unhelpful, If I ask him to help he moans but then on the other hand he drops everything to help his mum. I don't know if he is slowly trying to turn me mad or make me hurt myself.
I have been trying to control my depression by other means, the swimming is working though sometimes when we are there I get real panicky especially if people come towards me this happened the other day when a group of friends started to come towards me, this made me feel hemmed in. We have also been doing a few dog shows which my dogs have done really well. Tomorrow is going to be a test, as me and Lea and 2 of the dogs are going to a dog display team meeting, as I feel I would like to have a go at this, its going to be in a village hall so I hope its not going to be too crowded.
We still haven't heard from my sister, which real upsets me, but I try and hide from Lea and Steve, as the dates are getting nearer.
I have been doing more of my artwork recently and I had a commission from someone in America. And Im still writing I found a site which lets you put your work on and professional writers comment on it. I have noticed that the last few articles ive written seem to be about life when I was a child and written as a childs view, even though my childhood wasn't good I can't understand why I should write like this. Before I got sectioned this is how I would write about things, my care worker at the time said I went like this before I did bad things, so sometimes I worry about it, in case its starting again, especially as I have those dates on my mind all the time.
Well thanks for listerning
Take Care
Susie