This is what I have learned today.......

[jollywalrus]

I have always ridden a green bike with a basket on the front and a child seat on the back, even though my children are all in double figures. Because of this I am always easily recognisable and I always talk to everyone I meet on my travels. When I ask people how they are, they usually tell me, just because I'm that sort of person.
But today I decided I would tell people how I am instead. I am always amazed at the high number of people who are supposed to suffer just like me, but I never actually see any of them wobbling in the street, so I wanted to see if I admitted my problem, whether anyone else would.

My first person was the husband of a very good friend. He is a Doctor. After some conversation, I discovered he was on his way to the mental health unit because he is suffering from anxiety disorder. I then met a neighbour, who after talking to me realised the attacks of not being able to breath properly which were troubling her, were panic attacks. I also met a lovely friend laden with shopping bags. After talking to her for over an hour, I discovered she was very agoraphobic, made herself go to town every day, and always carried lots of bags because they made her feel safe!

So, what I have learned today is that yes, there are many of us, but we all seem to do a very good job of hiding our problems. I don't know if that is good or bad, but I know it is very comforting to know.

Best wishes,
Christine

[Jules31]

Yes it's surprising how many of us are lurking about. Don't you just get sick though of covering things up all of the time. I'm having a really bad time at the moment guess what no-one knows other than Dave and you guys. I just stood queuing in Boots, feeling like I would keel over any minute and thought how I wished I was like all the other people going round just taking feeling ok for granted. What I would do to swop shoes with them, but I wonder how many were thinking the same thing?

Jules

[Lilith]

Ya know what? Even though I've told my mother and sisters, I'm still hiding it and covering up in some ways. I have explained to them that I am getting better and learning ways to control the anxiety and panic, but if I have an attack, or feel I can't go out of the house one day, I will usually make up an excuse, because otherwise they would be on me again to "get help." It's too tiring to deal with their desire to help me. And my mom is very concerned (as I would be if it were my daughter) but it's just easier to say I'm staying home waiting for a repairman than because I'm panicking again. Sigh.

[Tessie28]

hi,
i find it hard to talk about as if by talking about it it will happen more often[:o)]. that is why the site is so good[^][^].
it has also made me realise that my mum suffered with similar and became agrophobic in later years.
anyway heres to the power of posting and the relief it brings to us :)
love tess

[paulgray]

great thread. has really made me think about all the 'normal' people you see in the street, at the shops. that might just be feeling bad inside.reminded me of this really hard, stern woman at a joint therapy session I once attended. never smiled or joined in the comeraderie. on her turn to talk. she had suffered the most applaing abuse as a child and broke down completely. stern was the only way she could hold it together. made me think about people and how i judged them

[stimpy]

Funny isn't it.
We are the only ones suffering, yet there are thousands of people just like us.

And it isn't just the average man on the street.
Johnny Depp
Donny Osmand
Barbara Streisand
Sir Laurence Olivier
Kim Basinger
Sir Isaac Newton
Nicholas Cage

They all suffer too.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[benoo5]

christine its strange that you have posted this,as this morning,i was walking along croydon high street,when i saw a friend of many years walking in the opposite direction,i didnt call out to him,as i was late for a meeting...on my way home,i passed his house,and lo and behold,he came out with his wife...hey i said,saw you in croydon earlier...his reply was...wish i knew bryan,i was having a terrible time,with my panics...i have known him about eight years,he knew i was a paramedic,but not once did he mention his problems to me...but thats over now,cos i will give him as much help and support ,that ime able to...thats the trouble with us british...we dont ask for help,and we should,cos it brings out the best in other people...good post christine......bryan.

[vwestwood]

Hi Christine
Why dont we have more people like you. I have three children, two of them (boys of 32 and 27) both suffer with panic attacks and agorophobia.

Hi Bryan
You are so right about the British. I am british by nationality and have lived here nearly 33 years. Husband is English and I always confront with him about the tight-lipped attitude. I try to help my sons but often they reject my help - a very british thing I guess.
Perhaps it would be easier for them to talk to people who are not family.
Best to you Christine and Bryan.
V

[jollywalrus]

Hi everyone,
Just to add a little to my original posting. This morning I had to go to town. To get there I have to go over a bridge. I can measure how I am from that bridge - on a good day I can make it, on a bad day I often turn back. This morning I got to the half way point and panic descended. Not the "I can get there if I just keep going" panic, but the hyperventilating "I'm not gonna make it" kind. I couldn't decide wether to turn back or just collapse there, when an elderly gentleman asked me if I was ok. My face obviously betrayed me. I told him I was having a panic attack (which because he was talking to me was beginning to subside). "Oh" he said "My wife gets those. Walk with me to the bottom of the bridge". And so we walked.

Of course I came home and cried. Not just at the endless frustration I feel because my life is so inhibited, but because that man showed me an act of kindness in my weary world, and he will never know how much I appreciated it.

Best wishes,
Christine

[kate]

Hiya Christine,

There ARE a lot of good, understanding people in the world.

Whenever I have opened up and told someone a bit about my panic, if they are sympathetic in any way I always feel my eyes filling up, cos they haven't treated me as a freak.

I think we are all so terribly embarassed about opening up, that when we encounter genuine sympathy, we are just SO greatful that it really touches us deeply.

After I told people at work about some of my problems, out of 12 people, 1 actually suffered the same thing, several knew of people who suffered and none of them judged me in a negative way.

Just goes to show eh?

Take care

Kate x

[twister]

I tell practically everyone - that way I dont feel the pressure of having to hide it. Most people I tell have had panic attacks or anxiety and noone has ever acted in a negative way - and if they did then I'd just ignore them in future!

Emily

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad

[uryjm]

I've told quite a few people about panic attacks, but I'm not sure they really "get it". That's what I like about this forum. I can tell from the posts that the people here really understand what it is to suffer an attack, like Christine above describing her attempt to cross a bridge. Although I do believe a problem shared is a problem halved, in the end you have to take responsibility for yourself and find a way of dealing positively with this affliction and its effects on you. But, as I've posted before in this forum, when I'm feeling nervy I do take comfort from the fact that I know there are many people I've encountered here who are in the same boat and that I'm not alone.

Jim

[kate]

I agree, Jim!

So nice to be able to talk to people who REALLY know what you are going through.

Kate x