Hocd or gay?

[Fedex]

Hey my name is fedex I'm 18 male and have a gf of 11 months! I love my gf greatly however over the last 8 months I have had terrible anxiety over whether I have hocd or am in fact gay!
I have been having cbt for 6 months and have been on celexa for that time too! My cbt has helped greatly because when it first occured and these thoughts occurred I got extremely anxious, very emotional crying all the time and depressed! These thoughts and worries stopped me from
Carrying out my daily routine!
I sometimes now get anxious because I dont get anxious about the gay thoughts I still get!
When I was younger I felt like I was attracted to both sexes however this was during puberty and I feel a lot of people do this!
My biggest fear is that I am in denial and thy I will lose my gf! I always want to know if my love for my gf is what I'm meant to feel and whether I love her as much as other guys love their gfs! I am not attracted to any guys for example on tv like Ryan Reynolds or brad Pitt or anything like that! Not attracted to actors or anything on tv! I also can't see myself in a relationship with a guy!
Can you help! What's going on??? Reply ASAP! Thanks

[Jamesk]

You could (and I stress could) be bisexual, but what odds if you were?

If you love your GF and are sexually attracted to her you will simply face the dilemma which faces the whole world if you meet someone else you find more attractive or fall more deeply in love with, or if you fall out of love with her.

[WillyB]

'I sometimes now get anxious because I dont get anxious about the gay thoughts I still get! '

This is what's called the back door spike, anxious about not being anxious.



'I always want to know if my love for my gf is what I'm meant to feel and whether I love her as much as other guys love their gfs!'

This is the checking compulsion.

If you haven't already read thousands of articles on the internet which I did and most others do for reassurance, this one may be of some help to you but I really cannot stress enough how bad reassurance actually is for you.

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php

Hang in there bud, I've been there so I know how much of a black hole it feels, you'll get out of it.

[Rain]

I am sorry you are worrying so much about this. But when all is said and done, does it really matter if you are gay, straight or bisexual? Don't be in a massive hurry to put a fixed label on yourself. You are still very young. I'm sure you love your girlfriend for herself, not because she is a particular gender. In this day and age it is perfectly possible to be gay and extremely happy (I am). So even if you do decide you are gay at a later date, life will be just as good. Many people are attracted to a person, not to a particular sex, so as long as you are happy being with your girlfriend try not to fret over what particular pidgeon hole you fit into. We are all individuals and each of us is different in their own way. Try to enjoy being just who you are.

[paula lynne]

I agree with Rain ( Hi Rain :winks:)......dont be so quick to attatch a label to yourself. You love your girl, enjoy being together. Who knows what may happen in the future, but for now, just enjoy the moment you are in x