beckyrr
28-03-12, 21:46
Hi everyone
I've been reading this forum for a while and a lot of the comments have really helped me in the past, but I thought I should finally register and start contributing and I also need a bit of direct advice now I guess. Bare with me, it might be a long one...
I began suffering panic attacks which were fairly mild and not very often about 3 years ago when my parents divorced (I'm 23 now). I was also in a very bad relationship with someone who suffered terrible depression for his whole adult life and was taking medication for 5 years. I was very unhappy in the relationship and so I ended things. For about a year and a half I had no anxiety problems or panic attacks, I got my confidence back and everything was going really well.
Then a year ago (almost to the day) I had a really bad car accident, my nan passed away and I lost my job. Things started catapulting out of my control and I dealt with everything in my stride and focused on all the positives. Everything was very stressful but not once did it get the better of me as I had so much support from everyone around me. All of a sudden in November, I had the worst panic attack I have ever had. It was completely out of the blue and I literally felt like my thoughts were going crazy and I had a million different thoughts whizzing round my head. I managed to calm down but since then my anxiety has got so bad.
I was suffering so badly with anxiety (particularly about being ill, and panicking about having a panic attack in a public place) that I decided to go to the doctors. When I saw him I started crying, I think because it was really upsetting me and I was also quite embarrassed to admit I needed help as I have always been so independent. He immediately said that I was depressed, and needed medication. He prescribed me Citalopram and sent me off on my way feeling frightened and confused.
My problem is, I genuinely don't think I am depressed. I am a very happy person, I laugh all day, I'm motivated and ambitious but my anxiety is an issue. Since I saw the doctor my anxiety hs got even worse, as now I'm thinking 'oh I must be in denial, wow my mind really is out of control' and I now I have intrusive thoughts of suicide. I don't want to kill myself but I feel like since the doctor told me I'm depressed my mind has been in a constant battle trying to decide whether or not he was right.
I decided not to take the tablets and I absolutely think it was the right decision for me, as I'm so confused and really wasn't expecting that to be the outcome. I was hoping to be referred to a therapist for CBT for my anxiety.
It has made my anxiety a million times worse, and I now have this irrational fear that I am losing control and I'm fearful that I'm going to actually be depressed and suicidal, I also worry that if these thoughts are popping into my mind in the first place then maybe the doctor is right and I am actually depressed?
Has anyone else ever been told they are 'just depressed' but actually you are just suffering from anxiety? I know the two are very closely linked and that one can lead to the other, but I just hate that this doctor has planted doubt in my mind - leading to more fear of losing control of my mind/thoughts!!
Goodness me that was so long winded. To anyone who read all of that I congratulate you. I'm really looking for some words of comfort from anyone who has been misdiagnosed, or in a similar situation!!
x x x x x x x
I've been reading this forum for a while and a lot of the comments have really helped me in the past, but I thought I should finally register and start contributing and I also need a bit of direct advice now I guess. Bare with me, it might be a long one...
I began suffering panic attacks which were fairly mild and not very often about 3 years ago when my parents divorced (I'm 23 now). I was also in a very bad relationship with someone who suffered terrible depression for his whole adult life and was taking medication for 5 years. I was very unhappy in the relationship and so I ended things. For about a year and a half I had no anxiety problems or panic attacks, I got my confidence back and everything was going really well.
Then a year ago (almost to the day) I had a really bad car accident, my nan passed away and I lost my job. Things started catapulting out of my control and I dealt with everything in my stride and focused on all the positives. Everything was very stressful but not once did it get the better of me as I had so much support from everyone around me. All of a sudden in November, I had the worst panic attack I have ever had. It was completely out of the blue and I literally felt like my thoughts were going crazy and I had a million different thoughts whizzing round my head. I managed to calm down but since then my anxiety has got so bad.
I was suffering so badly with anxiety (particularly about being ill, and panicking about having a panic attack in a public place) that I decided to go to the doctors. When I saw him I started crying, I think because it was really upsetting me and I was also quite embarrassed to admit I needed help as I have always been so independent. He immediately said that I was depressed, and needed medication. He prescribed me Citalopram and sent me off on my way feeling frightened and confused.
My problem is, I genuinely don't think I am depressed. I am a very happy person, I laugh all day, I'm motivated and ambitious but my anxiety is an issue. Since I saw the doctor my anxiety hs got even worse, as now I'm thinking 'oh I must be in denial, wow my mind really is out of control' and I now I have intrusive thoughts of suicide. I don't want to kill myself but I feel like since the doctor told me I'm depressed my mind has been in a constant battle trying to decide whether or not he was right.
I decided not to take the tablets and I absolutely think it was the right decision for me, as I'm so confused and really wasn't expecting that to be the outcome. I was hoping to be referred to a therapist for CBT for my anxiety.
It has made my anxiety a million times worse, and I now have this irrational fear that I am losing control and I'm fearful that I'm going to actually be depressed and suicidal, I also worry that if these thoughts are popping into my mind in the first place then maybe the doctor is right and I am actually depressed?
Has anyone else ever been told they are 'just depressed' but actually you are just suffering from anxiety? I know the two are very closely linked and that one can lead to the other, but I just hate that this doctor has planted doubt in my mind - leading to more fear of losing control of my mind/thoughts!!
Goodness me that was so long winded. To anyone who read all of that I congratulate you. I'm really looking for some words of comfort from anyone who has been misdiagnosed, or in a similar situation!!
x x x x x x x