spurtmeister
29-03-12, 17:59
This is a long story, I apologise, I'll try to keep it as short as I can. Any advice, info, empathy or sympathy would be very welcome. 2 specific questions at the end.
I was on amitriptyline without a break from age 17-39, 22 years(ish). Prescribed for depression, my dose went as high as 100mg per night but varied from 50-100 over those years. 18 months ago (when the problems started) I was on 50mg per night.
So 18 months ago I was doing great, and had been for a long time. Feeling very healthy mentally and physically, not depressed, been good for a long time. I made the (with the benefit of hindsight DISASTROUS) decision to stop taking my amitriptyline...maybe I didn't need it anymore and was just taking it out of habit?! Never know until you try.
I had read you had to come off it gradually, and thought going to 25mg for a few days before stopping would be fine. So that's what I did. Within a few days I felt physically and mentally terrible...dizzy, exhausted, spaced out, stary eyes, inability to concentrate, shaky etc. Just withdrawal symptoms, grit your teeth and stick it out it will wear off.
6 months later, still felt just as bad. Had to admit defeat very reluctantly and take action. Obviously just go straight back on 50mg of good old amitriptyline and I'll be fine, I thought...
Did that. Did help with the issues described above. But I encountered a rare side effect of amitriptyline (fast irregular heart rate, palpitations, heart thumping, feel of swaying or rocking while motionless). Pretty crazy as I'd been on this drug for 2 decades without any serious issues! Did try to put up with it for a while but it was truly unbearable, sitting still it felt like being in a rocking chair, felt I was going to faint several times a day (but never did thankfully).
Went back to GP and he was very worried by this, took me off amitriptyline and put me into citalopram. The 'rocking' etc stopped but spaced out etc feelings came back, felt even worse than before, don't think citalopram agreed with me.
So about 6 months ago (with knowledge of GP) stopped citalopram and tried just 10mg of amitriptyline. Side effects were there but bearable, helped with other problems a bit. After 2 months the 'rocking' seemed to disappear and I increased to 20mg. 'Rocking' etc returned but not too bad and eventually died down. Increased to 25mg 2 weeks ago and that's where I am now.
So the plan, such as it is, is to try and work my way up to 50mg gradually and hope that gets me somewhere. But I'm halfway there already and feel shocking. My symptoms seem to tally with total exhaustion bordering on sleep deprivation, the way you'd feel if you only had 2 hours sleep a night. Can't think straight, can't concentrate, stare into space, have trouble performing fairly simple tasks when I used to be a very capable employee. Thankfully I am holding my job down at the mo but it is taking a real effort on my part.
My 2 main questions are...
1. Could my actions (being on 50-100mg for over 20 years, then very suddenly stopping) have fried some part of my brain beyond repair? Am I wasting time trying different things...when really I'm just stuck like this with no way back.
2. Is it all a sleep thing? All the issues I have are also symptoms of severe exhaustion. I do get 8 hours sleep a night pretty much, and if I make the effort to get a killer night's sleep (say 10 hours) it does help a little the next day. I know amitriptyline affects sleep, REM sleep in particular, so wonder if my quality of sleep is the main thing that's screwed up. And if so, what can I dom about that?
Could have said a lot more detail, but who'd read all that! Any comments appreciated...
I was on amitriptyline without a break from age 17-39, 22 years(ish). Prescribed for depression, my dose went as high as 100mg per night but varied from 50-100 over those years. 18 months ago (when the problems started) I was on 50mg per night.
So 18 months ago I was doing great, and had been for a long time. Feeling very healthy mentally and physically, not depressed, been good for a long time. I made the (with the benefit of hindsight DISASTROUS) decision to stop taking my amitriptyline...maybe I didn't need it anymore and was just taking it out of habit?! Never know until you try.
I had read you had to come off it gradually, and thought going to 25mg for a few days before stopping would be fine. So that's what I did. Within a few days I felt physically and mentally terrible...dizzy, exhausted, spaced out, stary eyes, inability to concentrate, shaky etc. Just withdrawal symptoms, grit your teeth and stick it out it will wear off.
6 months later, still felt just as bad. Had to admit defeat very reluctantly and take action. Obviously just go straight back on 50mg of good old amitriptyline and I'll be fine, I thought...
Did that. Did help with the issues described above. But I encountered a rare side effect of amitriptyline (fast irregular heart rate, palpitations, heart thumping, feel of swaying or rocking while motionless). Pretty crazy as I'd been on this drug for 2 decades without any serious issues! Did try to put up with it for a while but it was truly unbearable, sitting still it felt like being in a rocking chair, felt I was going to faint several times a day (but never did thankfully).
Went back to GP and he was very worried by this, took me off amitriptyline and put me into citalopram. The 'rocking' etc stopped but spaced out etc feelings came back, felt even worse than before, don't think citalopram agreed with me.
So about 6 months ago (with knowledge of GP) stopped citalopram and tried just 10mg of amitriptyline. Side effects were there but bearable, helped with other problems a bit. After 2 months the 'rocking' seemed to disappear and I increased to 20mg. 'Rocking' etc returned but not too bad and eventually died down. Increased to 25mg 2 weeks ago and that's where I am now.
So the plan, such as it is, is to try and work my way up to 50mg gradually and hope that gets me somewhere. But I'm halfway there already and feel shocking. My symptoms seem to tally with total exhaustion bordering on sleep deprivation, the way you'd feel if you only had 2 hours sleep a night. Can't think straight, can't concentrate, stare into space, have trouble performing fairly simple tasks when I used to be a very capable employee. Thankfully I am holding my job down at the mo but it is taking a real effort on my part.
My 2 main questions are...
1. Could my actions (being on 50-100mg for over 20 years, then very suddenly stopping) have fried some part of my brain beyond repair? Am I wasting time trying different things...when really I'm just stuck like this with no way back.
2. Is it all a sleep thing? All the issues I have are also symptoms of severe exhaustion. I do get 8 hours sleep a night pretty much, and if I make the effort to get a killer night's sleep (say 10 hours) it does help a little the next day. I know amitriptyline affects sleep, REM sleep in particular, so wonder if my quality of sleep is the main thing that's screwed up. And if so, what can I dom about that?
Could have said a lot more detail, but who'd read all that! Any comments appreciated...