Anxiety and relationships/sex

[AnxiousAnnie18]

I'm 18 years old (soon 19) and I've never had a boyfriend due to my anxiety. I just wondered if anyone is the same? The thought of having a boyfriend or going on dates etc scares the hell out of me but on the other hand it is something I'd like... I often feel embarrassed that I haven't had a boyfriend/sex the more time goes on and the older I get as I feel everyone judges you as wierd or being a virgin is laughable as in this day and age 13 year olds have boyfriends and people start having sex really young! I'm feeling really worried and pressured by this :(

[Ingenious]

I think that is one of the toughest things about anxiety in that you know you want to have a relationship but the bits that come with it - meeting new people, socialising, even telling someone that you suffer from this or that - can stop you doing so. In my experience of life now I am more than halfway through it (ie. becoming an oldie) I can say that you will at some point meet the right person where your life issues are not a problem. But there is no rush, you are young and life is long. And never, ever feel pressurised by not losing your virginity yet - isn't it better to wait for the right person and the right time, than lose it just to tick a box?

[hwise05]

Hiya Annie,

I am 17, nearly 18 and I can totally relate to these feelings. However I do agree with Ingenious above that its better to wait until you find the right person. Whoever that is will not judge you for what you suffer with and if they do then they obviously aren't the right person. I know its very easy and obvious to say that if people judge you because of your anxiety or being a virgin then they aren't worth knowing and often life isn't as simple as that however it does ring true. Please feel free to message me 24/7 and its nice to see a youngster on here like me :)

Helen

[soulcrosses]

I'd have to agree with the two posts above! Waiting for someone who is willing to accept you and support you through the tough periods of your life is absolutely crucial! If you find yourself falling for someone who is not supportive, your anxiety would probably increase a lot due to added insecurities. Just concentrate on getting yourself better.. I know it's hard, and it sickens me that in our modern day society that being a virgin is almost frowned upon. Sex can be overrated. Also, sex without love is pointless (in my opinion, antway(. Try not to worry about it too much. Your time will come, I promise..

[Julianne]

Hi,

It is only our perception of societal and peer pressure that makes us think we must follow certain rules.

Be your own person, it is your life and you only get one so don't feel under any pressure to conform to anything. Sex and relationships will come in time, when the time is right. In the meantime stop worrying that you are in any way abnormal because you are not, you are you and it is your life not anyone elses so always remember this and live by your own code.

blessings