Jemshads
30-03-12, 00:17
Hey guys. I've had some problems lately, and I just don't feel ''right'' anymore. Nothing is going my way and I just feel socially depressed. Here are some things that have been happening, you don't have to read them all..
- Best friend told me he doesn't want nothing to do with me no more, he was my only ''lad'' mate, although I feel better after a month I still kinda feel lost.
- A lot of people do not like me because I have always stood up for what I believe. I took my own way and got away from the drugs and drink.
- I'm gay. No one knows this, no one at my school is gay and my parents are homophobic. It is annoying me as I would like to come out sooner rather than later as I don't feel right within myself. I feel like I'm living a lie, not living as myself. Not open to anyone.
- Currently got problems with my legs which I've had for 4 months. I'm in pain everyday. Made worse by exercise. ''Growing pains'' according to Doctors. I don't think it is, personally.
- Lacking any confidence, lost all desire to do well, lost all ambition to do well in school, etc.
- Lately I've been getting insults from my ''friends'' (They are nice people, they've just decided to be idiots to me and I don't know why?) They do it jokingly, but they'll take the mick out my accent, things like that.
- The guy I liked I was really close too and he was really close too me, now he's just stopped talking to me basically and is funny with me. He does the insults too. But I know he's don't mean it in a harsh way and I just want to be close to him again..
So yeah. I just don't feel right within myself. I don't have much to do, I don't go out with anyone. I just sit at home, thinking about things. Its like, as stupid as it sounds, I hate people. It just feels everyone I'm around judges me, doesn't like me, etc. I'm starting to think its me the problem. I just feel like walking, and walking, and getting away from it all. Life just doesn't feel right and I'm not happy at all anymore. I've been to the doctors and they say I have anxiety, and I don't even know if I do. Its just something in my head isn't right anymore. There isn't that spark.
I don't even know what my question is, just advice would be nice.. I'll post this in a few sections.
- Best friend told me he doesn't want nothing to do with me no more, he was my only ''lad'' mate, although I feel better after a month I still kinda feel lost.
- A lot of people do not like me because I have always stood up for what I believe. I took my own way and got away from the drugs and drink.
- I'm gay. No one knows this, no one at my school is gay and my parents are homophobic. It is annoying me as I would like to come out sooner rather than later as I don't feel right within myself. I feel like I'm living a lie, not living as myself. Not open to anyone.
- Currently got problems with my legs which I've had for 4 months. I'm in pain everyday. Made worse by exercise. ''Growing pains'' according to Doctors. I don't think it is, personally.
- Lacking any confidence, lost all desire to do well, lost all ambition to do well in school, etc.
- Lately I've been getting insults from my ''friends'' (They are nice people, they've just decided to be idiots to me and I don't know why?) They do it jokingly, but they'll take the mick out my accent, things like that.
- The guy I liked I was really close too and he was really close too me, now he's just stopped talking to me basically and is funny with me. He does the insults too. But I know he's don't mean it in a harsh way and I just want to be close to him again..
So yeah. I just don't feel right within myself. I don't have much to do, I don't go out with anyone. I just sit at home, thinking about things. Its like, as stupid as it sounds, I hate people. It just feels everyone I'm around judges me, doesn't like me, etc. I'm starting to think its me the problem. I just feel like walking, and walking, and getting away from it all. Life just doesn't feel right and I'm not happy at all anymore. I've been to the doctors and they say I have anxiety, and I don't even know if I do. Its just something in my head isn't right anymore. There isn't that spark.
I don't even know what my question is, just advice would be nice.. I'll post this in a few sections.