GirlAfraid23
30-03-12, 17:19
I have had a week off due to having annual leave to use up. My anxiety levels haven't gone down completley but I am feelig more relaxed than usual.
I don't want to go back tomorrow, its really getting to me that I'm tied into this job until I hand in my notice...which will be soon as some people may have read in other posts I am moving on to another career - teaching.
I think I have some kind of "phobia" of working, if there is such a thing? Let me explain...everytime I get a job I am happy & do it for a few weeks sometimes months & then I start feeling unhappy and restless and feel I have to leave, after calling in sick alot too.
I've been in this job for over a year now - the longest job I've had so far! And I just can't wait to leave but then my brain kicks in and I realise I am going into a career where I can't be like this and I HAVE to be capable & not call in sick/hate the job etc. As this is only retail, it doesn't cause huge problems but its still an issue of course.
I am very worried I will never be able to be a "real person" with a career, money etc. I don't want people to think i'm lazy & I also dont want my friends to think badly of me.
The only thing I can think of is getting pregnant (extreme I know!) so I don't have to work and can be a full time mum without judgements - I would also have an excuse then. Obviously I know bringing up a child is just as stressful, if not moreso but the issue I have with work, employment, routine and being tied down to something for the rest of my life scares the hell out of me!
I have worked hard at university to get a degree but even that doesnt motivate me. I don't understand how people can go into a job day in, day out, especially one they hate, we only get one chance at life & most hours are spent working and being down/sad about it.
I understand people have to earn money and of course I love payday just like everyone else but just want to know if anyone is similar?
---------- Post added at 17:19 ---------- Previous post was at 17:15 ----------
Just as an add-on: My parents/family dont understand and think I'm just lazy and selfish and want to rely on others for the rest of my life.
I also get very sick before going into work sometimes & live in the past alot remembering times spent at university when I was young, carefree and had no obligations. I enjoyed my life then and anxiety was at a lower level, probably because I lived for the moment & spent most of my time looking forward to nights out, meeting new people and drinking too much...
I don't want to go back tomorrow, its really getting to me that I'm tied into this job until I hand in my notice...which will be soon as some people may have read in other posts I am moving on to another career - teaching.
I think I have some kind of "phobia" of working, if there is such a thing? Let me explain...everytime I get a job I am happy & do it for a few weeks sometimes months & then I start feeling unhappy and restless and feel I have to leave, after calling in sick alot too.
I've been in this job for over a year now - the longest job I've had so far! And I just can't wait to leave but then my brain kicks in and I realise I am going into a career where I can't be like this and I HAVE to be capable & not call in sick/hate the job etc. As this is only retail, it doesn't cause huge problems but its still an issue of course.
I am very worried I will never be able to be a "real person" with a career, money etc. I don't want people to think i'm lazy & I also dont want my friends to think badly of me.
The only thing I can think of is getting pregnant (extreme I know!) so I don't have to work and can be a full time mum without judgements - I would also have an excuse then. Obviously I know bringing up a child is just as stressful, if not moreso but the issue I have with work, employment, routine and being tied down to something for the rest of my life scares the hell out of me!
I have worked hard at university to get a degree but even that doesnt motivate me. I don't understand how people can go into a job day in, day out, especially one they hate, we only get one chance at life & most hours are spent working and being down/sad about it.
I understand people have to earn money and of course I love payday just like everyone else but just want to know if anyone is similar?
---------- Post added at 17:19 ---------- Previous post was at 17:15 ----------
Just as an add-on: My parents/family dont understand and think I'm just lazy and selfish and want to rely on others for the rest of my life.
I also get very sick before going into work sometimes & live in the past alot remembering times spent at university when I was young, carefree and had no obligations. I enjoyed my life then and anxiety was at a lower level, probably because I lived for the moment & spent most of my time looking forward to nights out, meeting new people and drinking too much...