oh god something else!

[miss sparkle]

hi all.
i don't want to write a long drawn out post,but to cut a really long story short, all started back in Dec. Had alot of dizziness and depersonisasion and general rubbish feeling throughout Jan-Feb, (obviously had a brain tumor)
anyway had blood tests, which were ok.
just started to feel better and found a br-east lump about a month ago, got refereed had ultrasound, told it was just tissue, but this has completely put me back.
Im not convinced about my lump, i still think i have breast cancer and also i have aches in my neck and back which i am convinced is cancer spreading.
to top it off, i now have discomfort around my rib area and after giving my neck a good feel i can feel my nodes which i am pretty sure haven't been raised before.
i am a mum of 2, happily married, and consider myself FAIRLY intelligent, and these this are all real!
help.

[beauty2010]

Hi
I know. You just start to get over one thing and then you find something else. This is what I do - I get a symptom - or maybe my kids do (its normally the kids). Then I google it (the shame!) and I find out what disease it might be (never anything not serious of course) and I find out what associated signs and symptoms I should look for. Then I look for them, and lo and behold I find them, or if I don't actually find them, I cannot convince myself they are not there. Actually I googled to reassure myself, but I end up thinking I am going to die or one of my children are. Then I start thinking about how awful it would be, the funerals, the grief................
You know how it goes.
Before this, I had an assumption of good health, and that all was well. Now I am sure something is going to go wrong.
At your age, most people are fine most of the time.
Also, if you prod you can always find lumps to worry about. I have one in my cheek that has been there for years and years.
Hugs
B

---------- Post added at 21:22 ---------- Previous post was at 21:20 ----------

PS - lymph nodes that you can feel are quite normal. B

[miss sparkle]

Thankyou for your reply beauty.
oh yes, the funeral arrangements are currently my favorite thought-how crazy!
i just keep thinking whatever it is, i have to catch it early else i have no chance, which of course means completely obsessing about every ache and twinge!
i have thought about going back doctors, but when i think what i would say
'oh hi, i know i just got my breast lump checked, but Im afraid you are all wrong, and it is in fact cancer that has spread . . . ' i mean for gods sake! lol
i woke up thinking about it this morning and making myself feel worst.