I did it!!

[MaryMac]

Hi everyone, I've not been on here for a few weeks but thought I'd give a little update. The last 5 months have been dreadful for my HA, convinced I have leukemia or lymphoma and obsessively checking google for symptoms. However a couple of weeks ago, my holiday came round and I was sort of dreading it because of the thoughts... "What if I get ill on the plane?" "What if I get ill over there and need treatment?" "What if... what if... what if..."
I have to say, despite usual my anxiety over the flight, (always hated flying!) I had an ABSOLUTE BALL. There was NO anxiety and I felt better and ate better than I have in months. I had such a great time and I caught myself thinking several times "why have I wasted so much time?"
I didn't want to come home, but here I am! Still feel slightly jetlagged (well I hope that's what it is ) But the whole trip gave me a renewed vigour and I am going to start living my life the way it should be lived. I've been having little seeds of doubt in the last couple of days, I still have what I think is an enlarged lymph node, I feel tired, and have had itchy skin but my common sense tells me that it's probably not an enlarged node and I'm overreacting, I'm jetlagged, my skin is dry because I was out in the sun so much and got a little bit burnt. (Bad me!)
All in all, a fabulous time and I hope this feeling of non-anxiety lasts and I hope you are all doing well. xx

[Veronica H]

:yesyes::bighug1:That is great news. Well done.

Vx

[mollymalloy]

Hi and so happy that you had a blast on your holiday. I have had similar feeling of waisting my time with all this worry and have also decided to live again and enjoy life.
Thanks for sharing!

---------- Post added at 19:34 ---------- Previous post was at 19:32 ----------

[Oink]

Nice one. This proves that you have it in you to feel normal, forget the anxiety and enjoy yourself.

I suffer HA too. Sometimes doctor really does know best. Don't let your mind bluff you!


Oink

[angel wings]

Great news so pleased you enjoyed yourself well done :)

[snowgoose]

I love this post Marymac :D

So pleased that you had lovely time and have renewed strength now to put this hell out your life .
Get those photos out and plan next trip now even if it is a bit time away !!!
snow:hugs:

[MaryMac]

Thanks everyone! Don't get me wrong, I think I'm still A LONG way from being completely ok but I can reason things out now and not jump to the worst conclusion which is usually cancer! It seems like when I relax, any "symptoms" seem to fade. So if we can all learn to relax all the time and get other things to occupy our minds with, I think we'd all feel alot better. :) xx

[JMR]

Hi again Mary...
Just been reading your other posts, after your kind reply to my latest fear. I can't believe how similiar we feel about HA. We are supposed to be going away for a short break (all booked and paid for) this next week, but of course the situation with Mum in Law means we may not be able to go if things change...but that aside, I don't feel I can go, because I have become frightened that I may be ill while away, and more so I just feel I can't enjoy anything due to my worries. I can't seem to distract myself from the thinking..the only relief comes when I go to sleep though I sometimes even dream about symptoms.
Again, I'm trying to take your positive thinking on board and learn from your experience. SO glad you had a great holiday & that you are currently doing so well in combat with HA!

[Melon1]

So Happy for you... it is amazing what a holiday can do for the soul.... and expecially anxiety. Am off to Spain in August and just cant wait to chill out for 2 weeks..... x

[honeyb]

Well done x