I feel I have lost everything...

[Liziik]

Hi all :)
I'm probably doing the worst thing possible and laying in bed thinking. Thinking over what I had a few years ago to what I have now. Which is nothing, no job, no friends and now no boyfriend who has finally had enough and left me after 4 years. I don't have a social life anymore I don't do anything and have had to start claiming benefits for but I hate trying to have to 'prove' I have anxiety. I'm just stuck and feeling so alone and right now I feel quite selfish for moaning about it no idea why! Lol also I'm 23 I feel like my life is going by so fast and I've missed out on so many years with so many regrets.
Also another quick question does anyone ever feel like their desperate to get better yet haven't got the get go or willpower to even try so you sort of give in even though it's not what you want to do? Make sense? I hope so! Lol
Any way i will stop going on now could type all night! Lol
L x
P.s sorry for any spelling mistakes I'm using a small phone! Lol

[kittikat]

Sometimes when anxiety 'takes over' you do get that feeling that you just don't have the energy to resist it any more. So, yes that does make sense. It looks like you are having a really tough time ATM so maybe a trip to the docs to offload? I don't think it has to be like this, have you had any therapy? Maybe it's something you could consider or re-visit. You certainly are not alone in your anxiety. Most of us here have our cross to bear. I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time. Things can and will get better, you may just need a helping hand along the way. Take care. kitti :)

[rock chick]

Firstly I really want you to have this! :bighug1:

You majorly reminded yourself of me, I tend to regret the past & stress about the future but have trouble staying in the moment.

I have no job, no friends I see, haven't had a boyfriend in years & feel like I'm just missing out on the good things happening I could be part of and many missed chances & dwell too much on mistakes I made.

I really agree with kittikat about possibly getting on some meds & therapy, the meds might just to help you get the strength to fight this battle. I feel therapy is better in the long run for most people but in combination they give you a great chance of success.

Yeah I know I have been lacking the strength to fight back at this horrible anxiety too! I'm ashamed to say I never went back to see my therapist after 1 session & am trying to gather the strength to go back because I have the desire but the work needed freaks me out a bit.

I dunno if this will help but ask yourself do you want to stay the way you are now? I'm guessing the answer would be NO! How would you feel if you knew there were possible ways that may be difficult but can get you feeling better in the long run, would you want it even if you didn't feel you have the strength right now? Again a guess but I'd say you'd probably say YES! So you know what the tools are, you know you want to get better, you now need the strength to take steps to use those tools. Look inside yourself and realise that strength is there, it's just been hidden by the anxiety, you can find it again!

[Ingenious]

The knowledge that you must change - that you HAVE to do something - but having no willpower to do it, is one of life's great mysteries :) If only we could flick a switch and get motivated to change. But anxiety and depression can make action all but impossible sometimes. Don't be hard on yourself in this respect. You're clearly having a tough time so it is only human to feel sapped of strength to fix your situation. Get some professional help and advice. Although it won't seem like it now, you might look back on this point many years in the future and say "That was the point where my life changed - from there I went on to get a new job, in time, that I loved, and new friends...". There is always hope.

[Firehead]

Liziik,
I too am gripped by that paradox. I don't what to be as I am, I even know how to change (via therapy, it does help) but I just can't muster the motivation.
What I do is just keep trying. When I do have an "energised moment" I pounce on it and make a little progress. It's slow but it does add-up over time.