hurtssomuch
01-07-06, 12:21
i have been here for some time but i have been gone for a while, i have PTSD, i suffer night terrors, flashbacks, severe depression, and because of emotional hardships i do get suicidal at times, i also have very mild agoraphobia, i am from california, but right now i reside in new orleans, (and yes it is very bad here, the devastation is worse then any of you can imagine, the world seems to think new orleans has recovered, it hasnt, about 55% of the houses are back in livable condition, only 15 % of the buisnesses have returned, and the crime rate it at an alkl time high, the govener has called in the natanal guard to help stop all the killings going on here), i am a carpenter, plumber, electracain, mason, ect.... right now i am the foreman of a constrution company, i write poetry, if you can call having a vioce pop into your head and recite poetry writing, then yes i write, somewhere in side me my sub contious writes these to cope with every day life, i have posted them before, so hetre are a few that have come sincce moving to new orleans,
<center>
I AM THE MOON
Each night I lay me down to sleep,
My broken hearted eyes do weep,
For me there shall be, no other one,
I am the moon, and you are the sun,
I dwell in darkness, without your light,
This love I have, I can not fight,
Forever to live, so far away,
When I am the night, and you are the day,
For what is the moon without your light,
An unseen speck, adrift in plight,
I am but a shadow, without the sun,
My day is ending, when yours has begun,
Cold and lifeless, adrift in space,
My only warmth, comes from your face,
A universe, touched by your gaze,
So many worlds lit by your rays,
For you are the sun, and I am the moon,
You are the wind, and I am the dune,
I am the mountain, and you are the sky,
And I will always love you, till the day I die,
When the eyes of the sky do cry,
Its the warmth of the sun,
that makes them dry,
YOU MAKE ME
Loneness wraps its cold arms around me,
And sorrow creeps in, like a long lost friend,
And these tears I cry over a loveless life,
Only leave when my eyes close, and I pretend,
For in my dreams there is only a vision,
And for the rest of my life, all I see or do,
Shall be but pour shadows and memories,
Of the time spent, when I was holding you,
For no lover scorned, no child born,
No family friend, shall comprehend,
The love my heart, that I will impart,
From this day on, until I am gone,
Forever is a very long time,
But it is made infinite, without your love,
Of all that I am,
all that I could be, you are the best of,
What makes me , me,
WHAT WILL BE
A broken heart,
It is sad but true,
Makes all the days,
Seem oh so blue,
But we have time,
To heal the scars,
I lost the word,
The word is ours,
As said alone,
And with apart,
There comes and end,
And then a start,
So do not deny,
A forlorn love,
The freedom given,
A little dove,
If a love you had,
Has flown away,
Do not become,
A bird of prey,
Do not use words,
Don’t scream and shout,
You only plant,
The seeds of doubt,
Let things settle,
And soon you will see,
What is meant to happen,
What will be, will be,
BEHIND MINE EYES
There’s a darkened passage,
That traverses time and space,
A self-absorbed enigma,
Hidden by the face,
Behind mine eyes,
There’s a theater of life,
It plays the days a trilogy,
That cuts me like a knife,
History is the story,
Of most men it’s told,
Add some horror and tragedy,
That’s when the story’s sold,
So written words,
Of black and white,
On parchment scratched,
And writer typed,
My story told,
Its sad but true,
A tear shed,
Emotions blue,
So read the written,
Comprehend its verse,
Feel the agony,
And you’ll know my curse,
I live in the dark,
Forever spurned,
When I reach for the light,
I am only burned,
At times my tears don’t show,
But I am always drowning,
FOREVER YOURS
When I look in your eyes,
I see the depth of beauty,
A caress from your
<center>
I AM THE MOON
Each night I lay me down to sleep,
My broken hearted eyes do weep,
For me there shall be, no other one,
I am the moon, and you are the sun,
I dwell in darkness, without your light,
This love I have, I can not fight,
Forever to live, so far away,
When I am the night, and you are the day,
For what is the moon without your light,
An unseen speck, adrift in plight,
I am but a shadow, without the sun,
My day is ending, when yours has begun,
Cold and lifeless, adrift in space,
My only warmth, comes from your face,
A universe, touched by your gaze,
So many worlds lit by your rays,
For you are the sun, and I am the moon,
You are the wind, and I am the dune,
I am the mountain, and you are the sky,
And I will always love you, till the day I die,
When the eyes of the sky do cry,
Its the warmth of the sun,
that makes them dry,
YOU MAKE ME
Loneness wraps its cold arms around me,
And sorrow creeps in, like a long lost friend,
And these tears I cry over a loveless life,
Only leave when my eyes close, and I pretend,
For in my dreams there is only a vision,
And for the rest of my life, all I see or do,
Shall be but pour shadows and memories,
Of the time spent, when I was holding you,
For no lover scorned, no child born,
No family friend, shall comprehend,
The love my heart, that I will impart,
From this day on, until I am gone,
Forever is a very long time,
But it is made infinite, without your love,
Of all that I am,
all that I could be, you are the best of,
What makes me , me,
WHAT WILL BE
A broken heart,
It is sad but true,
Makes all the days,
Seem oh so blue,
But we have time,
To heal the scars,
I lost the word,
The word is ours,
As said alone,
And with apart,
There comes and end,
And then a start,
So do not deny,
A forlorn love,
The freedom given,
A little dove,
If a love you had,
Has flown away,
Do not become,
A bird of prey,
Do not use words,
Don’t scream and shout,
You only plant,
The seeds of doubt,
Let things settle,
And soon you will see,
What is meant to happen,
What will be, will be,
BEHIND MINE EYES
There’s a darkened passage,
That traverses time and space,
A self-absorbed enigma,
Hidden by the face,
Behind mine eyes,
There’s a theater of life,
It plays the days a trilogy,
That cuts me like a knife,
History is the story,
Of most men it’s told,
Add some horror and tragedy,
That’s when the story’s sold,
So written words,
Of black and white,
On parchment scratched,
And writer typed,
My story told,
Its sad but true,
A tear shed,
Emotions blue,
So read the written,
Comprehend its verse,
Feel the agony,
And you’ll know my curse,
I live in the dark,
Forever spurned,
When I reach for the light,
I am only burned,
At times my tears don’t show,
But I am always drowning,
FOREVER YOURS
When I look in your eyes,
I see the depth of beauty,
A caress from your