Anxiety In places where I fear people I once knew may be

[muntjac]

I don't know If this happens to anyone else, but basically, when I was In highschool I slowly retreated Into myself and turned almost mute due to depression, was picked on a little bit, but nothing too severe. Now I'm 18 and too afraid to go Into areas where I know people who I went to school with might be hanging out. This fear makes me quite hypervigilant, I went Into town today and was snapping my head every way trying to see In ten different directions at once, when I eventually DID recognize someone, a boy who used to pick on me, I had a panic attack and almost ran out of the shop we were both In. I still haven't put my high school years to rest and sometimes still have nightmares about them.

I'm wondering If anybody else has experienced this, and If they have overcome It. Just looking to see If anyone can sympathise with this feeling. I'm afraid to be In my own town, which Is no good. Am fine most other places, wondering If It's localised agoraphobia :/!!?

[kstro12]

I used to be like this when I left school - plus I lived in a small community so I saw people very regulary - it took some time but eventually I just realised how pathetic most of the people were who picked on me. Now I have no problems walking right by them, I just hold my head high and don't acknowledge them. But then again over the last few years all those people have grown up so much and changed to the point where I can talk to them normally :)

[NoPoet]

Hi, it's not really about seeing other people, it's a fear of how you will react when/if you see them. Most of the morons who bully other people at school eventually "grow up" as they realise that they're not top dog any more, they are worth the same as everyone else, no-one finds their behaviour funny or likeable and they are seperated from their little clique of "mates". Anyone else notice how bullies band together in school? It's a kind of unspoken agreement that they won't pick on one another - they are as scared of each other as everyone else is scared of them. Did they really like one another and see one another as true friends, or was it a friendship of convenience?

The trick is not to worry about what other people say or do, it's to concentrate on how you see yourself. You received constant negative reinforcement from these people and because you couldn't fight back, you accepted their criticism and it eventually became a part of you. You need to change that part starting straight away. As I have advocated in other threads here, you should consider creating yourself a positivity program and listen to it every day for the coming months.

Start by writing down a list of negative beliefs you have about yourself (there may be quite a few), then you need to look at each one in turn to see how true they really are. You may also be able to identify where they came from - i.e. mostly from the bullies. It's likely none of them are true, so you need to train yourself to believe their opposite. So instead of "I am NOT worthless, I am NOT a wimp," try "I am worth the same as everyone else; I have meaning because I exist; I am strong and compassionate; I am confident about my ability to handle whatever comes my way" and so forth. You will gradually be able to modify this over time to make it more appropriate.

It's tough to change negative beliefs about ourselves but it can be done with patience and persistence.

[darkknight]

I have depression and I am scared of people but it helps to try get out, Hope you are ok?