Being Distant

[carol1969]

When i'm going through bad panic and anxiety i distance myself from my family, i think its because i'm trying to protect them from it. I can't sleep in bed with my partner because it makes me worse. I feel like i have to be still and that makes me panic more and my partner has to get up early for work. The last two weeks i've slept on the settee. The problem is my partner seems to be angry with me lately and i reassured him i love him and its nothing to do with him why im sleeping on the settee. It just feels better to be on my own sometimes. Does anyone else do this or is it just me?
Carol x

[chucklehound]

Hi Carol, I too used to feel better sleeping on my own, although now I have no choice because I am single[Yeah!]
If he used to move in the bed it would make me feel really giddy.

Hope you start to feel better soon

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

[carol1969]

I feel so upset. Everytime my panic and anxiety comes back the depression hits a few weeks later and i feel like i cant take anymore. I hate what im doing to my family, i feel so guilty all the time, i feel evil. I try to hide it from them and try to be normal but this disease is so transparent and my personality changes so much when its happening.
Why does this happen to me why?
I want to be a good mum and partner but it wont let me. I cant go and watch my son play football? I cant support them at all. Why am i alive still? This disease is so disabling humiliating and exhausting and it will get the better of me one day. Sorry but having a really bad day.

[marie ross]

Hi carol,

Sorry that you are feeling so bad at the moment. I've changed so much over the last 2 years, i was always a happy, huggy person who was always on the go and helping other people.

But like you my personality has changed complety. I'm sure you are a brilliant mum, as long as you are there for your children thats all that they want. Does your partner go and watch your son instead?

I know what you are going through right now is so hard, but you will get better, i've had a terrible few weeks where i thought it had got the better of me, but am now picking myself up again.

Does your partner understand how all this anxiety is really affecting you??? Hang in there and moan all you want, we've all been there at some time.

Take care.

Marie XXX

[marie ross]

Oh and i like to sleep on my own also, don't like anyone to be in the same bed as me.

Marie XXX

[eeyorelover]

awwww Carol (((hugs)))
I'm sorry that you are having a hard time right now. I used to worry about what me having anxiety was doing to my kids. But I have gone thru it for some years now and my kids are older now and so supportive and have turned out to be compassionate loving young adults. You aren't neglecting them or abusing them. You are obviously a loving mother or you wouldn't be worried about them.
All anyone can do is their best. When they are grown, they won't remember a ball game that was missed. They will remember the love that you had for them. The laughs you had together. Stories read. All the little things that you do for them on a daily basis.
Take care xxx
Sandy

[Twila]

Hi Carol , Sorry you are going through such a rough time!:(
When my attacks first occured my husband was the only one that could make me feel better. Now he gets that look on his face like it is such a bother to help me. When an panic attack happens at night ( and that is when it seems to be the worst) just being in the same room with him makes me more afraid. So going out of the house is the only way to feel better, and I sleep in my computer chair where I feel in some kind of control of my life helps. Sounds crazy but it works. Hope you are doing better.

Twila

[carol1969]

Thank you all so much again for lifting my spirits. I know im a good mum i care too much about my kids if there is such thing.. Twila (what a beautiful name) sleep where you feel comfortable because lack of sleep always makes my panic worse. Jenny, Marie and Chuckle thanks for your kind words too. I wish this disease never existed and we were all confident people who loved life but never mind. Bless you all a million times over and i know how hard life is for you all. You are all my heroes, not many people could put up with what we do and survive.
Thank you all so much
Carol x
Bless England too they tried so hard to win!!!

If you have peace of mind you have everything