suicidle thoughts i have no life anymore

[ihaveitall]

the feeling of dread is constant it dominates my whole life im battling everyday i feel that if i ended it all then i would be out of this misery but then i think of my 2 beautifull children and the fact that i lost my brother in 2010 to murder couldnt do it to my mum and dad i feel so selfish but i just cant handle it im on anti ds and seeing a councilor i know i wouldnt kill myself but the thoughts there and i cant shake it of :emot-crying:

[beauty2010]

So so sorry you are feeling this way.
Please don't do anything to harm yourself. I don't think that you would anyway.
You are doing so well in just staying with it at the moment. It is awful when every day is a battle, but the feelings will pass in time.
I'll be thinking of you and so will everyone who has read this post.
Hugs
B

[LAURA48]

Hi - try not to be too hard on yourself - you have been through so much.

Your brother's death has had a profound knock on effect on you - and that's understandable. You have probably had to be strong too for your parents. It sounds like Pstd, although I am not a professional. Is you counsellor helping, are you having CBT? You do need to talk about it.

What anti depressants are you on - may I ask? Can you have another word with your GP? As you are clearly having a rough time, bless you.

I know what you mean when you say you have suicidal thoughts - I am the same at the moment - I would not do anything but life is torture isn't it - nothing gives you pleasure. I am waiting to see a psychiatrist on 19th albeit private - long story - may be your doc could do a referral to someone professional other than a counsellor.

It will pass but you can pm me is you wish.

Sending you a :hugs:laura x

[michellew]

Hi, I also suffered quite badly for the past 2-3 years with a constant feeling of impending doom to the point where I've become afraid to enjoy anything in case I die suddenly or someone I love dies. Please remember that although you are feeling these things it does not mean that something bad is going to happen: they are just feelings and the more you try to convince yourself that something bad is happening the more dread you will feel. With me I know it was an obsessive compulsive thing wherein I would constantly make sure I was considering the worst case scenario because I was afraid if i didn't, something awful would happen that I wouldn't be prepared for. I also thought about suicide, on my worst day I was stood holding a bottle of pills ready to just take them all and go to sleep: i have no kids and no partner and a lot of my friends have abandoned me because of my mental illness so it was pretty hard to find something to stop myself from ending it all, but you have to keep going. You have to stay strong. If not for yourself then for everyone who loves you for you and sees you, not as a person with an anxiety disorder, but as a person whose presence makes their own lives that bit better. Live for these people, make them happy: it is unbelievably difficult to pull yourself out of bed every morning but just think about your kids and how they would not be here if it weren't for you. They need you and you need them, I promise you that being there to make them happy will ultimately make you happy too. Also in case you weren't told about the side-effects of anti-depressants, they can intensify these feelings so I'm not sure if it is the best idea to be taking them. Don't stop taking them but talk to a doctor first about maybe finding an alternative: acupuncture or even dietary changes can be equally as effective. Mental illness is a horribly isolating thing and can make you feel as though you are not a human being anymore but find strength in those you love and remember that this is just a bad time in your life and it will pass