Petechaie?

[JMR]

Worrying Again.....Been 'paralysed' with fear since last night after examining skin and noticing tiny, tiny, red pin prick bleeds under the skin. Despite reading other posts on the forum about these, which turned out ok, I am of course really really panicking about my long term anxieties of lymphoma (especially as I've had a persistent long term cough) & leukaemia. I am also obsessed with tiny white scar like marks on my fingers, hands and wrists which are now apparent on my toes. I showed a few of the tiny marks to my GP about a month ago, but he didn't seem concerned..."don't worry about them" was his advice. And I have tried not to...despite a daily thorough examination I make when I first awake!!!
My Mum in Law has gone into the hospice this week in the final stages of liver cancer, and I just couldn't visit today as I'm in such an anxious state, so my poor hubby had to go alone and then come back to face me still sat here contemplating the worse case scenarios of my symptoms. I nearly went to the walk in centre as of course the gp surgery is closed for the holidays. ..but I do hope I'm over reacting again...I just don't know how I'm going to get through the weekend...just feel 'terrified'. Keep staring at the tiny spots, though some have gone down now, if I look VERY VERY closely I can see lots and lots in my very pale skin.
Don't know what anyone can say to me...except I just KNOW that you understand the HEALTH ANXIETY and how it can render one motionless. I don't want to eat, get dressed, or do anything. I've been on Google since 2pm!!!! (Got up the other night at 2.00am and went back to bed at 6.30am after googling all that time....one symptom to another (it was because I had bad pain in the base of my big toe ..GOUT? & couldn't sleep) but of course all the symptoms even of Gout? led back to the diseases I dread! Wish I could have the same dedication and conviction with positive thinking and optimism as I do with catastrophising etc!
Sorry folks for going on..... :scared15:

[JMR]

Updating my own post! I'm SO worried about the tiny, red spots & know that I'll HAVE to go to the GP's surgery after the holiday & perhaps a blood test...but in the meantime I'M SO ANXIOUS & THEN I'LL WORRY SILLY WHILST WAITING FOR THE RESULTS...

I just can't concentrate on anything at all, totally distracted and 'paralysed' by my fears...

[MaryMac]

I've had EXACTLY the same issues as you! I was convinced I had leukemia/lymphoma after having what felt like endless colds/infections for a while last year. I couldn't get rid of my cough, I felt run down, sore... for some reason leukemia got stuck in my head. I was literally sitting on my computer ALL day looking up symptoms, checking for swollen nodes, convinced I was dying and then I thought my "get out" was that I didn't have these petechiae. Oh was I wrong? One day I came out of the shower, and for some reason I looked at my right foot, guess what I found? Tiny, red dots under my skin that didn't blanch. Of course I was in a panic, called NHS 24, had my friend come straight round etc... I've been to my GP for a couple of other things but was too scared to get a blood test. Anyway, this was 6 months ago, and guess what? I'm still alive! My common sense is telling me that if I DID have leukemia/lymphoma I'd be very ill by now, the "petechiae" are because I was in the shower and it's too hot, I still get them on my foot, right after I have a shower. Now that my horrible anxiety has died down, so have the "symptoms". I'm not completely over it, I still occasionally check for nodes etc, am convinced I have a couple of swollen ones but otherwise I feel completely fine. (touch wood!!)
HA is so difficult to overcome when you're convinced you actually have "symptoms". I'm so sorry to hear about your mother in law, maybe her condition is bring this on for you? But I'm pretty sure you are fine and hope you start feeling better soon. :)

[JMR]

Hi Mary Mac

What wonderful timing you have with your reply. I'm getting ready to force myself to go out to a friend's house for a long planned meal, and I just don't feel at all like going - I have got myself into such a state with HA again! I just daren't start looking at my skin when I wake up in the morning & my fears are constantly on my mind..and then voiced out loud in a running commentary to my poor husband & 86yr old Mum...(I hate myself for driving them crazy, but I can't help it!)
Anyway, I'm in a state...panicking still. Yes, I have become a little obsessed comparing my teeny tiny dots to the ones on my Mum in law but she now hasmassive patches of purpura which are all over. The hospice is a wonderful place, but I'm catastrophising myself in scenarios and empathising with everyone in there so Yes you are right, it's exacerbating my HA! Also, I lost my own Dad to NH lymphoma 25 yrs ago, so I do have a hang up about it.
I am just stuck in my withdrawn world until I can get to the Drs...hopefully tomorrow. I don't relish the idea of having a blood test as this will cause me much more fear & I'll be petrified waiting for the results and don't know if I could cope with a bad outcome? But, as my hubby very aptly put it...you can't cope now with the HA...so I may have to go down the blood test result?
I went to see Dr back at the end of Feb and mentioned some strange white scar like marks on my fingers but he didn't seem over concerned...realised I had bad anxiety though. But at that time I hadn't noticed the petechiae! I wonder if stress and anxiety can make them worse, as when I sat googling for hours last night again, (Why do we do it?) I happened to look down and sure enough two bright red pin prick dots were there on my forearm. They disappeared within a couple of hours and now just look like all my other many freckles on my very fair skin...so I wonder just how many I've had in the past that I haven't noticed?
Hey...I'm rambling on again too much...but THANK YOU for understanding & I'm trying hard to keep your experience and words of advice at the forefront of my mind.
I also have a few little green bruises on my leg which appear often for no reason & although I'm sure this has always happened I do panic! Maybe it's my age & gender now i'm past forty? Who Knows.
Think I will phone dr in morning. Hope he laughs me out of the door!!!:)

[michellew]

You can get petechiae from any kind of light trauma to the skin (such as banging your leg off a table or carrying a bag on your shoulder) or from viral infection, especially in the later stages. They mostly occur on the upper arms and on the legs and unless they develop rapidly with a fever and severe headache or they turn into the purpura you described on your mum-in-law, then they are nothing sinister. Everyone gets these I reckon, but we over-thinking HA-ers are just more prone to noticing them. I was recently in hospital for an op and I developed a huge petechial rash on my arm that puzzled the nurses until I suggested it was from taking my blood pressure every hour. Its hard because you can see how devastating a disease like leukemia would be but try to relax and think about whether you've had these symptoms since you started worrying or before you started worrying. If you really think you are in danger, then get a blood test but I assure you this sounds normal to me!

---------- Post added at 19:22 ---------- Previous post was at 19:15 ----------

Also I'm sorry to hear you lost your father to lymphoma: my Mom died of it when I was 13. Its a terrible disease and I still get times when I worry myself sick thinking I'm going to get it too. Stay strong! x

[skygreen_leopard]

I have these all over my arms, i dont think they're important unless you feel really ill with them as MichelleW said. They're ironically one of the few things i dont worry about :). I understand the leukemia/lymphoma fear though as its sort of "invisible", but i am pretty sure your worries are misplaced. As with all of us we overestimate a lot of things.

[MaryMac]

It's a really horrible thing. I was so bad, I was checking my entire body with a torch looking for these stupid petechiae, and of course if you google them, it means you have some hideous deadly illness. I bet EVERYONE gets them but just don't spend their time scouring their bodies for them! At work, I'd go to the toilet about 10 times a day so I could check myself. I promise, if it was leukemia you'd feel very ill. I lost my mum to breast cancer several years ago, and had 3 major deaths in my family in the last year, so I think it excacerbated my HA. If you are really worried go to the doctors, but I've a feeling they'll tell you you're absolutely fine. :)
Also, I found that being on my own was really bad as it allows the mind to wander to all sorts of horrors. My friends have been fabulous throughout this for putting up with me, I'm aware of how bad I must sound to them when I'm saying "oh I've had a cough it must be cancer!!" But that little HA voice just doesn't shut up sometimes!!

[JMR]

THANK YOU ALL for your kind & helpful replies!
I've been to the Dr this morning & by pure chance my favourite GP who recently retired was working as a locum for the holidays!! He knows me of old from the point of view of HA & lymphoma fears the other year.
So, the outcome of the visit is this: not to worry over the petechiae, could be just aging skin, spider veins, weak capilliaries etc. Felt better! Mentioned the white pitting scars on my hands again - (which were dismissed by a new GP back in Feb when I was worried about Raynaud's) - and the Dr today paid much more attention to them!! He is sure they are due to Raynaud's & asked me how much it would stress me if I was referred to a dermatologist for blood tests etc..!!!! How stressed? I told him I wasn't able to contemplate going away on holiday next week so waiting for a referral and appt to derm would be agony & would drive me crazy! I asked him that if I walked away today declining his offer, would it be reckless of me & should I have further tests? He said he felt that my condition wasn't indicative of anything sinister but could obviously not say 100% , but it may be helpful to know if the Raynauds is secondary to another condition. I walked home in a daze, having said I would leave the referral alone for the time being, but now I'm home and back on Google....guess what? the conditions I was worrying about can all be indicative of secondary Raynauds! And I think it is secondary because of the pitted white scarring in my hands etc.
I've called the Drs back to ask for him to process the referral...& also asked if I can have any blood tests in the meantime. I have to go and collect a blood form this afternoon to get tests done tomorrow. Don't think I'll be going on holiday at the weekend...I'm SO SCARED NOW!
Turns out it wasn't the petechiae I needed to worry about after all...if only I'd taken notice of you all and not gone to see the Dr today.:ohmy:

[JMR]

Me again! I've been and had the bloods done late this afternoon & hopefully the results will be back at drs tomorrow..if I dare to phone for them!
Was surprised to find that besides the usual FBC, Liver Function Test, Urea & Electrolytes etc, the Dr has requested ESR, ANA, C reactive protein and all the Autoimmune Antibody tests!
I'm freaking out big time now. Also, after I removed the surgical tape from the cotton wool on my arm after the blood test I had a weird shaped red & white pattern/rash on my skin. Hives? Still scared of the Big Three...Lymphoma,Leukaemia,Myeloma, but I'm concerned about Scleroderma (which is the concern I went to my GP about back in Feb, to be told it is very rare) & Lupus etc.
Don't know what anyone can say, but if anyone out there has had similiar symptoms & blood tests ....?

[MoonlightFire]

Hi JMR. Do you take any meds for anxiety? I take sertraline and it gives me little red and purple pin prick spots on the inside of my legs and extra bruising. I went to my Doc about it and she confirmed it was a common side effect of Sertraline.

M xx

[JMR]

Hi Moonlight Fire...thanks for your advice. No, I don't take any meds, other than a magnesium & vit supplement, which helped me no end with depression/anxiety before this damned latest episode came back.