View Full Version : Citalopram advice. Please help i am new and scared
Hello everyone
I am new to all this and very scared about never returning to old self.
I wasn't going to join as read to many horrer stories which is not good when already fragile.
This is the first time i have suffered real depression folllowing a virus at a time in my life where i should be happy i couldn't understand this place of darkness i have arrived at.
I have been on citalopram for 7 weeks 10mg for 2 weeks at 20mg for last 5 i am now functioning normal but still have a feeling of dread constantly with no reason behind it. Will an increase in dose help lift this more?? in some respects i just exist a horrible feeling with each passing day i feel more hopeless. I dont enjoy anything but can force a smile my family therefore think im making alot of progress unfortunately i dont feel it. Would love good advice please x
You need to discuss this with your GP, but there are several options. One is to continue as you are, monitoring your mood and seeing if you just need more time to settle on the medication. Another is to try increasing the dose, your GP will decide if that's worth exploring and how to do it, it might be the aim to reach 40mg for a while and seeing if that helps. Another option is to change medication, though I would imagine most GPs would want to increase dose of the existing one first and try it. Finally, there are other options to run alongside medication, including counselling, therapy, CBT, changes to your diet, exercise etc.
Above all, be patient and be easy on yourself. Recovery can be slow and can take a long time. Sometimes we feel we are not making progress or even going backwards. Take it one step at a time. And please, do keep talking to your GP about how you feel. You are always the best judge of what is working for you and what isn't.
nicola1980
06-04-12, 19:55
Hi cit can take a while to fully kick in but its worth seeing your gp as you might benefit from a increase to 30mg x x
Thank you
I have an appointment on 16th as she wanted to wait another month it seems never ending torment to me. I just wish i could succesfully distract myself even for a while.
Do antideppresent stop or help with the negative thoughts if not then an increase wont help me as i am functioning.
I have also started CBT, i still feel a cloud wherever i go or lurking this i was oping would ease with the medication it has but nowhere near enough.
Thanks so much for replies
Hello tj. My doctor upped my dosage from 20 to 30mg a couple of years ago and did help me. I am now taking 20mg again because i really don't wanna rely on meds to function. But go see your gp to see if you can up them to 30mg until you feel better. Then reduce them gradually with supervision. I think the highest dosage is 60mg so 30mg is only half way, so will be safe
Darren :)
Thanks darren.
Please can i ask what benefits you felt in the increase??
I just want the cloud that follows me when im trying to enjoy myself to go away if that makes sense.
Of course you can. The benefits i felt was less anxious, so the less anxious i felt the less empowering depression becomes. Lower my anxiety and depression meant i could travel a bit further than i was able to before because of agoraphobia. which in turn made me feel less depressed because i was achieving more from life, which in turn made me feel less anxious. So lowering one as a knock on effect for the others and vice versa. Basically it is a vicious circle but remember that vicious circle can be reversed too. You need away to learn to start reversing your anxieties. when feeling depressed the hardest thing is motivation. Don't fight the fears but fight the motivation. Once you get motivated then you can start with the recovery process. I can give you some tips with the recovery side but firstly you need to get motivated enough to want to get your life back. Remember you only get out what you put in. Start believing and living more like you don't feel depressed and anxious. If you want anymore advice if you think it is helping lol. Then reply here or PM me?
Darren :)
Thanks Darren
I feel like i am doing everything in my power to do things i used to even taken kids swimming and days out this is something i wasnt doing last month. I have not progressed from that though in other words all functioning back to normal but i am still fighting the cloud all day like a constant little chatter in my head that im trying to stay positive but so so hard it feels like mental torture all day everyday almost a fear of going back down
That is the key what you just said. "The fear of going back down" Think if i go back down so what, i have done it before and i can do it again. What you're going through at the moment is a fearing of the fear. Why your mind set is like that then you wont recover. Imagine a song you don't like (negative attitude), if you keep singing it in your head then it will be there all day, but if you forget about that song or replace it with a good song (positive attitude) then you start to feel more at ease with in yourself. Think to yourself if i hear the song you don't like, i'm not gonna turn it off or avoid it, i'm gonna try a new approach and sing along with it, grasp it. It cannot hurt me, i control it, i actually made it. So why am i so scared of a sensation or thought i made. It's not the thought, it's how we react to that thought. Don't react, fight or run from it. but live it. Say to that thought i'm not going anywhere so you can either come with me or you can p off. But i'm just gonna let you know i'm not afraid of you, actually thank you, you have made me a stronger person and if you wanna pass by anytime then your welcome but your not staying. i haven't got the room. Sorry. Believe in that don't just say it. And the thoughts will realize you don't fear them anymore.
:)
stormyok10
07-04-12, 09:43
Hi Darrenb 7
That was a great post, you really made me think in a very positive way & will keep looking back on it just to remind myself that I can handle this, live it & not be afraid. Thankyou
Mick081081
07-04-12, 10:44
Great post Darren really helpful advice.:yesyes:
Mick.
Hi Darrenb 7
That was a great post, you really made me think in a very positive way & will keep looking back on it just to remind myself that I can handle this, live it & not be afraid. Thankyou
Thank you for the feed back and i'm glad it helps people understand there anxieties more. But i'm more impressed that you could read my writing lol
Darren :)
---------- Post added at 12:21 ---------- Previous post was at 12:18 ----------
Great post Darren really helpful advice.:yesyes:
Mick.
And also thank you mick. Same as stormy glad you understood my awful grammer lol.
But i guess you got the gist?
Darren :)
great post Darren will keep looking back to it.
Hi TJSmith, isn't frightenening when a virus can do this to you?? The same happenened to me after I had a stomach virus last November it knocked me stupid!!! and i've had depression ever since, I'm on Sertraline, 6 weeks now, after trying a few of the others,had a few probs with it but determined to carry on with them.
It's a slow, bumby, road to recovery, but your GP sounds on the ball by having you back to see how you're progressing, mine's the same. You may find by the time the 16th comes you may feel more positive.
Good Luck and keep posting so we can see how you're getting on
Lesley
Hi Darren
Thanks fr your posts yesterday i am finding alot of comfort from this forum already.
Lesley until Jan this year i was plodding along micely things were going well, my son has cerebral palsy and we were going back to America for his 2nd operation which in a strange way i was happy about, then i collapsed after sudden onset on vertigo being as we were going to America i was petrified then led to extreme anxiety then onto depression.
Scary how things can change.
I am week 5 into meds and hoping the chatterbox in my head shuts up soon (can anyone relate to that) today been good as i have managed to keep smiling and tell myself om ok whereas yesterday was horrific.
I am by far my old self but need to see these little instances as a glimmer of hope.
How long until these meds work fully :D
Hi TJ
The time they take to work varies from person to person and the dosage. It's not just the effects on your mind this illness has, but your body aswell, then there's the side effects of the meds, some people don't get any, where as others get every one printed on the leaflet!!!!!!
I didn't get the chatterbox, I used to get the feeling someone was holding me back when I wanted to do things, literally I could feel my shoulder being pulled, as if to say, 'oh no you don't you're not ready yet', truly weird. My head is willing, but I'm still waiting for my body to catch up, especially driving, I can't get any enthusiasm back to drive and I don't know why.
Thank you lesley or jims wife lol. Totally agree with the pulling you back by the shoulders. I always said mine was like someone with there palm of there hand pushing me right in the middle of my forehead. So same sort of barrier we had to overcome. The thing is we both now understand there wasn't a false force holding us back. It was the attitude we both took at first towards the thoughts that was going around our minds. Unfortunately we can't control how thoughts that go around how heads, good or bad. But we CAN control how react to the thoughts.
Hello TJ. I'm glad you've found a bit of comfort in the posts on this forum. I know it is hard to grasp and trust at first. Like i can't swim, so if you asked me to swim a length i couldn't do it. But if i went to the pool everyday and done 5m then 10m and so on within six weeks i could do that 25m length. I think you gotta take a bit in everyday. Because it can get very overwhelming. You will have set backs we all have or all still do, but don't dwell on it. I could've had 6 and half good days and half of a bad day in a week and would dwell to much on the bad part in the week. Try think of positive in that day or week and forget the negatives. Sure you'll be doing even better very very soon if you can take the new approach. Good luck and like Lesley said keep posting on your progress.
Darren :)
Thanks all fr your rsponses
I am still scared that i will never return to my old self thats the problem.
Still waiting for the day where the mind chatter leaves me alone to enjoy something i normally would once that happens i can count it as a truly good day.
I assume to you guys a good day is a day like you had before depression hit r do i have this wrong???
Scared that my meds only doing a partial job into week 5 now and yes i am not the most patient person and a huge worrier lol :roflmao:
Mick081081
08-04-12, 11:28
Hi all,
This site is great I'm really glad I found it last month some great people on here so thanks to all of you. I'm 3 1/2 weeks into taking Cit 10mg for 2 weeks then upto 20mg. I think it's working slightly day by day so happy with how it's going. I think I've got a bit of brain fog going on or DP as feel kind of out of it most of the time but would say its easing slightly except in the morning I feel totally detached till I take my pill.
Any veterans out there who've manage to get rid of the spaced out feeling I'd be grateful if they had any pointers. Great post again Darren so :yesyes:
Hope everyone is doing ok and got some Easter eggs to cheer them up.
Mick. :)
Thanks Darren, think you're spot on, just wish now I had the urge to get behind the wheel again any tips???
TJ, Darren is so right, take each good day as a bonus, I'm like you, not very patient at all, there is no quick fix. Yes I had bad days before the depression hit me, but then I could just shrug them off, but when I was bad it was though the depression had switched off the part of my brain that controls 'coping skills', that's the way I described it to my GP, 'as though a fuse had blown'. She said that was a good way to describe the onset of depression and anxiety, but she pointed out that medication can only fight the symptoms of depression, not the cause. Darrens right, we have all had setbacks, but you will learn to ride them out.
Hi Mick
early days for you on Cit. I'm on Sertraline and I had brain fog too in the early days. I felt like I was wearing a concrete helmet and blinkers and like I was walking through treacle, my pupils in my eyes went to pinheads. I'm sure it will pass for you like it did for me. Yes mornings were bad for me aswell, that gets better in time
All of you keep posting!!!
Lesley
xxxxx
on your good days are they geniunally good or just better than a bad day. i would love to feel genuine happiness again rather than a forced smile at thing i used to love even a day so i can see hope. reassure me it comes back
[QUOTE=jimsmrs;973273]Thanks Darren, think you're spot on, just wish now I had the urge to get behind the wheel again any tips???
I would say to getting back behind the wheel. Either. Can someone get in the car with you on short trips at first or and more importantly, get in the car, sit their for a while and ask for your panic to show. Say come on i want to take this car for a drive. so if you wanna show then show now.
This next text is from a professional.
Anxiety while driving. People have many different fears in
this area, ranging from fear of being caught in traffic to crossing waterway bridges.
Often the anxiety stems from a fear of being trapped in the vehicle in gridlock
traffic or losing control of the vehicle and causing a collision.
Needless to say, even though they may have been battling a driving phobia for
many years, almost all of the people I’ve consulted with have not actually had any
of these mishaps occur. Let’s look at the primary fear: having an accident due to the distractions of an anxiety attack while driving.
Most people work themselves into a state of high anxiety even before they’ve pulled out of their driveways. They imagine scenes of causing ten-car collisions on the
highway because they “freaked out” and hit another vehicle. If you have such concerns, the first thing to do is review your driving history. Have you been a reckless driver in the past? Do you have a history of bad driving? Most phobic drivers actually have clean driving records and have never even been in a minor road incident. Anxious drivers are not a deadly hazard on the road; in fact, they can be a lot more vigilant than many ordinary drivers who, after a long day in the office, are virtually asleep at the wheel. when looking at the biology of anxiety, by virtue of their
conditions, anxious drivers have a high level of sensory alertness. This level of alertness keeps them aware of potential hazards and focused on the task of driving not daydreaming, chatting, or rooting around in the glove compartment. This, of course, does not suggest that anxious driving is the ideal way to commute. But I believe it’s important to make this point because so many chastise themselves for being anxious in their cars. If you’re generally a good driver, then before you set out in your car, take confidence in that, and reaffirm that fact to yourself. Acknowledging and reaffirming that you’re a capable driver will go some way toward alleviating this concern.
Hope this helps you Lesley
---------- Post added at 19:54 ---------- Previous post was at 19:31 ----------
Hello TJ. I know what you mean about true happiness. I think what it is why we can't feel true happiness is two reasons. 1. In the back of our minds we feel that anytime a panic attack can occur and that just seems to put a cloud over our moods even if we was gonna have a really great day. 2. I think the problem with taking anti-depressants is they mask our emotion. They puts us in a middle ground. My advice would be carry on taking the citalopram obviously but when you feel the real hunger and motivation to take your life back to a much more happy place. then i would go see the GP about a reduction in the amount you take and they'll do a gradual dosage drop over a few weeks or months. I have just changed recently to a new GP practice and he is quite against the meds for depression, anxiety, panic etc. And that is brilliant news for me because i don't want to be on meds.
There is no chemical imbalance in our brains, according to research recently that is a myth. The depression lies with you. Now what do you get more comfort from? Being on drugs for the rest of your life to mask it or knowing a bit of hard work, motivation and a positive reaction to our thought process will get them happy days back. I know what i prefer and i'm sure you and everyone else with depression, anxiety and or panic would prefer.
Darren :)
I'd say everyones bad days are different. At first on my really bad days, I wouldn't get up out of bed, if I did I would just lie on the sofa not even getting dressed or wash, wouldn't do any housework, nothing. Would pray for rain as I knew my dog wouldn't pester me to take her for a walk cos she hates the rain. Where as someone elses bad day would mean they would just sit and cry. My hubby says he can how much progress I've made since the early days, not yet 100%, but better than I was.
I now class a bad day as me feeling sick, or having a jumpy tummy or my hands might shake, but I know that's the meds and it soon passes.
Hi Darren
went for my first drive today since January 2012:D, (that journey was a nightmare) To-day I had my hubby with me, I did really well, no shakes, no dry mouth, no pounding heart. Thanks for the tips:D
Lesley
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