View Full Version : Please help! Im so scared i will die of lymphoma.
Hi guys, im really sorry to ask for your reasurrance again about my lymphnodes. But things have changed since last time i posted, I actually had my neck nodes assessed b ENT and they said they were fine and didnt need to see me again, and i was actually ok with that. I know that others have them in their necks and groin like me and they come up with infectons etc. Which was fine until ive noticed one in my armpit now after digging round, im at my wits end i cant stop crying. I went to my doctor who is referring me to the breast clinic now! She said she is doing this purley because of my anxiety about this and not because she beleives i have breast cancer. I just dont beleive her, i think she knows theres something not right. I dont know how long its been there ive never checked that deep. I cant cope anymore i just feel like ending it all because i know i cannot cope with the answer i will get after the clinic. I cant bear to lose seeing my daughter. My partner is threatening to leave agin because he cant understand my worry. I really have nobody to talk to anymore, everybody hates me. Have any of you guys had armpit, groin and neck lympnodes/ all moveable but painless. Any help would be great, thanks for reading.
Hi Kelly,
Sorry I've not replied to your PM yet but I've been a tad busy at work etc - I'll reply later.
In the meantime, I can see you're really anxious about this and I really feel for you. Maybe some replies here from people with similar symptoms will help to reassure you. From what you've said, I really don't think you have anything serious wrong with you. Your GP would have let you know if she thought there were any sinister signs. As she said, she's just referring you to put your mind at ease. Try your best to believe her - she's not going to tell you one thing but mean something else - that's not how they work at all.
You've done so well before in distracting yourself and you can do it again. You've so much to look forward to so try to focus on them. You will get through this, I promise you.
Take care and I'll PM you later.
Pip :hugs:
If you dig deep you will find all sorts of lumps and bumps. Your doctor would not lie to you. He referred you because he can't put your mind at rest so sending you to someone who might be able to do so.
I know someone who does have lymphoma cancer and your lumps sound nothing like them, trust me I've felt his and they are not moveable.
My husband is trying to be patient with me but he is getting stressed. It's hard, but threatening to leave you is pretty mean when you are feeling the way you are. I think we have a tendency to get so self obsessed that we do forget about our spouses and their needs.
Your doctor wouldn't lie. It's more than their job is worth.
If you want to chat feel free to PM me and we can chat through Facebook chat or something.
Thanks both of you for your kind replies. Just been having a heart to heart with my partner and he read the health anxiety information on this site. I think he is trying to understand a bit wich helps. Thanks hypo for the reasurrance it has helped and i also wish your friend well, i really feel for them. I would like to chat that would be nice, i will PM you tomorrow.
Thanks pip for your support once again, its always nice to hear from you x
I dont know how im going to get out of this mess this time, if there really is nothing wrong with me, i need some form of councelling. Ive lost my way. I dont know if i can get well again this time.
AnxiousAva
09-04-12, 00:02
Hi KellyBobz and everyone,
I'm new to this forum and was just searching for posts on lymph nodes, as those in my neck, collarbone and my groin are the ones that have been worrying me for weeks now. It started with one in my neck, which was tiny, and I poked it for ages and worried myself sick. It went down, then came up again a few days later, and this kept happening and each time it went down I felt fine again, then when it came up felt anxious and worried again. Then the ones in my collarbone started to hurt, then my groin and armpits. I really hope it is some sort of immune system response to all that adrenalin that I must be pumping around!
I've read loads of posts, and we all sound like we're exactly the same, poking at them, feeling the size/temperature/texture etc, I'm sure I've made mine hurt by too much prodding! One thing I saw on one of the forum help posts, was that if we research the disease we believe we have that would be more beneficial than searching out our 'symptoms', I think that would help me, as completely understanding lymphoma or similar diseases might make me realise my symptoms are so mild that they can't be anything that serious.
Your doctor would not lie to you about why she is referring you, she could lose her job if she did! It really sounds like both you and me are making ourselves ill by worrying so much, I know exactly how you feel. I've been fighting with myself not to give in and go to the doctors for these lymphs checking, but I'm going to go for reassurance, and when you've been to the breast clinic I really hope (and believe) you will be reassured too.
I know what you mean about your partner not understanding. Mine is trying REALLY hard to help and support me, and to understand what's going on inside my head, but I can see him struggling sometimes especially when I breakdown in tears for no good reason worrying that I'm going to die of the Big C.
I think the NHS do a good job with really limited resources, but the medical staff are really not trained in how to deal with all us HA sufferers :( You will get better this time, and one day you will get completely better, I'm so glad I found this forum because I feel a bit better already.
Let us know how you get on, and take care.
AAx
Good reply Ava - I hope that you and Kelly will be able to help each other as I can see that you're both finding it really difficult.
Take care
Pip x
Amysunshine
09-04-12, 19:18
Hello, im new to this forum. The reason I found this forum is because of my constant worries about Lymphoma. I found a lump in my neck 5 months ago and ever since anything wrong I find i automatically link to lymphoma. Id never even heard of lymphoma but I went to the doctors to find out if my lump was ok and whilst he was examining me he found another lump (which i cant find, but have since found another one under my chin). then he said the deadly words "we wouldnt look at lymphoma unless these lumps were bigger then a 2p." and ever since ive been searching my body thinking ive got it, but too scared to actually research properly into Lymphoma incase my symptoms match! From little things ive read here and then, its become clear that I would be feeling pretty ill if i had Lymphoma and i feel perfectly fine except for a cough ive had for 2 months that is beginning to go. I understand completely your anxiety, as everytime something new crops up that old burst of fear comes straight back. I guess youre probably thinking too, "I was worrying a few months ago that I had lymphoma but i was fine, but what if now it really has developed into lymphoma and I ignore it thinking its the same as a few months ago" this is what plagues me. But when you think of just how many of us on here have thought we have lymphoma, what are the chances of ALL of us having it? I do believe that I can get past this though, and you have to believe it too. At the end of the day we are all scared but we have today and the chances are we probably have tomorrow. Everytime i get a burst of fear i tell myself "live for today, live for today". If you want to message me then feel welcome to xx
Thankyou sooo much ava and thisismics, for your response to my post, it really has helped reading both your experiences. I hate the way ive become recently and i feel really scared. I have to go to the breast clinic for this check and i pray every minute that it will be ok. Even if it is ok, i really think ive gone so far with my worrying, i dont think i could just stop. I really feel ive lost control this time. I do have moments of beleiveing it will be fine, but my anxiety soon takes over and rules out any positive outcome.
Realistically, like you both i feel absolutley fine physically. I do have night sweats once a month around ovulation. I always have. I know this but recently have started to doubt if ive always had them, but i have!!!
My lumps in my neck, some have come and gone, some have stayed. The 2 lumps in my groin are big, about 2cm but sausage shaped. I had them both scanned by ultrasound and they said they were fine and consisted of soft tissue. theyve been there for as long as i can remember, i just never knew what they were. Until the lymphnode was discoverd in my neck and then i worked out they were lymphs too! The one in my armpit also feels sausage shaped but its hard to tell the size as its quite deep in and moves freely so cant get a good hold of it.
My ENT consultant said its never the oval/sausage shaped ones and lymphomas dont move, there fixed. He said they start out like cherrys and grow big.
I have the same thoughts and fears as you thisismics about if i stop worrying and just ignore it, it will develop. Its a vicious cycle and out of all my anxieties and worries, ive never worried soo much or beleived soo much that this is actually happening. Ive just gone to a total extreme with this, and i cant rationalise it.
It sounds as though we all need abit of support with this! Im really glad you both contacted me and i would like to PM you both. I will get in touch tomorrow when i can have a more detailed chat.
Im glad your both finding this site helpful, it really is, and the people are so supportive, if you read my previous threads on lymphnodes you will find others experiencing similar things.
speak to you both tomorrow, hope your both feeling better x
kelly xx
:hugs:
AnxiousAva
10-04-12, 10:28
Hi Kelly,
Your last post has really reassured me, which makes me think that the more I can know about healthy signs the better! We all look for the bad things, but if we tried a different approach and looked for signs of GOOD health we might all feel just that bit better!
My boyfriend found me some really good relaxation and positive thinking hypnosis files on spotify last night, I'm going to try them out and will feedback on my findings!
Currently feeling pretty good about my health, although anxious about going back to work after two weeks off!
AAx
Hi ava i know how you feel i have t go back next monday after 6 weeks off!! Ive not touched my lumps today and feel better for it. Im not going to touch them until ive been to the breast clinic and know the outcome. I asked my friend to feel my neck and she couldnt find them.....so thats good hopefully. Im glad your reasurred by my post. Can i ask what the doctors have said about the ones in your armpit? There the ones that make me most anxious. As th others have been looked at anyway. Please let me know how the hypnosis works for you, ive always wondered but never tried. xx
dancingfrog
10-04-12, 16:47
Hope this can help, I eventually got referred to the breast clinic after months of going back to the docs with three swollen lymph nodes in my armpit, I found them in october, went the breast clinic in february of this month. The consultant had a really good feel of them and basically said they were fighting an infection and they can stay up for a while, they should be gone in about 3-6 months and forget about it. It still bugs me everyday but slowly and surely I am cutting the feeling down and trying not to worry. They are still their today two months after I went to the consultant so its always a pain, you want to just wake up and poof they have gone, but its not going to happen unless you and I stop touching. If like me they have been swollen for 6 months now and you feel fine within yourself then surely we must be. Trying to forget about them is the hardest part.
Dancingfrog xx
Thankyou so much for your reply dancing frog. Im so glad you have told me your experience. Its made me think there may actually be a positive outcome when i go to the clinic. Instead of just feeling dread. The minute i read your post i felt much better. Like you i have been feeling them and getting upset about them. Ive not touched them today, so that i wnt be anxious. Did they scan you at the clinic? What will they do in 3-6 months if they havnt gone? Ive been told sometimes thay stay up for years or even life. The big ones in my groin ive always had as far back as i can remember. Im surprised you had to keep asking for the referral as i got mine straight away but she did say it was purley for my anxiety. I was crying at the time. I hope our lymphnodes do go, just so we can forget about them. Like you said that is the hardest part. I have a feeling they wont go but im always hoping. Thanks again for your post its really made a difference to me. Please keep me posted on your progress. Im still waiting for my refferal.
AnxiousAva
10-04-12, 17:46
Well the day is going much better than feared! My bosses are really supportive and understanding, and they're letting me take each day as it comes and being flexible if I need to work from home some days.
My doctor this morning felt my neck glands and just said "nahhhh, nothing there!". The left one is about 2cm, soft and moveable, can't really feel the right one. Admittedly he's a locum and my normal doctor may have spent more time on it, but in some ways I was glad to get the opinion of a totally fresh pair of eyes from someone who has no idea about my recent history. I'll see my normal doc again next week and if she says the same then I'm just going to trust them both! He also reckoned the tonsil I thought looked swollen was 'not swollen at all'... so maybe I'm just measuring against the wrong scale when I think something looks like it's wrong.
It is difficult to know what to believe though, a lot of the articles about glands contradict each other, some say 1cm, some say 2cm, some say rubbery is good, some say it is bad, some say sausage shaped is good, others say that any sort of rounded smooth shape is fine... but the one thing I KNOW is definitely bad (rather than fear MAY be bad) is if it feels ROCK HARD or LUMPY and doesn't move, a bit like having a stone nailed to my neck!
I honestly think yours sound fine, if you can't feel them without having to dig around there can't be much wrong, they come to the surface to cool off when they get inflamed so if they're deep down that's a good sign. And poking around until you do MUST be making the rest of your flesh and muscles hurt, and then that probably swells up too. I get the monthly night-sweats too but I've always had those and they've never really bothered me.
I know what you mean about the out-of-control thing, some days I think I've got it all sorted and I don't worry for a few days at a time, then I get overcome with it all again and start worrying. It is so hard trying to take control but I do believe that we all can manage it, it's just a case of finding the right way to do it that suits our own self. I do find that when I'm worrying, taking 30mins out to do some breathing and relaxation does help, usually with a picture of a sunny beach! Fortunately my work are understanding enough to let me do this any time I need. Some days I've done it 3-4 times!
But... one step at once - perhaps we could try setting ourselves/each other little daily challenges, just really small things, then we'll have good things to talk about to each other as well as the bad!
My challenge for today/tomorrow is to not touch my neck once in a whole 24 hour period!
AAx
Hi ava,
glad your doing well. The information youve provided is really useful. Your right about the contradictory information out there aswell. I beleive this is part of the problem as it only hightens our anxieties. The daily challemge sounds like a fab idea. Ive managed to not touch my armpit node for two days now. Im going to set myself the challenge of not touching my neck and groin and armpit until the 18th april, as this is when i have my next appointment with my GP. I have managed once a week before and it made me feel much better. So im going to do it again. Just had one last touch now, and thats it!!! Ive felt much better this evening after reading the posts, even my partner noticed so thats good!
The breathing/ relaxation excercises are always good, and its great your work allow you the time to do this. I hope mine are as supportive when i return.
My muscles do hurt so much from all the prodding and tension in me. Today is quite bad as i got really anxious yesterday. I must really tense myself up. my whole neck, shoulders and arms hurt like ive been doing some major excercise. But hopefully this will reduce as i wont be touching myself for a week and 1 day!
Let me know how you are doing tomorrow ava. I think you will do it, you seem focused!! :D xx
dancingfrog
10-04-12, 23:08
When I was at the clinic the consultant said, we can do an ultrasound but whats the point in doing that when they will come back as reactive to infection, he said because I was so young and they felt normal then thats it. He didn't say anything about coming back, but i gather than in another three to six months, if they are still there and I'm still feeling fine obviously i must be. For the past few weeks I have done really well and they went down loads but these couple of days I have started again so going to try and stop altogether now. The consultant said most people think lymph nodes are associated with cancer and ones in the armpit point to breast cancer but he said thats rare in young people. He thought ages ago I had hurt myself, scratched me arm etc and thats why they were there. Mine will probably never go because of the constant poking and prodding I have done, it was all day everyday, even sneaking out of the room to have a feel so my fiancé wouldn't catch me. I think of it like this: if you had a scab on you arm that you pecked off everyday, then you would alway have a scab, you are letting it heal, so maybe thats what I have done to myself. I still get that feeling that, what if they did a scan and its cancer, or what if he didn't feel them right, but i need to trust a 'consultant' who's a specialist at this thing and carry on with my life. These past couple of months I have truly missed out on things. Strange thing is I have another node in my neck that has been there for four years and I poked that too and thats never gone so maybe I am one of these people that once they are up they stay up. Sorry for the long post but hope it helps xx
AnxiousAva
10-04-12, 23:15
dancingfrog, I really like your signature :)
dancingfrog
10-04-12, 23:21
Is that the thing at the bottom lol, I found the quote on the net because everyone had one and I didn't then i just messed around with the colours lol xx
---------- Post added at 23:20 ---------- Previous post was at 23:18 ----------
thinking about it now i made a good choice, aint been on here in about two months but i need to get this thing written down and think about it becuz i for one worry about death to much and forget about living, thats why i love my partner so much because he has the attitude i need and it rubs off on me. Unfortunately he works away and its those times that I am alone and my ha mind creeps up on me xx[COLOR="blue"]
Amysunshine
10-04-12, 23:25
I dont think the lump near my collar bone is very moveable and im not sure its that soft...but i darent touch it to check it again because i know i will panic instantly. but this is the one the doctor has felt so im quite reassured as he didnt seem bothered at all. when he said they wouldnt be worried unless it was larger, i said "oh, ill keep an eye on it then" and i think he just nodded so im guessing the chances of someone young and the fact i feel healthy apart from the lumps is a good sign? ive had it for nearly 5 months now so i also presumed i would be feeling ill by now?
Im pleased to hear you are all feeling a bit better today. I feel better today. I really, really dont want to get too far in to this anxiety thing. I didnt think id ever had HA before i found this lump but when i think about it, i have panicked over my heart before and had an ultrasound on it. i also panicked over my breathing once and was given an inhaler (turns out it was muscular). Now I realise that i have probably always had HA and I really dont want to continue with it forever as I just want to enjoy my life. It hasnt come to the extreme that its stopping me from doing things, so i hope to nip it in the bud now while i can. I know that the fear will come back and get me soon but I hope i can learn to control the panic. that is until i find something new to panic over. but i really hope this is the end of my lymphoma worries. xx
dancingfrog
10-04-12, 23:28
I am sure you are fine, like myself if after having these for ages and you feel fine then you must be, sometimes I wish i had something else to worry me so this one would go away, I don't think ha will ever truly disappear, i have had it since i was ten and its come and gone, Ive had a new fear and after a while I learnt to push it to the back of my mind, or another came along.
Hi Guys
thisismics i know this is hypocritical coming from me, but if youve had your lumps five months and they are the same, they will surely be fine. My mother in law is a nurse who has worked with lymphoma patients for 10 years and she said to me, they grow rapidly. She also said if i had lymphoma id be feeling really unwell by now. So your right about that, and i suppose thats what we all need to realise. Ive had HA anxiety since my late teens but was always an anxious child. Ive always had a fear of dying. When i was 18 i diagnosed myself with a brain tumour, but it was anxiety and panic attack symproms i was experiencing. When that passed i worried about everyday issues and its only now that the HA has returned, because i found the lumps. I do tend to panic and my mind runs wild if something triggers it. 2 years ago on holiday i got stung by a wasp and my arm was swollen, i convinced myself it had poisened me and it was travelling up my arm to my brain and i would die of septacemia, it ruined my whole holiday. I have periods where i can control it really well, as up until christmas id had 2 years (apart from the wasp thing) of doing so well, i made a list of all the things i wanted to acheive that i thought i couldnt. One by one i acheived them and i thought i was cured! Who'd of thought one lump would send me spiraling down again!!
Anyway today i have not touched my lumps and i have felt less anxious. I have worried a little about the one in my armpit. I came on here to read your posts again and reassure myself. That helped and i managed to carry on with my day, so thanks again for your posts. How you guys doing today? Ava have you managed to not touch your lumps? x
AnxiousAva
11-04-12, 21:53
Hi all,
Yes managed not to poke and touch, wanted to a few times though, but will keep on as long as i can.
Been getting slowly more anxious again today after 2 days off, my neck hurts and each time I run my hands through my hair little bits of my scalp feel a tiny bit sore, but I have to keep remembering that I have clear blood tests and two docs didn't think much of my glands.
Need to get a grip again... I've had scalp sores before, I get facial acne, and I'm not dead yet!
AAx
I agree with Kelly about them getting bigger and being very unwell by now if they were cancerous.
Like I've said before, my ex has lymphoma and the lumps grow quickly and once you have the lumps you will be very unwell. There is also another symptom which I won't mention as if you are like me you might start to imagine it, but you haven't mentioned it. They would know a lymphoma lump from a gland just by feeling it.
You are fine :hugs
Amysunshine
12-04-12, 01:05
i had 2 vaccinations today and my neck is aching (could be the fact i sat at a funny angle at the cinema for 3 hours though) but also lots of lumps have come up, but i am guessing this is probably my lymphnodes fighting off the vaccine? as one of them was chickenpox vaccine and in this vaccine they give you a small dose of chickenpox to make you immune. I have started getting a sore throat also. Im trying not to panic as i know realistically its probably my lymph nodes doing their job. im also wondering if the ones i noticed 5 months ago have come up as a result of these vaccines as ive also been on a hep b course of vaccines for 6 months or so. dont know if these reasons are likely but they put me more at ease x
Hi all,
Thanks again for your replys. Thisismics is funny that you say you had the chicken pox vaccine as i had chicken pox at christmas when i first noticed my neck lumps. As your body fights the vaccine to mae your system immune to it. It would make sense that your lymphs would react to do this. I had another virus about two weeks ago my existing lumps went bigger and new ones arrived, however the new ones dissapeard, after the virus went. Im still stuck with the original ones though.
Im like you ava, i was a little anxious again last night. Also i keep having bad dreams about it all. When i come on here and read back through the posts from you guys it reasurres me. I have already touched my groin this morning, by accident. I just musnt know im doing it! So im going to have to really restrain myself today. My neck hurts two and when i eat all the muscles feel like there pulling. Its through stress and tension......and poking!
well i wish you all good luck today, and please let me know how you get on. Im thinking of you all :) xx
Thanks Hypo for your help again, its reassurring. Your right about not mentioning the symtoms, i would definatley get them. Its unreal what anxiety can do to our bodies and mind.
AnxiousAva
17-04-12, 13:00
Well I kept off them for days... then last night I couldn't help myself and had a good feel! The one on my left neck is still a bit bigger than the right one, and now I found a tiny lump behind my earlobe/jawline, has anyone else had one there? I think I have an infected tooth so I really hope it is just that. Grr stupid health anxiety!!!
AnxiousAva, just read this thread and to me it seems like you may have a cold or virus coming on, especially if your neck was sore. My neck was sore for about 4 days before I had any cold symptoms.
Oh and just noticed your tooth comment - dental problems can cause lymph nodes to swell very often!!! If it is sore, it is reactive.
The only advice I can give is to try and "concentrate" on the positive outlook that you had after your tests. I have been suffering with Health Anxiety for a few years. about 10 years ago (before I was ever afflicted with HA) I noticed a lump in my neck and would often get swollen nodes in armpit. I never even went to the Dr because back then I didnt have health anxiety. Still to this day the neck lump is there and I expect the only reason I don't worry about it is because I have lived with it for years and pre-anxiety.
The reason I say this is just that if you have had this issue a while and had Doctors look at it, the likelihood of this being lymphoma sounds to me to be very remote.
I know it's easy for me to say and I bet if I noticed my neck / armpit lump now for the first time, and after having come down with anxiety, I would be thinking the same as you but whilst i know it's easy to say, try to think "rationally" - this has been going on a while, you have had tests and the fact you have more tests coming is good and reassuring. I agree with others; the doctor wouldnt deliberately lie to you.
I am waiting tests for stomach issues and the doctor has told me they are doing so for "reassuarance" as much as anything else.
Wish you all the best.
Amysunshine
18-04-12, 16:33
The lymph node near my collar bone is slightly larger then usuall I have noticed and I have noticed for the last week that my neck has been a bit stiff when I turn my head to the left its almost as if I can feel like something is in my neck. I felt around for wear it was feeling different and I have found another lump on the back of my neck, to the left side of the bone, underneath the hairline. but i think this is a common place for lymph nodes isnt it? Also this has all been for the past week and a week ago is when I had a bout of vaccinations (as i said before) so Im thinking maybe the lymph nodes are still up because of this? Im not too worried about it at the minute but as you will all know its nice to have reassurance sometimes.
Hope everyone is getting along alright xx
Hi guys glad your all keeping in touch and things dont sound too bad. Ive been doing well, i havnt touched my lymphs in my neck or armpit since i last said i wouldnt. I do touch the ones in my groin though just out of habit. Ive been to the doctors again today just for a check up due to my anxiety she checks on me. She told me a story about a patient who had loads in his neck, one the size of a plum. She said its still there a year later, its not cancerous but still reacting to some virus tht brought it up, and he had every test going. She said the ones in the groin are irrelevant as they come up for any small vius and they are usually bigger and last longer. I agree ava that because of your tooth, thts proberly why there up and sore. Whilst ive been anxious about my lymphs they have gone bigger due to a virus and i got extra pones like you thisismics, they were sore but they went within a few weeks but im still stuck with the original ones. I think thisismics , tht your vaccinations wll have set them off, when my daughter has vaccinations she always gets unwell. So its putting some mild infection into you. If you keep prodding though they do get sorer and bigger. I did get my partner to touch my neck, in place of me (cheating) he said there the same, so i have to trust him. im still worried but doing quite well distracting myself till i go to the breast clinic. I had a smear aswell this morning, trying really hard not to worry about tht. Please keep in touch and let me know how your doing, its good we can help each other. xxx:)
---------- Post added at 17:32 ---------- Previous post was at 17:29 ----------
thanks lee, your post is reasurring. My tests too are for reasurrance so im hoping this will work and everything is ok. I wish you well with your stomach issues. Thanks for your input. xx:)
kelly i have a lump in armpit its normal to be sent to the breast clinic i refused a mamo so they done a ultrascan turned out to be a fatty lump ive had it a year but now i have one on my neck so worried again xxxx
Hi sarah thanks for your input, i am trying to think positivley about my appointment which is thursday!!! I just cant hel getting this dread about it, but im distracting myself most of the time. Im only 25 so i have age on my side. I too am getting worried about my neck nodes again, but i thought id put this to bed this week. Im going to read back through other members who have posted here to help support one another. Their posts make me see its quite normal. I hope you get some reasurrance too from them. What is your neck lump like? xx
Hi guys just thought I'd update you all. I've been to my breast clinic appointment today and they said everything is fine. They said the shape and size of the lymphatic are fine. They said I can just feel them because I'm slim. They gave me an ultrasound just to confirm. Which was fine. They said the pain is normal and related to ovulation. The lumps in the breast are glandular tissue. They told me to stop poking my lymphatic as it's fact it will make them inflame. They also said just because you can feel lymhs it doesn't mean there swollen. Some people can just feel them. So to say I'm feeling relieved is an understatement. I hope it makes you all feel a little better too. How you all doing? Xx
Amysunshine
26-04-12, 22:41
Great to hear that Kelly. It does give me some relief, although I seem to have done really well with my lymph nodes lately as I have a genuine odd occurance that I've got a doctors appt with next week. Dont know if youve seen my post but for 2 weeks since Ive had those injections Ive had a numb tingly foot. And im 100% sure its not anxiety and imagining it because every time I press the spot in my foot it sends spasms to all my toes. Hoping that it is just a nerve...and not anything that will start up my anxiety again. The lymph node in my neck/collar bone has reduced back to normal size, however I can still feel the ones in the back of my neck but I guess they will probably just continue to stay there as well now! x
hi kelly glad your ok the lump i have under my arm is still there thats over a year the one in my neck is very low neer the back of the shoulder its under the skin about the size of a pea i googled it and it comes up cancer im worried but not going to the doc yet xxxx
Hi hun I've had a swollen lymp node in mt neck for years. And when my HA kicked in it pertified me I kept poking it and made it sore had blood test only cos I was stressed out they came bk normal. She told me to stop pokin it and it will be fine. It is quiet common for lymph nodes to swell during infection and never go down to there normal size. X
Amysunshine
02-05-12, 21:13
Feeling chuffed today because the lymph node in my neck has gone down to the smallest size its ever been since I found it, I almost cant feel it! This makes me happy because its been swollen for about 6 months. Im also angry that it has caused all of this HA...and now 6 months down the line it almost disappears and seems like it was there for no reason at all... whilst Im left with anxiety and convinced that somethings going to happen to my health. I guess Ill be back here the next time it swells up and terrifies me into thinking I have lymphoma! Hope youre all doing well xx
gemjones85
03-05-12, 10:42
hi everyone.
Im a suffer of ha - sometimes mild sometimes so severe im a walking mess!
just to try and put ur minds at ease a little (hopefully) - a friend of my had lymhphoma 3 years ago, her was really bad it had spread to her stomach and chest - she has now been in remission for 2 years after strong chemo and radio. The gp suspected this after she was vommiting really bad, had a weird rash and a lump that was fixed in her neck. he took bloods that day and was at her house that night... so if gps/doc suspected anything like lympphoma, they dont hang about....
Hope your all well
X
Hi thanks to you all for your help with this. Thisismics im so happy that you have found some releif from this episode of HA. I am too going to try my best to think rationally about these things, next time something arises. The docs have told me im fine and now im actually starting to beleive it. Thankyou to everybody for the support you have all given, i can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Something i didnt think would happen!! xx:)
Amysunshine
05-05-12, 00:26
Glad to hear youre doing well! My lymph node has actually come back up because Ive developed a cough and cold today again...typical haha! but Im ok with it, just trying to get on with life, I know that there will be times ahead where I will panic but Im just going to take each day as it comes and try hard to get back to normal. good luck xx
AnxiousAva
06-05-12, 21:14
Wow, good to see people feeling better about their health! I've managed to keep off my neck nodes for ages, but I got referred to an ENT specialist as my GP was concerned my tonsils were too big. Now I've got a small (2-3mm) sized hard lump under/behind my earlobe which is starting the worry again. However, I'm trying to keep focussed on the fact that all the other little symptoms came and went, and the ENT sat there and told me he was '100% certain that I have nothing to be concerned about' in my glands/neck/ears/tonsils. So I need to keep remembering it and stop worrying!! Why do we find this all so difficult to believe?! Four doctors think I'm fine!
Amysunshine
13-05-12, 20:28
So i was just itching my leg earlier behind the knee, I had it out straight and I realised there were lots of fatty bumps behind both knees..my mind started wondering..my heart started beating faster and I found myself at doctor google. I typed it in, not knowing what I wanted to see but then I spotted "lumps behind my knee fueling my fears of lymphoma" ...I was good and didnt click it..came straight to here. does anyone know if this is actually a sign of lymphoma? or something else? :/ I swear I always have to have something to panic over x
candy_floss
13-05-12, 20:41
I'm a self-researched expert in lymphoma atm (utterly convinced I have it but doctors disagree:weep:).
Yes their are lymph nodes behind your knees. I can feel mine too and I also had a complete freak out over it but then I rationalised it. I can feel these lumps on BOTH sides and they are all the same size.
Whereas the swollen lymph node I currently have in my neck is like a small pea and definitely bigger than the other ones in my neck. The same goes for the lymph nodes I have swollen behind one ear.
So basically, if you can feel the same thing on both sides then I'm guessing you're fine.
Oh and also, I've done far too much research into lymphoma and I've never heard anyone say that their's started behind their knees.
PS: Are you thin? Being thin is part of the problem for me. You can feel everything. My doctors tells me many times that it is perfectly normal for a thin adult to be able to feel lymph nodes. Doesn't mean they are swollen.
Amysunshine
14-05-12, 00:40
Ive really panicked myself over these tonight. Yes I can feel them in both legs and they kind of follow up the thin bone ..and when I tried to touch them its like they move..I dont know if theyve always been there but Ive never felt them before and I think I wouldve noticed.. they are tiny bumps but actually I can feel fatty lumps allover my body including in the rest of my legs so I dont know if im just prone to fatty lumps/not even sure if this is normal in itself lol? no im not thin im normal sort of size. I feel fine in myself, apart from a strained eye..and ive recently been to the docs because I had a fuzzy/numb foot (which has eased off and he didnt know what it was). (Ps I have the lymph nodes in my neck too, I have one by my collar bone, and one under my chin thats just come up and I can feel one at the back of my neck under my hairline, but Ive reassured myself these are fine?) thanks for your help. Do you think a visit to the docs? I think I could easily forget about this as I dont feel ill x
candy_floss
14-05-12, 01:27
Ive really panicked myself over these tonight. Yes I can feel them in both legs and they kind of follow up the thin bone ..and when I tried to touch them its like they move..I dont know if theyve always been there but Ive never felt them before and I think I wouldve noticed.. they are tiny bumps but actually I can feel fatty lumps allover my body including in the rest of my legs so I dont know if im just prone to fatty lumps/not even sure if this is normal in itself lol? no im not thin im normal sort of size. I feel fine in myself, apart from a strained eye..and ive recently been to the docs because I had a fuzzy/numb foot (which has eased off and he didnt know what it was). (Ps I have the lymph nodes in my neck too, I have one by my collar bone, and one under my chin thats just come up and I can feel one at the back of my neck under my hairline, but Ive reassured myself these are fine?) thanks for your help. Do you think a visit to the docs? I think I could easily forget about this as I dont feel ill x
Hun, what you're describing is EXACTLY what I can feel too!
The lumps are on those thin leg bone either side of your knee (i.e not directly behind it but kind of at the sides of it). They are moveable and not soft exactly but not rock hard either, about the size of half a pea or maybe a bit smaller? This is normal, unless we both have some kind of identical knee lymphoma!
I've been to the doctors about my lymph nodes so many times I've lost count. Every time I've been sent away on account of the fact that they are all small, soft and moveable. My main doc says 'sinister' lymph nodes feel nothing like that.
If your lymph nodes are bothering you then please go to the doctors if it makes you feel better. But I am sure those knee lumps are normal on account of mine feeling exactly the same.
I would concentrate more on the collarbone and neck lymph nodes because the doctors might take them a bit more seriously. :)
Amysunshine
14-05-12, 12:57
ahh yes thats exactly where they are and what they feel like lol! maybe we all have them... the doctor felt my collar bone one and said it was fine and its shrunk in size as well. plus I do have a cold at the minute so Im hoping thats what the other two are from x
pinkprincess
16-05-12, 22:40
Hi,
My friend had lymphoma and none of what you are experiencing relates to it, she had huge lumps in her neck (noticable) , and ignored them for ages, but she is 100% ok now, her lymph nodes didnt swell, so you are fine!! i am terrible for health anxiety and thinking i have everything but sometimes you have to trust the doctors, by the way if you prod the nodes they swell as that is what they are for, to fight infection etc so don't touch them!! I hope writing this doesn't scare anyone i just want you to know a case that's all.
xx
If the lumps are mobile they are not cancerous
AnxiousAva
18-05-12, 21:48
Looking back on my posts on here is quite interesting, while I've been really well (mentally) for the last two weeks, I've started spiralling down again with this tiny lump behind my earlobe. It's in the groove below/behind the earlobe, and seems to be unmoving, located close to the jaw joint. Does anyone know if this can be a gland? Or if it is not, I have no idea what it is! It seems to come and go, so I suppose that is a good thing. Ghah, fed up of HA!!!
On another note, if anyone wants any relaxing hypnosis/meditations, I've been listening to Dr Rick Collingwood (on spotify or youtube) for the last few weeks and he really does help me sleep.
Hi guys sorry not been on for a while, ive been so busy i did not have time to think about my nodes, which was great. Ive got a cold and sore throat again... and there back and really big! Im trying my hardest not to panic but my HA is still there. Ive been reasurred over this numerous times so trying to reasure myself now with this. Ava i too have one behind my ear now that comes and gos when im unwell. This one is never mobile but the others are. Thisismics i also have them behind my knees but strangley ive never been bothered by these ones. Always thought they were fatty lumps but realised they wernt when i started researching the nodes!!! How are you all doing?
AnxiousAva
26-05-12, 14:56
Aww me too Kelly, had a stinky cold and cough. Went to docs again and she was really lovely, I said i was cross with myself for going back again but she said she would prefer to see me than have me dwelling on it and worrying. However, she still reckons I'm fine, I guess I just need to keep working on believing it!
I'm glad youve been too busy to worry for a while, that sounds like progress to me! Give yourself plenty rest and fluids, I think paracetamol can help too. Keep strong, we're all doing really well!
Love and hugs to all xx
There is this really good book that is written for people in this situation:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1845298241
http://www.veale.co.uk/resources-support/public-information/health-anxiety/
http://www.veale.co.uk/
Can anyone please help me? I have been freaking out about alcohol pain caused by lymphoma. I drank a small amount of alcohol earlier today and for the first 15-20 minutes I was fine. No jaw pain, no neck pain or anything. I was really anxious the whole time though and then got a stabbing pain behind my ear and just above my ear lobe (almost felt like inside my ear). It came and went within seconds but it has really worried me. I have been under a lot of stress/anxiety for the past 3 months and grind my teeth a lot.
Does this sound like an obsessive anxiety reaction after drinking or something more sinister? Not looking for a diagnosis, just any similar experiences.
Any advise would be appreciated! Thanks in advance.
Hi i get ear pains when ive been clenching my jaw due to stress and anxiety. Apparently the muscle from your jaw connects to you ear. Also when you have a quick sharp pain but GP said its muscular, i had all these sharp pains all over my head neck and shoulders, but once my stress reduced they stopped.
---------- Post added at 02:23 ---------- Previous post was at 02:18 ----------
Thanks ava, i hope your feeling better soon. Keep me updated on how ypur doing xx
AnxietyProneJen
14-06-12, 05:03
[QUOTE=AnxiousAva;992872]Looking back on my posts on here is quite interesting, while I've been really well (mentally) for the last two weeks, I've started spiralling down again with this tiny lump behind my earlobe. It's in the groove below/behind the earlobe, and seems to be unmoving, located close to the jaw joint
Hi Ava,
I had the exact same sort of lump behind the earlobe last winter. The more I poked, the more it swelled. My doctor wasn't concerned, and it eventually disappeared. If it's a gland, I think it is unmoveable because there is hardly any flesh in that area.
Sorry guys I'm having a blip! I had layrngitis and a chest infection a month ago and had antibiotics. My nodes went bigger then gradually reduced but were still present as they always are! I can't believe it but it's come back again and the nodes are up. I'm just beginning to panic again. Surely it's not normal to keep catching things I e been I'll 4 separate times since Christmas. I don't want to worry anymore but today it's really getting the better of me. What if they got it wrong? Please help! Xx
Hi Kelly,
Good to hear from you but I wish it were under better circumstances.
Just thought I'd drop you a quick message to give you some support. Remember, we all have ups and downs and it's impossible for anyone to be on top form all the time. I was like that a couple of week's ago and just had to ride it out.
I could reassure you that you've nothing to worry about (which after all your tests, I'm sure is the case), but as you know, the real problem is your anxiety which makes you feel like that. I doubt if there's anything I can say to make you believe it except to say that we've all been there and you will feel better again. Focus on the positive things you've got going on - your kids, fiancé and up-coming wedding. Although it's often easier said than done, distraction is great for giving your mind a rest.
Please pm me if you need someone to talk to - I'm more than happy to help as long as you reciprocate one day when I'm having a bad patch!
Take care
Pip xx
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