StupidBrain
08-04-12, 18:24
Hi everyone,
I thought I'd take the plunge and join this discussion group finally. I've been reading posts regularly for a year or so now and keep coming back to certain posts which are just so helpful.
I'm 26, a student, and about to graduate and join a high-stress profession. Brilliant. I've had OCD since I was 16 and have had CBT around that time. I've just stopped taking 10mg Cipralex (escitalopram) which I was on for a couple of years. I've put up with OCD for 10 years now, working at it here and there but never have managed to get totally over it. I'm particularly worried now as it is holding me back from studying for my finals, but I'm in a pickle as I dont' have time to get councelling/CBT from now until I graduate.
My biggest obsessions are:
HIV
Herpes
Turning my bf into a paedophile (it's just ridiculous even typing it)
I've tested negative for HIV, never had any symptoms of herpes and my bf is a lovely guy and we have a healthy physical relationship.
Has anyone else had the same worry about turning their partners into monsters?
My compulsions are even more frustrating and bizarre:
Hand washing is the worst one
Not being able to leave the cursor blinking at the end of incomplete sentences (which makes typing a nightmare!)
Crossing lines and thresholds with my left leg first
Always having to read the last sentence on a page (this includes wrappers on the street -- along with always having have my left leg first over cracks in the pavement makes me look like a TOTAL weirdo)
Having to make the last sentence I read on a carrier bag a sentence which is NOT 'keep away from babies and children' as reading that last will make my bf a paedophile.
The Cipralex maybe helped a bit but I found that in combination with alcohol I'd turn into some monstrous, uncontrollable mess which has led to some stupid risk taking and arguments. I'm just not satisfied that it addresses my OCD enough -- I was on it originally for bereavement depression which I'm coping with now.
Does anyone have any suggestions about which meds I should ask my GP about which are more specific for OCD?
I do try to use the stuff I learned in my CBT sessions but I find it hard not to catastrophise as a few years ago my family suffered a massive catastrophe which I had had previous obsessions about and had chosen to ignore. Plus I keep getting mortifying health issues -- I've had blooming verrucas since I was 10 and the contamination fear about them is always in the background. I wash my hands everytime I touch my feet/socks/shoes/floor. Another beaut I've suffered from is threadworms which I seem to pick up from staying in hostels when I've been travelling. The number of times I've been told I've caught them through poor hygiene levels is ridiculous. OF ALL PEOPLE to get them, why would it be the person who washes their hands, on average, every 30 minutes???
Anyway, if anyone can relate to this post, please reply. Any input is so gratefully received.
I thought I'd take the plunge and join this discussion group finally. I've been reading posts regularly for a year or so now and keep coming back to certain posts which are just so helpful.
I'm 26, a student, and about to graduate and join a high-stress profession. Brilliant. I've had OCD since I was 16 and have had CBT around that time. I've just stopped taking 10mg Cipralex (escitalopram) which I was on for a couple of years. I've put up with OCD for 10 years now, working at it here and there but never have managed to get totally over it. I'm particularly worried now as it is holding me back from studying for my finals, but I'm in a pickle as I dont' have time to get councelling/CBT from now until I graduate.
My biggest obsessions are:
HIV
Herpes
Turning my bf into a paedophile (it's just ridiculous even typing it)
I've tested negative for HIV, never had any symptoms of herpes and my bf is a lovely guy and we have a healthy physical relationship.
Has anyone else had the same worry about turning their partners into monsters?
My compulsions are even more frustrating and bizarre:
Hand washing is the worst one
Not being able to leave the cursor blinking at the end of incomplete sentences (which makes typing a nightmare!)
Crossing lines and thresholds with my left leg first
Always having to read the last sentence on a page (this includes wrappers on the street -- along with always having have my left leg first over cracks in the pavement makes me look like a TOTAL weirdo)
Having to make the last sentence I read on a carrier bag a sentence which is NOT 'keep away from babies and children' as reading that last will make my bf a paedophile.
The Cipralex maybe helped a bit but I found that in combination with alcohol I'd turn into some monstrous, uncontrollable mess which has led to some stupid risk taking and arguments. I'm just not satisfied that it addresses my OCD enough -- I was on it originally for bereavement depression which I'm coping with now.
Does anyone have any suggestions about which meds I should ask my GP about which are more specific for OCD?
I do try to use the stuff I learned in my CBT sessions but I find it hard not to catastrophise as a few years ago my family suffered a massive catastrophe which I had had previous obsessions about and had chosen to ignore. Plus I keep getting mortifying health issues -- I've had blooming verrucas since I was 10 and the contamination fear about them is always in the background. I wash my hands everytime I touch my feet/socks/shoes/floor. Another beaut I've suffered from is threadworms which I seem to pick up from staying in hostels when I've been travelling. The number of times I've been told I've caught them through poor hygiene levels is ridiculous. OF ALL PEOPLE to get them, why would it be the person who washes their hands, on average, every 30 minutes???
Anyway, if anyone can relate to this post, please reply. Any input is so gratefully received.